Ascension Deficit Disorder

[Lilith]

What's a guy to do?????

If this has ever happened to you, what do you do when it occurs?

Euphemisms for Impotence



180 degrees shy of heaven

Performing with Flacido Domingo


A few parts shy of an erector set


Sch-wing and a miss


Not rising to the level of impeachable offense


The Null Monte


Disappointing Miss Daisy


Taking the gold at the Lake Flaccid Olympics


Ascension Deficit Disorder


Bouncing the Check of Love


Less-than-Magic Johnson


All Doled up with nowhere to go


Welcome to Flaccid City. Population: You


Serving boneless pork


Unleavened Man-Bread

[IAKaraokeGirl]

OMG, LMAO Lil!

[CunningLinguist]

If this has ever happened to you, what do you do when it occurs?

Yes, and much more too often than I would like it to happen.

I just cry about it.

[lakritze]

HA! These are funny.

[osuche]

DOn't know that I'd use them while in the heat of the moment...I might get slapped.

Or worse.

Wait...is that incentive? :hot:

[WildIrish]

Great phrases!

I once suffered from a miscalibrated compass needle and tried viagra. It produced the intended results, but I couldn't imagine staying on it forever. Turns out, the very stressful job I had at the time was the culprit. Six months after the onset of my condition I changed jobs and "Voila!". But then again, that was before I heard of Pixies.

[LixyChick]

Take one Pixies membership.....and call me in the morning......

eh, WI?

Excellent prescription!

Those are cute Lil....but I doubt I'd use any in the heat of the moment!

*takes notes....for future reference* TeeHee!

[quisath]

No problems YET.....................but if it does........................I'll start eatting more CHILI-PEEPERS. Real Cute Lil. ;)

[sillyme]

Have to remember these... they're great :)

[campingboy]

I have a different issue. I don;t go soft, I just never cum. I'm pron to major headaches. I have been perscribed a combo of codine and muscle relaxents. After taking that combo I can not cum for about 6 hrs. Funny how she never coplains about it. She just rides me until she has had enough.

[south]

What???? Nothing in there about "Meatloaf"???

[Tess]

Too funny, Lil :)

How about, "Viagra dependent'?

[Wicked Wanda]

I am sitting here very tipsy, answering these posts carefully, watching my spelling and grammar as an English Lit. professor's daughter should.
I was younger and foolish, and made a smart comment when my date wasn't able to keep his erection. I don't even remember now exactly what I said to him...
The result was terrifying. I ended up bruised, scared, and sadly wiser. After he vented his anger on me for about 5 minutes or so, he threw me out the door. I landed naked on my rear in the hotel hall, waiting for my clothes and purse to be thrown out to me, I then tried to vanish down the stairs before hotel security arrived to investigate my screams. The marks faded, but not the memory.
This was my first real world education in violence.
Now I am a much better judge of people's character, but I NEVER make smart comments to a man about his lack of size, or hardness!! EVER!!!
I make reasonable attempts using my mouth, hand, fingers, lotion, toys, and any other method I can think of to help, and then sweetly ask to be eaten at the same time. This is helpful too, and even if he doesn't get it hard enough, I cuddle, sigh, moan and have a good time, and thank him a lot. I have also learned that if I am wet enough, I can work a sort -of hard penis into me.
Leigh says I practice "defensive sex"
Truthfully, even now, when I see a "drooper" (one of my own names for one) I flinch at that memeory.
Funny... up to know only 4 other people knew about that night, and now I have shared it with all of you.

"in vino veritas"

Wanda

[LixyChick]

((((((((Wanda)))))))))

TY for sharing hun!

Lifes lessons are usually learned the hard way. So sorry yours had to be way too hard! Sensitivity factor duly noted!

[jennaflower]

Wanda... thank you for sharing... HUGS..

[Irish]

When I first got diabetic neuropothy(sp?),I temporarily suffered from that problem.It is a nerve disorder.I immediately asked my Dr. about it.He said that it was a temporary problem & everything
would return to normal.It did & when I told another Dr. about it,
he said"You're lucky".It usually doesn't return,but he didn't want to tell you that.I was mainly concerned,that my wife would think,
that she didn't turn me on anymore.She has been married to me
since May1,1965,and knows how easily I'm aroused.I imagine that
it's like going blind,after having sight.You definately know what
you're missing.I can't imagine going thru life like that! Irish

[osuche]

(((WW))) -- as another woman who has experienced a man getting angry after not being able to perform -- I appreciate you sharing. I know how frightening that experience was...

((((WW)))))

[SuzyQ]

My husband has got that a few times, when the kids have wandered into the room! And we never has sex if his Mom is staying with us, so am assuming that is the same problem. They are really funny Lil, and Wanda I think making comments about a man's penis is akin to making rude comments about a woman's weight...Good for you for learning and being diplomatic.