I know what I want to be when I grow up

[Cheyanne]

A happy thing and a rant................

Well, I have decided... I am going to go back to college!!! YAY! I will start night school on January 20th - and I am really excited! Computer Information Systems (CIS) Web Development with an AAS degree, and will hopefully follow with a BA degree sometime beyond that! Sounds pretty exotic doesn't it?? LOL

Now, some background....Cobalt and I have been married for 5 years now. He has custody of the kids because his ex walked out on all of them and the kids wanted to be with their dad. She didn't have anything to do with the kids really until I came into the picture and has been a bane in my side from that moment on. What does that have to do with my going back to college? Read on fellow Pixians....

The only downside to my attending college is what became known to me just last night. Cobalt's ex-wife (UGGGGGG) decided for some unknown reason to attend college as well, same place, same time, same bat channel!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGG - it is like the proverbial bad penny!!! The stomach ache that you always get from eating too many green apples!!!! The act of vomiting when you open up a carton of milk and find that it is spoiled!!!! Yeah, I know, a bit dramatic.. <sigh> ... but true! Cobalt won't hardly speak with her, and basically the communication that goes on between us for the kids sake is through me. And it is exhausting to be pleasant and nice and perky with her, so for the most part, when I don't have to see much less speak to her my day is excellent. Becasue she is starting the same day as I am, we are going to have lots of gen. ed. classes together. :( The only good thing is she is attending for totally different stuff then I am, so it will only be the gen ed classes that we will have together.

***OK... I hear Lixy in my head - "Calm...Love... Peace..." :) - and if she spits on you give her a right hook to the jaw! ***

All that I am ranting about isn't new....I have had to overcome the small town she has lived here her whole life and you are the new kid in school mentality in the community. Everytime I am interested in a club, service group, school committee, she is there - or her little spies tell her, and she shows up. Now, where I thought I would be "safe" and be in a place that was totally mine (in another city), she is there again!!! I am being tested! Am I being punished for having "bad" thoughts about her??? Do I have to find my center and make peace with my enemy???

I do know this - I am strong, brave, smart and will succeed in anything that I do. I also know that she cannot control me (even though she tries). And, if she tries to sit beside me in class, I am going to move - and maybe in Speech class I will give a speech about dead-beat moms who leave their kids...... jk... lol

Thanks for listening to me..........

[Catch22]

Is she with anyone? Any time I have done any sort of course, they always turn out to be a datefest. She may meet a guy there and be out of your hair after that. The best thing about little towns is getting out of them you know. Is that an option?

[Cheyanne]

She had an affair during her marriage with Cobalt and got married to him 2 days after their divorce was final.

Getting out of town is not an option... for the kids, or us. We are on a "century farm" in the country... and I wouldn't allow her to chase me from my home.

[Catch22]

Oh! A very nasty sort indeed.

[Cobalt]

I have the solution......... but.............. for some reason it is illegal to stop someone so worthless from using up valuable oxygen.

Someday the chance to pay her back for all the shit she has put us through will appear, and boy will that be sweet then. They say what goes around comes around.................. still waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Catch22]

It would seem to me you have every right not to be nice to her. The 'towns folk' like her then? She is a big fish in a small pond sort?

[PantyFanatic]

.....We are on a "century farm" in the country... and I wouldn't allow her to chase me from my home.
That sounds like the Cheyanne I’ve come to know. :) And if she puts as much effort into this schooling as you say went into raising her children, she won’t be there long.;) This could be a great opportunity to SHOW your small town what you are made of instead of them HEARING what you arn’t.:D

(On the day you get your first degree,... send her a bottle of champagne or fruit basket with a note saying “thanks for the incentive”.) ;)

[Catch22]

More and more I like the way PF thinks.

[Lilith]

YAY!!!!! Sister friend! I am so proud of you. Ignore the ex, not worth it, wish her well and put her on extinction. I am not gonna lie and say that maintaining a homelife, taking care of a family and doing all the 6,000 other things that have to be done cause you are the wife/mom, make it easy to be a returning student but being determined to do it despite all the million things needing your attention too, turns you into a different kind of student. You will do fabulously!

If ya need anything, I'll be here for you. (((Chey)))

[Cheyanne]

I love you guys!!!

Catch22 - it isn't so much that she is a big fish in a small pond, there aren't many who enjoy her company, and they do hold it against her that she left her kids.... she is all appearances to the public... perhaps she feels as if she has something to prove... I don't know. And I guess I shouldn't really care - I have me and mine to worry about and I shouldn't allow her to affect/effect me in the way that she does.

Thanks PF... (((((HUGS))))) Sometimes I have to wallow a bit before I find my moxy - I don't know if that is a fault of mine or not, but more often than not I get more motivated afterwards. And besides... I wouldn't waste a good bottle of wine/champagne/beer on her - and I would eat the fruit first and send her the pits!!

(((((LILITH))))) When I was weighing the pros and cons of returning to college I thought of you....and put your name on the pro side.. :D There are a lot of things that happen in my everyday life that I often say to myself "What would Lilith, Sharni, Lixy, IAKG, Steph... etc do?" It is like you guys are apparitions that float around me and motivate/protect/care for me... which is a goooooood thing!!! :D

(((HUGS)))) to you all - and thanks for letting me wallow/rant/get it out of my system!!!!

[jseal]

Cheyanne,

Best of luck madam. I hope she doesn't try your patience TOO much between now and your graduation. Some people can be difficult to deal with and are indeed unavoidable.

[Steph]

Good luck {{{{{{{{{Cheyanne}}}}}

Hopefully she'll drop out in the first week. :D

If not, is there any way you can be civil about it and tell her that you'll deal with her re: the kids but school is off limits?

[Cheyanne]

jseal - you are right on with that... she won't try my patience if I don't allow her too... ****CHANT-chant-chant-CHANT**** lol

Steph ((((HUGS))))

I have had my wallow pity party.. now I am ok, thanks in part to my rant, all of you and Cobalt. I am grounded now.. :D and I feel kinda silly for reacting the way I did. Getting it out of my system did help! :D :D :D

If she feels it necessary to communicate with me verbally during school time about the kids my response is going to be - "Now is not the time, if you have something you want to talk about do it in an e-mail." That way we have a record of it (CYA) and then she will get the message that I do not wish to socialize with her. As far as homework, workgroups, etc., go during school - it may be unavoidable, but - after speaking with the lady who does the scheduling and giving her some background, I feel better. She will go above and beyond the call of duty to assist me in making my college experience a good one without any unnecessary additional stress - so she will schedule the ex and I accordingly.

I also found out that a few of my prior credits may transfer over so some of the gen ed courses I won't have to take... she is also checking on some more - so that is good. Less gen ed, less exposure.. :D

[Catch22]

Do the kids refer to you as their mother? If so then you have it all and to the wicked witch we say:
LOSER

[Irish]

Cheyanne---I totally agree with what you are doing!A few years ago,I wouldn't have,but I have learned thru experience.This post,
has nothing to do with Cobalts ex.I have no suggestions,on that.
A few years ago,my wife,wanted to go to night college,to get a degree.At that time,I said-Why waste your time?Our kids are grown &you have a good job & are making good money.She went,
graduated & got her degree.After being at the same job(accounting firm)for 12 1/2 yrs,the local office closed.The home office was in Laconia NH(about 40/45mi,from here)I temporarily,
worked there.If you remember the movie"On Golden Pond",I
commuted & rebuilt the engine,on the US Postal boat,that supposedly "burned"in the movie.The commute sucks.My wife quit
& now works at Liberty Mutual.She now makes well over $50,000
a year.Without getting her degree,she wouldn't have gotten the
job!Shows how smart that I was.Good Luck! Irish

[BigBear57]

I wouldn't dare offer advice Cheyanne, I just wish you the best in your pursuit and I know you're a classy enough woman to handle this without a hitch. Life in small towns can be trying.

[ericthered]

Yup - just ingnore the bitch. Treat her like a stranger who doesn't matter to you one way or the other - as if you'd never even heard of her. Don't even give her the satisfaction of being rude to her.

[Belial]

*hugs Cheyanne*

Sometimes being sickly sweet to someone is even better than being hostile or cold, because it gets them paranoid about what you might be trying to slip past them, and if they don't reciprocate, they look like an arsehole in the eyes of everyone else :)

But I'm sure you'll know what to do in your particular case :)

[osuche]

Congrats on making your decision to go back to school. I admire your fortitude.

[Cheyanne]

Thank you all for your support... LOL (sounds like a political message - I approve this message lol).

I am just going to concentrate on my education...just as I would if she wasn't there anyway. This is my investment into my future and my familiy's, and I am not going to allow her to influence me in any way. I just had a few moments of @#$%^&!*%%$(***% that I apparantly needed to have to get to this point. I don't know that I would have reacted like I did if what I was doing didn't take a monumental decision on my part.

I intimidate her anyway cause she can't control me - she tries and sometimes she does succeed (even though she doesn't know it - i.e. my reaction to her going the same time as I am). I am familiar with the college setting - I have been twice prior to different colleges, and I know the instructors, building, routine of this one because our oldest son and Cobalt is going there.. so I do have the advantage as far as that goes. She has never been to college and wasn't a good student at all in high school, so she is going to have her own set of problems to deal with and hopefully won't try to start anything. If she does, then I will take it as it comes - like I always do.

We know the lady who makes up the schedules. We communicated with her regarding the scheduling of the ex and I, and we will be going to classes on the same nights. I was concerned because we "hired" the oldest girl for so much a week, to watch the youngest, and if the ex had classes on different nights, I would have had to hire a different babysitter because one night a week she would have her visitation with the oldest. But that isn't a worry now.

I am prepared now since I got this stuff out of my system.

OH.... and when I graduate - there is going to be a bigggggggg party - I never had a high school graduation or any other graduation party - limited $$$... so watch out!!!!! :D

[Scarecrow]

Yay another Pixies college pin-up girl.

Congrtat Cheyanne

[Booger]

best of luck with going back to school Cheyanne and as for the ex witch I know you are stong enough to handle anything she tries.

[Cheyanne]

(((((scarecrow)))))

((((((Booger))))))

Thank you.. :D

[Nuelaan]

Is what she majoring in something that is available there in town? when she graduates will she move? If so help her with any classes you can. Sometimes you can be nice to somebody just to spite them.

[LixyChick]

Yay! I'm so happy for you Chey! I'm also a bit envious....that's right...envious! Least you know what you want to be when you grow up now! (((((((Chey))))))) That must feel soooooooooo good inside!

LOL@hearing me in your head! I have a way with words...don't I? Oh geezzzzz!

Best of luck hun! You are a strong woman with a goal and a family to back you and encourage you......both home and here! With all of that going for you....there is no way that ex can bring you down! Sometimes we anticipate the worst case scenario from fear of the unknown! You'll see.........it'll be great! Hold your head high sweety! We'll be here whenever you need to rant or pick our brains or just need an encouraging word!

(((((((((Cheyanne))))))))))

[Cheyanne]

We kinda have a feeling that once the youngest is done with all of her schooling (1 yr of HS and maybe 2 years of college), they may move. Her sicker half... lol.. is retiring this summer (yeah.. rich and waiting for him to die I guess), and according to the kids, the only reason that she is going is so she won't be "stuck" where she works now forever... so we think they will be moving. Who know - and besides, once this one is done with school and out on her own, I don't think it will be so bad.

((((((((((Lixy)))))))))) Yeah, I hear you and many other Pixies in my head - lol!!! And that is a good thing I tell ya!

And that is what I have a tendency to do.... worst case scenario, and then it really isn't as bad as I imagine. Probably a coping strategy... :D