Business trip

[gibson]

An associate is coming in town next week. We haven't seen eachother for a long while. I think her and I are extremely attracted to one another, but I'm not sure. We are both married, but when we talk, we appear much closer than business associates, or even good friends. How can I tell what's on her mind, if anything? She has taken all my advice on flights, hotel, and wants me to pick her up vs. choosing a rental.

[Lilith]

Well that is a toughie. First you have to decide if it's worth risking what you have marriage and family wise. Then if you decide it is, you just need to look for the usual clues. She will find excuses to have her body make contact with yours, she will look more directly at you or into your eyes. If you believe the pheromone theory then your body will naturally react if she gives off sexual scents and signals, you will just know! Of course if it were me and I had decided you were to be my victim, you'd know, I've never been accused of being subtle:p

[gibson]

Well there's more. She hasn't been married too long. And she doesn't seem to ever talk about him. I almost think see thinks it was time to tie the knot. So would she wait for a sign from me first, or not necessarily?

[jennaflower]

gibson...

Have you considered being upfront and honest about it? Pick her up from the airport... in conversation bring up the topic... explain to her that you are attracted to her.. and that you "think" that her signals show that she is to... but that you don't want to jump to any conclusions and that you need her input before either 1) making a huge mistake and making yourself look like an ass professionally 2) missing out on something that you would really like to explore...

Just my 2 cents.. but an open honest approach might be exactly what is necessary for this particular situation.

Good Luck

[Lilith]

excellent advice Jenna!

[jennaflower]

Thanks Lilith.. once and awhile... I feel worthy. LOL

[gibson]

I really don't know how I could bring up the topic in conversation, and talk about it. If I'm totally wrong....looking like an ass would getting off easy!

[jennaflower]

gibson..

I didn't intend to make it sound easy... of course bringing up the subject is going to be difficult... but doing so in advance will really lessen the odds of you coming off like a complete ass. By being honest and upfront about your conception of her being just as interested, you come off like a sensitive guy who doesn't want to do anything that might offend her...

A suggestion for bringing up the conversation... after picking her up at the airport... after all the pleasantries are done... try to start with " I have had something on my mind that I have wanted to discuss with you. For sometime now, I have begun to look at our working relationship differently........... etc..." and go from there....

I assure you that she will respect you more for being a sensitive caring guy.... and if by some chance you have read her wrong... she will be less likely to hold it against you...

Just my thoughts... I wish you well on this...

[Wildeye]

Gibson

You cannot get better advice than this and yeah it takes guts, but it is better than getting done for harassment ?

Or just destroying a good relationship?

Wildeye

PS Good luck

[Grumble]

I reckon Jenna has given the best possible advice.

My marriage has ended and I am single again and feel as inept as I did in my dating years.

I do however have much better self esteem and I have the guts to ask if I am attracted to the lady and thinks she is in me. It has not turned out to be embarrassing at all and has actually made things a lot less complicated.

[LixyChick]

Welcum to Pixies gibson!

Great advice jenna!

It doesn't have to come out as harassment. Just be honest and state your case!

"________ (insert her name), I've been thinking about something for a while now....and if I'm way off base, please say so......but I have to be honest with you. Whenever we are together I get the feeling that there is an attraction between us that could be more than just friends or business associates. Am I wrong in thinking so?"

Now, the ball is in her court.......and you've put in all the disclaimers and you've shown your sincerity in not wanting to offend her and you've proven you are up front and honest to boot! There is no possible way you could end up looking like an ass after putting that out there! If she agrees.....yes, there is an attraction of the more intimate kind......well, now ya know! And if she disagrees.....no, there is no attraction on her part and she's sorry to have mislead you.....well, then you just appologize again in misreading her feelings and tell her that you hope there is no harm done but that you do enjoy her company and like doing business with her and that you had to ask to make sure her intentions weren't being ignored or misconstrued!

It's truly that simple! Take the mature, honest route and you'll never go wrong!