Stevo
11-17-2003, 11:24 AM
It's best to start cringing before you even read them.
Bizarre Accidents Suffered by Blokes...
A man turned up at a hospital wearing an overcoat, and with blood dripping down his leg. When he removed the coat, the doctor saw he had a geranium inserted in his penis. The man had got the flower in without any difficulty, but when he tried to remove it, the hairs on the stem of the flower had dug into the urethra and ripped it to shreds.
A policeman in Staffordshire returned home from a night shift to his wife preparing breakfast. For some unknown reason, he wrapped a slice of bread around his penis, at which point the dog leapt up and took a bite out of it. The man needed cosmetic surgery to restore the damage.
A 34-year old New Yorker injected a cocaine solution into his penis to heighten his sexual pleasure. After enjoying intercourse with his girlfriend on not one but two occasions, he noticed that his erection was still at its full glory. Having struggled to sleep through the night he woke up to find his boner still standing proud, but due to him worrying about the police finding out about his possession, and indeed the use of an illegal substance, he decided against visiting his doctor. However after three days of enduring headaches and nausea, caused by the constant trouser swelling, he went to the hospital in search of help. He was admitted immediately and referred to a specialist who diagnosed lack of oxygen to vital bloodstream's in his body, as the cause of his sickness. He was given numerous drugs and antibiotics to combat the swelling, but shortly afterwards developed blood clots in various parts of his body with gangrene setting in. As a
result he lost both legs, nine fingers and his penis.
And finally you may want to grit your teeth before you read this !!
When a mate was studying in Ireland, he took up rugby. As his first season wore on, the lads and him were eventually scheduled to play a team which had a reputation for violent play. Considering that they weren't the most talented outfit to have ever taken the field, they decided to accept the challenge with a "do or die" attitude, hoping things would eventually swing their way. They didn't, and to make matters worse their star player dislocated his hip after a particularly ferocious tackle. He was clearly in a lot of pain, so they all stood back to allow the medic to, in one swift movement, slot the hip back into its socket. Then
Alan began a long blood curdling scream. To their horror, they realised that one of his testicles had also been jammed into the socket and was now firmly held in place by the hip. Incidentally, he also managed to rip a vocal chord with his screaming...
:eek: :eek: :eek:
Bizarre Accidents Suffered by Blokes...
A man turned up at a hospital wearing an overcoat, and with blood dripping down his leg. When he removed the coat, the doctor saw he had a geranium inserted in his penis. The man had got the flower in without any difficulty, but when he tried to remove it, the hairs on the stem of the flower had dug into the urethra and ripped it to shreds.
A policeman in Staffordshire returned home from a night shift to his wife preparing breakfast. For some unknown reason, he wrapped a slice of bread around his penis, at which point the dog leapt up and took a bite out of it. The man needed cosmetic surgery to restore the damage.
A 34-year old New Yorker injected a cocaine solution into his penis to heighten his sexual pleasure. After enjoying intercourse with his girlfriend on not one but two occasions, he noticed that his erection was still at its full glory. Having struggled to sleep through the night he woke up to find his boner still standing proud, but due to him worrying about the police finding out about his possession, and indeed the use of an illegal substance, he decided against visiting his doctor. However after three days of enduring headaches and nausea, caused by the constant trouser swelling, he went to the hospital in search of help. He was admitted immediately and referred to a specialist who diagnosed lack of oxygen to vital bloodstream's in his body, as the cause of his sickness. He was given numerous drugs and antibiotics to combat the swelling, but shortly afterwards developed blood clots in various parts of his body with gangrene setting in. As a
result he lost both legs, nine fingers and his penis.
And finally you may want to grit your teeth before you read this !!
When a mate was studying in Ireland, he took up rugby. As his first season wore on, the lads and him were eventually scheduled to play a team which had a reputation for violent play. Considering that they weren't the most talented outfit to have ever taken the field, they decided to accept the challenge with a "do or die" attitude, hoping things would eventually swing their way. They didn't, and to make matters worse their star player dislocated his hip after a particularly ferocious tackle. He was clearly in a lot of pain, so they all stood back to allow the medic to, in one swift movement, slot the hip back into its socket. Then
Alan began a long blood curdling scream. To their horror, they realised that one of his testicles had also been jammed into the socket and was now firmly held in place by the hip. Incidentally, he also managed to rip a vocal chord with his screaming...
:eek: :eek: :eek: