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Tess
02-08-2004, 11:41 AM
Transgender

A word that causes most people to avert their eyes and causes anxiety in both genders. It seems to threaten both genders, but in different ways. Even some gay and lesbians are unsettled by the phenomenon.

I am a MtF transgender (male to female), but there is also FtM (female to male). There are transsexuals, who chose to make the complete transition through hormone and surgical procedures. There are transvestites, which chose to live in their desired role full time by dressing as the opposite gender. And then there are crossdressers, who chose to step in and out of their transgendered roll.

It is a sort of sexual limbo. Are you straight, gay, or bisexual? All of the above, none of the above, or just confused as hell?

As best as I can tell, it is a rebellion of sorts against the socialization of genders. Example: What happens when a small child falls and skins it’s knee. In the case of a female child, they are scooped up by their parent, soothed and comforted. In the case of a male child, they are told to shrug it off, take the pain, and “Be a man!” This is an oversimplification of the issue, but it shows the basis of gender socialization.

This unfulfilled suppression of emotions and feelings can sometimes crop up in later life in some rather interesting reactions. Transgender is one of them. It can also result in dominance/submission and other areas labeled as “kink”.

When I made my decision to come out as a crossdresser, I dreaded it because of the shame and stigma. Instead, when I finally did take the big step, I found it to be enlightening and fulfilling. I had finally become a complete person.

That’s my vent for the day. One thing that helps those into TG is networking with others. We are such a minority, that the feelings of being outcasts and being alone are sometimes overwhelming. I invite any others facing these issues contact me, either through the thread or by PM. If you want more information, here is a great website:

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cathytg/anima.htm

Above all, I want everyone to know that the most elevated form of the human condition is friendship and companionship. Sex may cum, and sex may go, but a friend is always there.

Keep up the good work, Pixies!

Your friend (who happens to wear funny clothes),

Tess
Aka H@rd Rock

Loulabelle
02-08-2004, 11:47 AM
Good on ya Tess - at Pixies we see not gender we just see beautiful sexy and inspiring people. x

osuche
02-08-2004, 11:48 AM
((((Tess))))

That took guts...and I admire your openness. I know how difficult it is to go through life feeling different.

Don't worry -- we in the Pixies community support you, and are happy to have you as a member!

dm383
02-08-2004, 11:52 AM
Thanks for the link, Tess..... very interesting reading.

DM

P.S. I KNEW I recognised your sig. ~ just couldn't place it!! :)

jennaflower
02-08-2004, 02:05 PM
Tess...

You are wonderful the way you are... no matter the clothes you may happen to be wearing at that moment... and I know of NO ONE who looks better in red than you do :)

Kisses

PantyFanatic
02-08-2004, 03:04 PM
Regardless of your mood at the moment, you’re a guttsy dud for laying this out. Now I’m even more sorry we didn’t connect for that meal during your last trip (or tentative trip), to Cleveland. When our January weather and airplanes become more compatible, we’ll do it.;) It sounds as if you have insight to something completely foreign and can present it honestly. Very interesting. Stay in touch, and I’ll be watching this thread.

Lilith
02-08-2004, 03:19 PM
((Told Ya!)) :p

Cheyanne
02-08-2004, 03:21 PM
This is a prime example of what makes me proud to be a part of this "Pixie Family". The support, openess and caring that there is here far surpasses the norm.

You said it right Tess - "Above all, I want everyone to know that the most elevated form of the human condition is friendship and companionship. Sex may cum, and sex may go, but a friend is always there."

musketeer
02-08-2004, 03:36 PM
I have a good friend who is (last time we spoke) a pre op M > F trans-sexual and I am still and intend to stay a close friend of this person. I wouldn't claim to be a friend of yours yet Tess but you have my support and admiration for being so open about yourself.

Tess
02-08-2004, 03:40 PM
No, Cheyanne, you said it right:

Originally posted by Cheyanne
This is a prime example of what makes me proud to be a part of this "Pixie Family". The support, openess and caring that there is here far surpasses the norm.

Thanks to everyone for their support, and especially those special friends who have given me support from the start.

Again, I invite all those "different feeling" people to reach out to others. You are not alone.

celticangel
02-08-2004, 05:33 PM
((((((((((((((((TESS!)))))))))))))))))

Sharni
02-08-2004, 06:49 PM
Good on you for speaking out! (((((Tess)))))

Teddy Bear
02-08-2004, 07:21 PM
Tess,

Ty for the explanation. I think knowledge is the first step toward understanding and acceptance.

It must have been difficult to come out. Ty for sharing with us.

*hugs*
teddy :)

PS..... Like dm, I thought your sig. was familiar. ;) :D

jseal
02-08-2004, 07:31 PM
Tess,

Glad to learn that you are in a more comfortable place now. Glad to learn you remain a member.

Belial
02-09-2004, 05:39 AM
*huggles Tess tightly*

Glad you are that comfortable with us as to share that with us :)

LixyChick
02-09-2004, 06:06 AM
Awwwww sweety! You....in any way, shape or form....are a beautiful person!

BTW ((((Tess)))).....your clothes aren't funny....but rather.....some are prettier than my stuff! Grrrrrrrrrr! LOL!

babybunny
02-09-2004, 09:50 AM
Red or yellow or black or white all are precious in our sight. :)

Aqua
02-09-2004, 04:49 PM
Hey Tess... glad to see you took that step. Btw, your clothes aren't any funnier than some of mine. Matter of fact, I bet some of the things I wear are downright ridiculous compared to your wardrobe. ;) :p

Tess
02-09-2004, 04:52 PM
I have one word for you, Aqua - fredericks.com :)

axe31
02-09-2004, 06:20 PM
as a bi guy i can understand the stigma of being differant from
what other people think is normal and am happy that you feel
confident about who you are and how you feel about you
and remember the gay bi lesbians have the transgenderd
to thank because they started the pride marches and the whole
sexuality equality movement:cool:
from a new freind

BlueSwede
02-12-2004, 12:16 AM
Thanks for sharing, Tess. :) You certainly are right about the importance of friendship and support. I wish you and your support network well.

fzzy
02-12-2004, 03:15 AM
Glad to see you are still with us .... in the way you feel most comfortable!! :)

zipededoo
02-12-2004, 05:29 AM
Way to go Tess! If only the rest of the world could be as accepting and understanding as Pixies. I've wrestled with transgender for many confusing years. Growing up and being made to feel freakish for my feelings. It's tough out there for someone who doesn't fit the standard mould.

But age brings peace and calm to that turmoil. I accept all the varied aspects of my personality. I realised that no-one fits a standard mould. We're all unique lovely and loving people. :)

skyler_m
02-12-2004, 09:05 AM
Tess - thank you for sharing that with us. I can't imagine what you have been going through internally over the years. I can imagine you've had some relief.

I've known that I'm bi-curious for most of my life. I did have an experience with a friend of mine when I was 16. Long story short, I wasn't mature enough to handle what we did. For a while, I was wondering about crossdressing. I tried on a pair of panties and basically decided that it wasn't for me.

To help me get past the "stigma" of being bi curious, many of my fantasies involve being with a m to f TG. (Yes, I know I'm just adding to the stigma...) Basically, although I don't enjoy the dressing, I enjoy seeing it.

Congrats!

Steph
02-12-2004, 09:49 AM
WTG Tess! If you're ever in T.O., we'll hook up and spend some tmie in gay village, a wonderfully friendly, accepting place to be.