celticangel
11-24-2003, 04:54 PM
>> 7 reasons not to mess with a child
>>
>>
>>
>> A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
>>
>> The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
>>
>> whale to swallow a human because even though it was
>>
>> a very large mammal its throat was very small.
>>
>> The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
>>
>> whale.
>>
>> Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
>>
>> not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
>>
>> The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask
>>
>> Jonah".
>>
>> The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
>>
>> The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
>>
>> of children while they were drawing. She would
>>
>> occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
>>
>> As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, > > >
>>she asked whatthe drawing was.
>>
>> The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
>>
>> The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what
>>
>> God looks like."
>>
>> Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
>>
>> drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
>>
>> Commandments with her five and six year olds.
>>
>> After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
>>
>> Father and thy Mother, she asked,
>>
>> "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
>>
>> treat our brothers and sisters?"
>>
>> Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of
>>
>> a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill..."
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
>>
>> mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly
>>
>> noticed that her mother had several strands of white
>>
>> hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
>>
>> She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
>>
>> "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
>>
>> Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
>>
>> something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of
>>
>> my hairs turns white."
>>
>> The little girl thought about this revelation for a while > > >
>>and then said,"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's
>>
>> hairs are white?"
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> The children had all been photographed, and the
>>
>> teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a
>>
>> copy of the group picture.
>>
>> "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you > > > are
>>all grown upand say,
>>
>> 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's
>>
>> Michael, He's a doctor.'
>>
>> A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
>>
>> "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
>>
>> The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
>>
>> whale to swallow a human because even though it was
>>
>> a very large mammal its throat was very small.
>>
>> The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
>>
>> whale.
>>
>> Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
>>
>> not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
>>
>> The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask
>>
>> Jonah".
>>
>> The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
>>
>> The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
>>
>> of children while they were drawing. She would
>>
>> occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
>>
>> As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, > > >
>>she asked whatthe drawing was.
>>
>> The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
>>
>> The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what
>>
>> God looks like."
>>
>> Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
>>
>> drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
>>
>> Commandments with her five and six year olds.
>>
>> After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
>>
>> Father and thy Mother, she asked,
>>
>> "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
>>
>> treat our brothers and sisters?"
>>
>> Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of
>>
>> a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill..."
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
>>
>> mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly
>>
>> noticed that her mother had several strands of white
>>
>> hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
>>
>> She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
>>
>> "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
>>
>> Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
>>
>> something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of
>>
>> my hairs turns white."
>>
>> The little girl thought about this revelation for a while > > >
>>and then said,"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's
>>
>> hairs are white?"
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> The children had all been photographed, and the
>>
>> teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a
>>
>> copy of the group picture.
>>
>> "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you > > > are
>>all grown upand say,
>>
>> 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's
>>
>> Michael, He's a doctor.'
>>
>> A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
>>
>> "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>