;)

[Lilith]

He laid her on the table , so white and clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat, he rubbed her here and there,
He touched her neck and then her breast, and drooliing felt her thigh,
The slit was wet and all was set .... he gave a joyous cry,
The hole was wide, he looked inside -- all was wet and murky,
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms.....
... and then he stuffed the turkey !


:D

[Lilith]

T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed
He cussed at the elves and threw down his list
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have good mind to scrap the whole works

I've busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money
And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible ...Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them
They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!

If you think that's bad...just picture this
Try holding those brats...with their pants full of piss
They pull on my nose - they grab at my beard
And if I don't smile..the parents think I'm weird

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment
There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason
I found me a big titted blonde and I'm going SOUTH for the season!!

[lakritze]

LSHIPMP..........

[Eros]

Originally posted by lakritze
LSHIPMP..........


Huh?

[jennaflower]

Laughing so hard I pissed my pants...

or atleast that is my guess.. LOL

[Scarecrow]

So Santas going to Florida to see Lil this Xmas?

[dicksbro]

I wonder if he'll prefer the slap or the tickle?

ROTFLMAO, Lilith.

[Teddy Bear]

LOL!!!!

Thanks Lilith.... they're great and just what I needed this morning.

:D :D

[nikki1979]

hehhehehehehe not thats cute lol i dont blame sata one bit either LOL

~nikki

[cowgirltease]

LMAO!!!! loved it!:D

[babybunny]

:eek: I liked the turkey one...Forget Santa if he hasnt got any money! :D

[Oldfart]

Top stuff Lil

BTW, who did Vixen catch AIDS from?

Sorry, yes, I forgot, Bambi was a boy.

[lakritze]

BINGO......Jennaflower.....You win first prize.......

[Lovediva]

'Twas the night before Christmas,

and God it was neat


The kids were both gone,

and my wife was in heat


The doors were all bolted,

and the phone off the hook


It was time for some nooky,

by hook or by crook.


Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude

Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube


When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,

That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.


Up to the window I sprang like an elf,

Tore back the shade while she played with herself.


The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,

Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.


When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.


With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,

A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.


Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.

And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.


Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole,

whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,

Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.


Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,

Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.


They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,

Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.


And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,

As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.


I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,

When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.


His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,

He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.


That was some brothel, he said with a smile,

The reindeer are pooped,

and I'll just stay here awhile.


He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,

Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.


I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,

The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.


Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,

But his toys were all gone,

and some new things were packed.


The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,

The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.


A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,

And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.


A bra without nipples, a penis extension,

And several other things that

I shouldn't even mention.


A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,

A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.


This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,

So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split.


He filled every stocking and then took his leave,

With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.


He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,

Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.


In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,

Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!


The sleigh was near gone when we

heard Santa shout,

The best thing about sex is that it

never wears out!:santa:

[Porn_king]

lol