celticangel
12-11-2003, 06:46 PM
>Childrens science exams
>
>[These are real answers given...]
>
>Q: Name the four seasons.
>
>A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
>
>Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
>drink.
>
>A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
>pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
>
>Q: How is dew formed?
>
>A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
>
>Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
>
>A: Keep it in the cow.
>
>Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
>
>A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
>tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,
>and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
>
>Q: What are steroids?
>
>A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
>
>Q: What happens to your body as you age?
>
>A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
>
>Q : What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
>
>A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
>
>Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
>
>A: Premature death.
>
>Q: What is artificial insemination?
>
>A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
>
>Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g.,abdomen.)
>
>A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
>the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax
>contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the
>five bowels, A, E,
I,
>O and U.
>
>Q: What does "varicose" mean?
>
>A: Nearby.
>
>Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
>
>A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
>
>Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
>
>A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>[These are real answers given...]
>
>Q: Name the four seasons.
>
>A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
>
>Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
>drink.
>
>A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
>pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
>
>Q: How is dew formed?
>
>A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
>
>Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
>
>A: Keep it in the cow.
>
>Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
>
>A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
>tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,
>and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
>
>Q: What are steroids?
>
>A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
>
>Q: What happens to your body as you age?
>
>A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
>
>Q : What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
>
>A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
>
>Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
>
>A: Premature death.
>
>Q: What is artificial insemination?
>
>A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
>
>Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g.,abdomen.)
>
>A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
>the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax
>contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the
>five bowels, A, E,
I,
>O and U.
>
>Q: What does "varicose" mean?
>
>A: Nearby.
>
>Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
>
>A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
>
>Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
>
>A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------