movie quotes

[musicman]

Haven't seen a thread like this so thought I'd drop it in....

What are some of your favourite quotes from movies?

I'll start with this....

"It's understanding that makes it possible for people like us to tolerate a person like yourself" - Ferris Bueller's Day Off....

[Cheyanne]

hooooooooooooooooooooo haaaaaaaaaaaa......

Loved it when Al Pachino (Lt. Col. Frank Slade) groaned it out in the movie Scent of a Woman... :D

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Women...What could you say? Who made 'em? God must've been a fucking genius.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: There are only two syllables worth hearing.......pussy.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Tits. Hoo-hah! Big ones, little ones. Nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Legs. I don't care if they're Greek columns, or second-hand Steinways, but what's between them... passport to heaven.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: When in doubt, fuck.

[musicman]

loved that movie

[sobayli]

"But Daddy...I want an Umpa-Lumpa NOW!!!

Varuca Salt....Willy Wonka...Which I haer Tim Burton is remaking..WHY????

[Akasha]

because Tim Burton would be the only one Good enough!!!

[Akasha]

And speaking of Tim Burton: here is one of my fav lines from the *classic* The Nightmare Before Christmas:

MAYOR: I'm only an elected an official here, I can't make decisions by myself

[Ozling]

from sphere (forgot the white guy's name)

thatguy: Can you urinate in these things?

Samuel L Jackson: Sure you can, just let it go down your leg, but the real question is, would you really want to?

[musicman]

couple of my favourites from Bull Durham:

Annie Savoy: Oh, where are you going?
Crash Davis: After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out. Besides, uh, I don't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart.
Annie Savoy: What do you believe in, then?
Crash Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
[pause]
Crash Davis: Goodnight.
Annie Savoy: Oh my. Crash...

[musicman]

Annie Savoy: I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250... not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I've got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball -- now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.

[musicman]

John Winger: Lee Harvey! You are a madman! When you stole that cow? And your friend tried to make it with the cow? I wanna party with you.

Stripes 1981

[Sharni]

"It's a kind of magic"

Christopher Lambert ~ Highlander

[Ozling]

TS> But they're engaged.

Brody> Doesn't matter, can't happen.

TS> Why not, it's bound to come up.

Brody> it's impossible for lois to have superman's baby, do you think her phillopian tubes could handle his sperm? I garuntee you he blows a load like a shotgun through her back. What about her womb, you think it's strong enough to carry his child?

TS> Sure, why not?

Brody> He's an alien for chrissakes, his kryptonian biological make-up is enhanced by earth's yellow sun, if lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonderwoman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom... but that would kill'em.

Seen from Mallrats

[musicman]

Gabriel Cash: I don't know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R.!
Ray Tango: What's F.U.B.A.R.?
Gabriel Cash: Fucked-Up Beyond All Recognition!

tango & Cash

[musicman]

Major League:

Harry Doyle: Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.

[musicman]

Jake Taylor: I'm with the Indians
Woman at Party: Here, in Cleveland? I didn't know we still had a team!
Jake Taylor: Yeah, we've got uniforms and everything. It's really great.

[Salacious]

City Slickers
-Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

[musicman]

Foghorn Leghorn: I need, I say, I need a pointer, and that dog's got just the head for it. Pointed, that is.

[Salacious]

Dirty Dancing ~

Oh, come on, ladies! God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to shake 'em!

[musicman]

Frank Wirtanen: You love good, you hate evil, and you'd do anything for the sake of romance.

Mother Night 1996

[Steph]

Michael Moore: Why not use Gandhi's way? He didn't have guns, and he beat the British Empire.
John Nichols: I'm not... familiar with that.

[Steph]

Michael Moore: Well, here's my first question. Do you think it's kind of dangerous handing out guns at a bank?

[Steph]

Michael Moore: Now wait a minute... The Constitution says you've got the right to bear arms. What do you think 'arms' means?
John Nichols: Well it's not like these...
[waves his arms]
John Nichols: It means we ought to have handguns if we want to.
Michael Moore: What about nuclear weapons? Should you be able to have weapons-grade plutonium?
John Nichols: [pauses] ... Well I think that oughta be restricted.

[Steph]

John Nichols: There's a lot of wackos out there.

[Steph]

Michael Moore: Thank you for not shooting me.

[Steph]

Marilyn Manson: The two by-products of that whole tragedy were, violence in entertainment, and gun control. And how perfect that that was the two things that we were going to talk about with the upcoming election. And also, then we forgot about Monica Lewinsky and we forgot about, uh, the President was shooting bombs overseas, yet I'm a bad guy because I, well I sing some rock-and-roll songs, and who's a bigger influence, the President or Marilyn Manson? I'd like to think me, but I'm going to go with the President.
Michael Moore: Do you know that on the day of the Columbine massacre, the US dropped more bombs on Kosovo than any other day?
Marilyn Manson: I do know that, and I think that's really ironic, that nobody said 'well maybe the President had an influence on this violent behavior' Because that's not the way the media wants to take it and spin it, and turn it into fear, because then you're watching television, you're watching the news, you're being pumped full of fear, there's floods, there's AIDS, there's murder, cut to commercial, buy the Acura, buy the Colgate, if you have bad breath they're not going to talk to you, if you have pimples, the girl's not going to fuck you, and it's just this campaign of fear, and consumption, and that's what I think it's all based on, the whole idea of 'keep everyone afraid, and they'll consume.'

[Steph]

Chris Rock: You don't need no gun control. You know what you need? Bullet control. I think all bullets should cost $5000. You know why? If a bullet cost $5000 there'd be no more innocent bystanders.

[Steph]

Michael Moore: If you were to talk directly to the kids at Columbine or the people in that community, what would you say to them if they were here right now?
Marilyn Manson: I wouldn't say a single word to them, I would listen to what they have to say and that's what no one did.

[Steph]

about accusations that he was responsible for Columbine killings]
Marilyn Manson: I definitely can see why they would pick me. Because I think it's easy to throw me face on the TV, because in the end, I'm a poster boy for fear. Because I represent what everyone is afraid of, because I say and do whatever I want.

[Steph]

Michael Moore: In George Bush's America the poor were not a priority. And after September 11th correcting America's social problems took a back seat to fear, panic and a new set of priorities.
George W. Bush: [Archive speech] One way to express our unity is for Congress to set the military budget and the defense of the United States as the number one priority, and fully fund my request...

[Steph]

I feel pretty strongly about this movie :)

America had over 11,000 deaths by guns in 2002. Canada had less than 200.

[musicman]

breakfast club:

Andrew: Speak for yourself.
Bender: Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language.

[musicman]

John Bender: Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

[musicman]

Allison Reynolds: I'll do anything sexual. I don't need a million dollars to do it either.
Claire Standish: You're lying.
Allison Reynolds: I already have. I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac.
Claire Standish: Lie.
Brian Johnson: Are your parents aware of this?
Allison Reynolds: The only person I told was my shrink.
Andrew Clark: And what did he do when you told him?
Allison Reynolds: He nailed me.
Claire Standish: Very nice.
Allison Reynolds: I don't think that from a legal standpoint what he did can be construed as rape, since I paid him.
Claire Standish: He's an adult.
Allison Reynolds: Yeah, he's married too.
Claire Standish: Do you have any idea how completely gross that is?
Allison Reynolds: Well, the first few times...
Claire Standish: The first few times? You mean you did it more than once?
Allison Reynolds: Sure.
Claire Standish: Are you crazy?
Brian Johnson: Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing a shrink.
Allison Reynolds: Have you ever done it?
Claire Standish: I don't even have a psychiatrist.
Allison Reynolds: Have you ever done it with a normal person?
Claire Standish: Didn't we already cover this?
John Bender: You never answered the question.
Claire Standish: Look, I'm not going to discuss my private life with total strangers.
Allison Reynolds: It's kind of a double edged sword isn't it?
Claire Standish: A what?
Allison Reynolds: Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't, right?
Claire Standish: Wrong.
Allison Reynolds: Or are you a tease?
Andrew Clark: She's a tease.
Claire Standish: I'm sure. Why don't you just forget it.
Andrew Clark: Oh, you're a tease and you know it. All girls are teases.
John Bender: She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot.
Claire Standish: I don't do anything.
Allison Reynolds: That's why you're a tease.
Claire Standish: OK, let me ask you a few questions.
Allison Reynolds: I already told you everything.
Claire Standish: No. Doesn't it bother you to sleep around without being in love. I mean, don't you want any respect?
Allison Reynolds: I don't screw to get respect. That's the difference between you and me.
Claire Standish: It's not the only difference I hope.
John Bender: Face it, you're a tease.
Claire Standish: I'm NOT a tease.
John Bender: Sure you are. Sex is your weapon. You said it yourself. You use it to get respect.
Claire Standish: No, I never said that she twisted my words around.
John Bender: What do you use it for then?
Claire Standish: I don't use it period!
John Bender: Oh, are you medically frigid or is it psychological?
Claire Standish: I didn't mean it that way! You guys are putting words into my mouth.
John Bender: Well, if you'd just answer the question.
Brian Johnson: Why don't you just answer the question?
Andrew Clark: Be honest.
John Bender: No big deal.
Brian Johnson: Yeah answer it.
Andrew Clark: Answer the question, Claire.
John Bender: Talk to us. Every one: C'mon, answer the question. Come on. Answer it!
John Bender: C'mon, it's easy. It's only one question.
Claire Standish: NO I NEVER DID IT!
Allison Reynolds: I never did it either. I'm not a nymphomaniac. I'm a compulsive liar.

[musicman]

Warden Samuel Norton: I believe in two things: discipline and the Bible. Here you'll receive both. Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me. Welcome to Shawshank.

Shawshank Redemption

[musicman]

Andy Dufresne: If they ever try to trace any of those accounts, they're gonna end up chasing a figment of my imagination.
Red: Well, I'll be damned. Did I say you were good? Shit, you're a Rembrandt!
Andy Dufresne: Yeah. The funny thing is - on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook.

[musicman]

[Unpacking books]
Heywood: The Count of Monte Crisco...
Floyd: That's "Cristo" you idiot.
Heywood: ...by Alexandree Dumb-ass.
Andy Dufresne: "Dumas". Ever read it? You'll like that one Heywood, it's about a jailbreak.
Red: Jailbreak? Maybe we ought a file that one under "Educational" too!

[Eros]

"God, I haven't been fucked like that since grade school!"

Marla ~ Fight Club

[Eros]

"Can you blush?"

Wesley Snipes ~ Blade II

[Eros]

Henry Jones - "Henry...Jones...Junior"

Indy - "I like 'Indiana'"

Henry Jones - "We named the dog Indiana"

Indy - "I loved that dog"

Harrison Ford and Sean Connery ~ Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

[Eros]

Billy Bob - "I love that dog"

Mox - "I think it's a pig"

Billy Bob - "Yeah"

James VanDerbeek and 'Billy Bob' ~ Varsity Blues

[Eros]

"Was that a goat?"

Patrick Warburton ~ Big Trouble

[musicman]

Otter: Let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabbos.
Boon: Norma!
Otter: No. But you're getting warmer. Here's another: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!"
Boon: Marlene! You're gonna pork Marlene Desmond!
Otter: Pork?
Boon: You're gonna hump her brains out, aren't you?
Otter: Boon, I anticipate a deeply religious experience.

Animal House

[musicman]

Sally Albright: Is Harry bringing anybody to the wedding?
Marie: I don't think so.
Sally Albright: Is he seeing anybody?
Marie: He was seeing this anthropologist, but...
Sally Albright: What's she look like?
Marie: Thin. Pretty. Big tits. Your basic nightmare.

When Harry Met Sally

[musicman]

Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
Harry Burns: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.

[musicman]

Jess: You made a woman meow?

[musicman]

Sleepless in Seattle:

[Jay is helping Sam get back into the dating scene.]
Jay: Tiramisu
Sam Baldwin: What is "tiramisu"?
Jay: You'll find out.
Sam Baldwin: Well, what is it?
Jay: You'll see!
Sam Baldwin: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I'm not gonna know what it is!

[musicman]

Capt. Bart Mancuso: My Morse is so rusty, I could be sending him dimensions on playmate of the month.

Hunt For Red October

[musicman]

Capt. Bart Mancuso: Central Intelligence Agency... Now, there's a contradiction in terms.

[musicman]

Field Of Dreams:

Anni Kinsella: Hey, what if the Voice calls while you're gone?
Ray Kinsella: Take a message.

[musicman]

Terence Mann: I'm going to beat your head in with a crowbar until you go away!
Ray Kinsella: You can't do that!
Terence Mann: Oh no, there are no rules here.
[Advances with crowbar]
Ray Kinsella: But... but you're a pacifist!
Terence Mann: [Stops] Shit.

[Salacious]

Thelma and Louise

Thelma: I've had it up to my ass with sedate.

[Salacious]

Themla and Louise

Louise: You finally got laid properly, I'm so proud.

[musicman]

"you built a time machine......out of a delorean?" marty mcfly
Back to the future

[musicman]

Dr. Emmett Brown: If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour ... you're gonna see some serious shit.

[darogle]

From "Office Space" ~

Bob Slydell: What would you say ya do here?
Tom Smykowski: Well look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that?! What the hell is wrong with you people?!


Another from Office Space~

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jad. Nayanajaad.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it...until that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm...well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

[darogle]

From "Full Metal Jacket"~

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Pyle, you had best unfuck yourself and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up!


Private Cowboy: You know there's not a single horse in the entire country of Vietnam? There's definitely something wrong with that.


Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, tinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-standing!



Saigon Hooker: Hey, you got girlfriend in Vietnam? Me so horny. Me love you long time.

[darogle]

Dumb and Dumber:

Lloyd Christmas: When I met Mary, I got that old fashioned romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry Dunne: That's a special feeling.


Lloyd Christmas: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Harry Dunne: I was thinking the same thing.
Lloyd Christmas: That John Denver is full of shit, man.

[darogle]

From "Tombstone"~

Wyatt Earp: You gonna do somethin'? Or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?


Doc Holliday: It's true, you are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist.


Doc Holliday: It seems poker's just not your game, Ike. I know: let's have a spelling contest!
[cracks up laughing]


Doc Holliday: Why Kate, You're not wearing a bustle. How lewd.



Doc Holliday: In vino veritas.
Johnny Ringo: Age quod agis.
Doc Holliday: Credat Judaeus Apella, non ego.
Johnny Ringo: Iuventus stultorum magister.
Doc Holliday: In pace requiescat.
Doc Holliday: Look darlin'! That's Latin. It appears Johnny Ringo is an educated man. Now I really hate him!

[musicman]

Die Hard:

Agent Johnson: I'm Agent Johnson, this is Special Agent Johnson. No relation.

[musicman]

John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

[musicman]

Casablanca:

Rick Blaine: Here's looking at you, kid.

[musicman]

Rick Blaine: Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

[musicman]

[Last line]
Rick Blaine: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

[darogle]

History of the World, pt. 1:

King Louis: "It's good to be the king!"

[darogle]

Blazing Saddles:

Sheriff Bart: "excuse me while I whip this out!" (reaching into his pants...

[darogle]

Blazing Saddles:

The Governor: "pardon me, but the affairs of state, must....um...take precedence over the affairs of state!" (as he drops his pants and goes behind a curtain with his aide)

[darogle]

Airplane!:

Male Announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female Announcer: No, the white zone is for loading and unloading. There's no stopping in a red zone!
Male Announcer: Now don't start with your white zone shit again.

[darogle]

Airplane!:

Reporter: What kind of plane is it?
Johnny: Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with a red stripes, curtains at the windows, wheels, and it just looks like a big Tylenol!

[darogle]

American Pie 2:

Michelle's Friend: You are so sweet. He *is* special.
Michelle: He's my bitch.
______________________


Michelle: Now don't freak out I'm gonna do something to push your threshold!
Jim: Ow that's cold! What is that?
Michelle: I just shoved a trumpet in your ass! Aren't intsruments fun?

________________

Stifler: Holy shit dude! I found a dildo! Dildo! Dildo! Dildo! Big blue rubber dicks for everyone! The people demand rubber dicks!

________________

[darogle]

Van Wilder:

Taj: I would like very much to spend my remaining days here as your assistant.
Van Wilder: Okay, we're just going do a little word association. Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Milk.
Taj: Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred, but I hear "milk," I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.

________________

Van Wilder: You shouldn't take life to seriously. You'll never get out alive.

________________

Van Wilder: I know Ms. Pac-Man is special. She's fun. She's cute. She swallows....

________________

Van Wilder: All you need is scented candles, massage oil, and Barry White. Write that down.

[Steph]

I LOVED that movie!

[Steph]

Van Wilder: What is wrong with people today?
Hutch: [taking a hit from a bong] It's the internet, it fries their brain cells.

[musicman]

good call on Airplane Darogle - adding a few more....

Steve McCroskey: This fog is getting thicker!
Johnny: And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger!

[musicman]

[Thinking to himself.]
Ted Striker: I've got to concentrate...
[his thoughts echo]
Ted Striker: concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...

[musicman]

Airplane II

Simon: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet your captain, Captain Oveur.
Clarence Oveur: Gentlemen, welcome aboard.
Simon: Captain, your navigator, Mr. Unger, and your first officer, Mr. Dunn.
Clarence Oveur: Unger.
Unger: Oveur.
Dunn: Oveur.
Clarence Oveur: Dunn. Gentlemen, let's get to work.
Simon: Unger, didn't you serve under Oveur in the Air Force?
Unger: Not directly. Technically, Dunn was under Oveur and I was under Dunn.
Dunn: Yep.
Simon: So, Dunn, you were under Oveur and over Unger.
Unger: Yep.
Clarence Oveur: That's right. Dunn was over Unger and I was over Dunn.
Unger: So, you see, both Dunn and I were under Oveur, even though I was under Dunn.
Clarence Oveur: Dunn was over Unger, and I was over Dunn.

[musicman]

Vacation:

Clark: I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!

[musicman]

In Cousin Normy's backyard in the pouring rain]
Ellen Griswold: We can't leave Aunt Edna on the patio!
Clark: Would you prefer I slip her in the night deposit box at the funeral home?

[musicman]

Clark Griswald: Aw, there's Buckingham Palace, kids, that's where the Queen lives and works.
Audrey Griswald: What does she do?
Clark Griswald: She queens. And she vacuums.

[musicman]

Princess Bride for a few:

Vizzini: INCONCEIVABLE!!

[musicman]

Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

[musicman]

Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love -- you think this happens every day?

[musicman]

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.

[musicman]

Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

[musicman]

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Westley: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Westley: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.

[musicman]

Buttercup: We'll never survive!
Westley: Nonsense! You're only saying that because no one ever has.

[Salacious]

from Pulp Fiction:

[After a long pause in their conversation]
Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: Hate what?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences.

[Salacious]

from Chocolat:

Storyteller: Once upon a time there was a quiet little village in the French countryside - whose people believed in Tranquilité - Tranquility.

[Salacious]

from Chocolat:

Roux: I'll be back later to get that squeak out of your door. :slurp:

[Ando3]

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid:

Butch: "I couldn't do that. Could you do that? Why can they do it? Who are those guys???

[Eros]

For anyone interested...I found a translation of the conversation in Latin from Tombstone that was posted earlier...

http://www.dacc.cc.il.us/~jeff/tombstone-latin.html

[dancingrugger]

from "Chasing Amy"
Banky Edwards: All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dickin'

also
Alyssa: For you, to fuck is to penetrate. You're used to the more traditional definition -- you inside some girl you do, jackhammering away, not noticing that bored look in her eyes.
Banky Edwards: Hey, I always notice that bored look in their eyes.

aaaaand
Hooper: Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch. That's why he was always going around wearing that crown-looking hat...he was the king of queen Archie's world.

just one more ...
Alyssa: How bad could it have been?
Holden: Put it this way: have you ever heard a nun call an eight year-old boy a fucking cunt rag?

[dancingrugger]

from "Dazed and Confused"
Clint: I only came here to do two things tonight, Newton; drink some beer and kick some ass, looks like we're almost outta beer.

and
Cynthia: I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to somethin' else.

[dancingrugger]

from "Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas"
Narrator: We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like:
Raoul Duke: I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should drive.
Narrator: Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full with what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming:
Raoul Duke: Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?!
Dr. Gonzo: Did you say something?
Raoul Duke: Hm? Never mind. It's your turn to drive.
Narrator: No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.

Narrator: We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

Narrator: How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?

[dancingrugger]

I've gotten started now & i don't know if i'll be able to stop ....

[Eros]

from "Snatch"

Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.
Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!

[Eros]

Oh..and for some reason..I have the sudden urge to play with rubber duckies?!? ;)

[dancingrugger]

lol, careful, they squeak when ya squeeze em!

[musicman]

Pulp Fiction

Jules: Whoa... whoa... whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing.
Vincent: Not the same thing, but it's the same ballpark.
Jules: It ain't no fuckin' ballpark either. Look maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' a lady's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holiest of holies, ain't the same fuckin ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Foot massages don't mean shit.

[musicman]

Vincent: And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.
Jules: Then what do they call it?
Vincent: They call it a "Royale" with cheese.
Jules: A "Royale" with cheese! What do they call a Big Mac?
Vincent: A Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it "le Big-Mac".
Jules: "Le Big-Mac"! Ha ha ha ha! What do they call a Whopper?
Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King.

[musicman]

Scary Movie 3

Orpheus: [To Cindy] I believe this night, we will find...
La'Quesha: What are you still doing here?
Orpheus: Please La'Quesha, I'm prophesizing.
La'Quesha: Oh, I'm prophesizing my foot half way up your ass!

[musicman]

Big Lebowski

The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?

[dancingrugger]

From Dusk till Dawn

Seth: Did they look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are.

[dancingrugger]

Twelve Monkeys

James Cole: I am insane, and you are my insanity.

[dancingrugger]

also from Twelve monkeys

Jeffery: Sorry. Sorry. I got a little agitated. The thought of escape crossed my mind, and then suddenly - suddenly - suddenly I felt like bending the fucking bars back, ripping the goddamn window frames and eating them - yes, eating them! Leaping, leaping, leaping! Colonics for everyone! All right! You dumbasses. I'm a mental patient. I'm supposed to act out!



Jeffery: There's the television. It's all right there - all right there. Look, listen, kneel, pray. Commercials! We're not productive anymore. We don't make things anymore. It's all automated. What are we for then? We're consumers. Yeah. Okay, okay. Buy a lot of stuff, you're a good citizen. But if you don't buy a lot of stuff, if you don't, what are you then, I ask you? What? Mentally *ill*.

[dancingrugger]

Made

Ricky Slade: Here's 50 bucks, take this in case I get drunk and call you a bitch later.

[dancingrugger]

Old School

Mitch: Please be honest with me and tell me this is the first time.
Heidi: Well, do you want me to be honest or do you want me to tell you this is the first time?

Mitch: I wasn't looking for a girl like that.
Beanie: Well, Columbus wasn't looking for America, but that turned out to be pretty okay for everyone.

[Payton Crantor]

Ghostbusters

Dr. Peter Venkman:All right, this chick is TOAST! Okay sticks?
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: PULLED 'EM!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Heat 'em up!
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: SMOKIN'!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Bang 'em hard!
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: READY!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown

[musicman]

Robert G. Durant: [to Darkman] I knew you'd come after me. All I had to do was dangle the right bait in front of what's left of your nose.

[Payton Crantor]

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

Terminator: It was Katherine Brewster who reprogrammed me and sent me back through the time displacement field.
John Connor: Well where was I?
Terminator: I'm not authorized to answer your questions.
Kate Brewster: Where was he?
Terminator: He was dead.
John Connor: Oh, well that sucks.

[musicman]

Mona Lisa Smile

Katherine Watson: Come to class or I'll fail you.
Betty Warren: If you fail me, there will be consequences.
Katherine Watson: Are you threatening me?
Betty Warren: I'm educating you.
Katherine Watson: I thought that was my job.

[musicman]

American President:

[Ushering Sydney out of the White House after spending her first night there.]
President Andrew Shepherd: I'm sorry about this. We'll do it better next time.
Sydney Ellen Wade: Well, I'm no expert but I think we did it pretty good this time.

[musicman]

President Andrew Shepherd: The symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free.

[musicman]

Robin McCall: It's Christmas.
Lewis Rothschild: It's Christmas?
Leon Kodak: Yeah. You didn't get the memo?

[musicman]

Back to the Future:

George McFly: Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain.

[musicman]

Marty McFly: Why do you keep calling me Calvin?
Lorraine Baines: Calvin Klein? It's all over your underwear.

[Bestrafer Engel]

The man with the golden gun?

[musicman]

beverly hills cop:

Axel Foley: Don't you think I realize what's going on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don't you think I know that if I was some hotshot from out of town that pulled inside here and you guys made a reservation mistake, I'd be the first one to get a room and I'd be upstairs relaxing right now. But I'm not some hotshot from out of town, I'm a small reporter from "Rolling Stone" magazine that's in town to do an exclusive interview with Michael Jackson that's gonna be picked up by every major magazine in the country. I was gonna call the article "Michael Jackson Is Sitting On Top of the World," but now I think I might as well just call it "Michael Jackson Can Sit On Top of the World Just As Long As He Doesn't Sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel 'Cause There's No Niggers Allowed in There!"

[musicman]

Axel Foley: Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What's the fuckin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?

[musicman]

Detective Rosewood: Wow. You know, it says here that by the time the average American is fifty, he has five pounds of undigested red meat in his bowels.
Sergeant Taggart: Why are you telling me this? What makes you think I have any interest in that at all?
Detective Rosewood: Well, you eat a lot of red meat.

[musicman]

Jeffery: Todd is looking for you. He is really pissed. You know what he said? He said this is your worst fuck up ever. Personally, I don't think that's true.

[musicman]

Axel Foley: Billy, you don't have to be embarrassed if your dick gets hard. That's the whole object of this. Taggart's dick is hard but he won't let you know 'cause he's the boss. Boss' dick got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty so my dick can be hard.

[dancingrugger]

John Bender: Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. She sets the poodle down on the bar. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says ... oh Shit!!!

p.s. that has always annoyed me about that movie that they never finished the joke, although i'm sure its made up just for the movie anyway ...

[musicman]

from Old School:

Waiter: Love, it's a mother fucker, huh?"

[musicman]

pulp fiction:

Jules: Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I'm in a transitional period so I don't wanna kill you, I wanna help you. But I can't give you this case, because it don't belong to me.

[musicman]

Starsky: Do it, DO IT! DO IT!

[musicman]

Miss Mullins: Sorry to interrupt, Mrs. Lemmons said that she heard music coming from the classroom.
Dewey Finn: Uh oh, it looks like Mrs. Lemmons is on crack, right kids?

school of rock

[OziJuggalo]

Toughter then leather

Mike d : Waiter do you have Crabs
Waiter :Why yes sir
Mike d : well get the fuck away b4 you give them to me

The Crow

Eric draven just b4 he kills Tin tin

Victoms arn't we all

[jseal]

"I've got a bad feeling about this", Star Wars

[flutelady]

(man pondering suicide, talking to his pal)

"I can't drown myself"

"Why not?"

"Because I can't swim"


The Full Monty

[AZRedHot]

"Good talk, Russ."
National Lampoon's Vacation.

I use that one all the time after tough conversations.

[flutelady]

"Meatloaf, beatloaf... I hate meatloaf!"

Randy, the little brother in "A Christmas Story"

[Cassiopeia]

"That Hansel...he's so hot right now"


- Mugatu(Will Ferrell) from Zoolander

[musicman]

Old School:

Frank: We're going streaking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[musketeer]

"God has a hard one for marines" The drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket

[Aqua]

Well said, well spoken...

Chevy Chase, Seems Like Old Times

[kinx]

"Snakes...Why'd it have to be Snakes?"

Raiders of the Lost Ark

[Mercury_Maniac]

"You burned the food, the shade....the rum, yes the rum is gone, but why is the rum gone!"

-Pirates of the Carribbean

[musicman]

Stripes:

John Winger: Lee Harvey. You are a madman. When you stole that cow? And your friend tried to make it with the cow? I wanna party with you.

[sodaklostsoul]

The truth is a virtue.

So be it.

Both from Pump Up the Volume.

[musicman]

Mia: I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take ME out and do WHATEVER I WANTED. Now I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good.


Pulp Fiction

[musicman]

His Niece : We're dropping 2,000 feet!
The Great Man : It's all right, dear. Don't start worrying 'til we get down 1,999. The last foot is dangerous.

"never Give a sucker an even break" 1941

[musicman]

Charlie Brown : It's stupid to just sit here and admire that little red haired girl from a distance. It's stupid not to get up and go over and talk to her.
[stands up]
Charlie Brown : It's really stupid! It's just plain stupid; so why I don't I go over and talk to her?!
[sits down]
Charlie Brown : Because I'm stupid.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Charlie Brown : There's nothing like unrequited love to take all the flavor out of a peanut butter sandwich.


"you're in love charlie brown" tv movie 1967

[BIBI]

Mae West- I used to be Snow White....but I drifted
Good sex is like good bridge....if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

[Catch22]

Come and get me copper.

[hardhornyhubby]

Phone Rings, Stan picks it up

Stan Says "It sure is"
Stan Hangs Up

Ollie says "Who was that"
Stan Says "Just some Joker who said it's a long distance from Atlanta Georgia"

[hardhornyhubby]

Vot is your name

Don't tell him Pike


I know it's TV but that line from Dad's Army cracks me up

[hardhornyhubby]

looka at me ma i'm on top of the world (Jimmy C)