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Steph
01-23-2004, 01:16 PM
The first one cracked me up as I thought of DB's recent 'puter troubles:


~Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
~Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
~Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?
~Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
~Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
~How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move
the wrong way?
~Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner reach down, pick it up, examine it then put it down to
give their vacuum one more chance?
~Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
~How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
~Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not
then what was the purpose of the bath?
~Considering all the lint you get in your dryer if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
~When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right"? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot"!
~What is the point of brick wallpaper?
~Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
~Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
~How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

nikki1979
01-23-2004, 01:29 PM
ROFPMSL thats to good!!! all of that hit way to close to home!!!spec the clean house dead PC one!!!!

~nikki

Booger
01-23-2004, 11:49 PM
lol steph those are so true

Sharni
01-24-2004, 12:03 AM
LMAO...cute

LixyChick
01-24-2004, 10:10 AM
OMG! Too funny!

And....when you drop a piece of buttered toast....the buttered side will, most assuredly, hit the floor!

Or.....Do we really need directions on shampoo bottles?

Also.....Why is abbreviation such a long word?

And the ever popular......*Let them be the one to get food poisoning...theory* Taste this! (as you're shoving it in your s/o's mouth) Does it taste as bad as it smells?

Cobalt
01-24-2004, 11:59 AM
ROTFLMAO, those are good and true!

nikki1979
01-24-2004, 04:15 PM
LMAO lixy i do that to jeeping , or well i try , he usually gives me the are u fuckin nuts look while grabbing it from myhand and chunkin it in the bin!

~nikki~

Steph
01-25-2004, 04:17 AM
But seriously, who thought of brick wallpaper?

dicksbro
01-25-2004, 05:15 AM
LMAO. These are all terrific.

Oldfart
01-25-2004, 08:41 AM
Good, very good.

BIBI
01-25-2004, 08:48 AM
Originally posted by Steph
But seriously, who thought of brick wallpaper?


The person who wanted to grow vines up their walls and couldn't decided to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. ;)

Lilith
01-25-2004, 08:57 AM
Besides garbage bags, those bags in the produce section get me everytime. I stand there like an idiot (ya I know, not neccessarily a stretch:D) veggies in one hnd thinking I am somehow going to get that bag open on the first try.:rolleyes:

Steph
01-25-2004, 11:36 AM
And I totally pictured WI with the person bashing his ankles in the produce aisle.

"Oh, that's OK. I wanted a gigantic ankle anyway."

exhib_it_all
01-25-2004, 01:10 PM
LMAO!

Also:
Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?

dancingrugger
01-25-2004, 03:11 PM
Originally posted by LixyChick
OMG! Too funny!

And....when you drop a piece of buttered toast....the buttered side will, most assuredly, hit the floor!




On the buttered toast theory, (i'm sure we've all heard this) i just thought i'd share, this always cracks me up when I think of it.Buttered Toast (http://www.why-is-the-sky-blue.tv/catfeet-toast.htm)

Scarecrow
01-25-2004, 03:17 PM
^^^ROTFLMFAO