Lilith
01-26-2004, 02:32 PM
Mr. Lil works for the state here and he designed an online system for supervisors to rate their employees. He sent me this (something someone had forwarded to him)...
These quotes were taken from actual Federal Government employee performance evaluations (maybe you've felt this way too when evaluating folks...):
"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
"This young lady has delusion of adequacy."
"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
"This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
"A gross ignoramus - - - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
"He would argue with a signpost."
"He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1 million other sperm."
"One neuron short of a synapse."
These quotes were taken from actual Federal Government employee performance evaluations (maybe you've felt this way too when evaluating folks...):
"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
"This young lady has delusion of adequacy."
"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
"This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
"A gross ignoramus - - - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
"He would argue with a signpost."
"He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1 million other sperm."
"One neuron short of a synapse."