age difference

[eliza261]

Hi.. i am new to the forums.. although not this website..
i have a question.. how much importance is placed on age difference.. i know it is all over tv and the media these days.. but i have started talking to a woman( i know that we all hate the term bi curious.. but i am) she is 30 and i am 20.. is that an unreasonable age difference?? does age matter.. the relationshif that we are currently engaged in is friendship however is developing into more.. and she has a child.. i dont know how she deals with this with her child.. that is her own buisness.. but am i just being stupid?? i am not sure. that is the only thing i feel that is holding me back,..
please help.. i am so stuck. and have spent hours thinking about it but i would die if someone that i knew found out what was happening.. i am percieved as a good girl..
thanks for any advice that any one could give me
is there an age difference for hetero relationships too that seems pervy.. other than the obvios.. i am prob just making this a bigger deal than it needs to be but hey.. i dont have any close friends to talk about anything like this with..
thanks again :D

[Grumble]

You are at an age where age difference is less of an issue.

Were you 16 and the person 26 it would be something that would be of concern legally and practically.

At 20 you are not a minor and from my point of view it is perfectly acceptable.

[Lilith]

Hi and welcome! You just seem to be thinking things through and that is wise. The age to me is not relevant. The fact that she has a child and that you fear discovery by people you know, are the real issues. Good girls can be bi. :D Just be you and do what makes you happy. Yes, you should take into consideration those around you but only you live your life. Your decisions have to be the right ones for you.

[jseal]

eliza261,

Welcome to Pixies. I hope you enjoy your stay here.

You seem to be working through more than one personal issue. The issue of age is less important than what seems to you to be good or virtuous. Discretion will take care of the former; you’ll need to reflect upon the latter.

[osuche]

I don't know that I'm an expert at age difference...but...my feeling is that two people need to align in terms of their expectations of the relationship for it to be successful. An older person and a younger one -- where neither wants to settle down or raise a family -- can work out well. Problems come from mis-matched expecations of one another.

As with any difference in background, upbringing, race, age, etc...these differences require us to take a littl emore time with one another, and to give the other person some "room to express themself." As long as you keep these points in mind, you should be fine.

They've worked for me...and I've dated men 20 years my senior, as well as foreigners and non-native English speakers. Every difference just takes time and patience to sort out.

[Loren]

It depends on the people involved. I'm married to someone more than 20 years my senior. However, back in my dating days I found just about everyone my age to be immature.

[PantyFanatic]

Just a tid-bit to add to some of the good advise already stated above.:)

I have mentioned to some of our members that I have found a “guideline”, for age difference of B/G, that seems to work fairly well. Any ages can make love and enjoy it, but for a relationship, it helps to have some common ground. The rule is suppose to be an old Arabic guide that goes as follows:

“The woman should not be younger than one half the man’s age plus 7 years.” lol It does seem to work out. Try it.;)

man 18, woman 9 + 7 = 16
man 20, woman 10 + 7 = 17
man 30, woman 15 + 7 = 22
man 40, woman 20 + 7 = 27
man 50, woman 25 + 7 = 32

[osuche]

<-- Thanks PF for the calculations. COuldn't have managed tham on my own.

:D :p :D

[eliza261]

Thanks to everyone for thier thoughts.. i appreciate it a lot.. it has been bugging me for the last week or 2.. and i needed to ask someone..
much appreciated

btw,., thanks for the calculations too :D
Thanks..
Eliza

[OzKristin]

when i had just turned 17, i lost my virginity to my 23 year old boyfriend -the one i'm still with today ;) (if u haven't heard that comment from the other threads) I have no problem with age difference, ours seems to work well, and the guys my age weren't mature enough for me

[PantyFanatic]

Originally posted by osuche
<-- Thanks PF for the calculations. COuldn't have managed tham on my own.

:D :p :D
You can play with my toys if I can play with yours.:D

[nikki1979]

fist q for me is do u feel comfy w her?? if so screw the age thing! back when i was dating i dated guys twice my age to guys 2 yrs younger than me when i was 20. i actually prefer them older, seem to have more experience and more laid back. i honestly think its all in how u feel when ur with her.
g'luck
~nikki~

[sillyme]

eliza261,

Welcome!

Given your age and hers there shouldn't be any problems with a relationship (providing you both work at it)

However, as Lilith pointed out, you do seem to have some other issues that you need to think about before embarking on any change in your relationship with this woman.

Good luck and I hope things work out for you.

[SuzyQ]

I am 43, and had my first bi experience with a 40 yr old woman when I was 20. Was the best way to introduce me to a new exprience I had been curious about. Was wonderful! Go for it!!
There are bi girls in BC ;-)

[Mercury_Maniac]

well in your case i don't think it matters when 2 hot women are going at it, as long as i can watch!

[Ryan²]

Originally posted by Grumble
You are at an age where age difference is less of an issue.

Were you 16 and the person 26 it would be something that would be of concern legally and practically.

At 20 you are not a minor and from my point of view it is perfectly acceptable. Thank god. Although I prefer to keep my age secret, I'm over 20 and so if I ever find a girl at almost 30 years old, I'm safe.

Forget Grumble or grumbleguts, GeniusGuts is your name. ;)