Manners Maketh Man

[Vigil]

I was disappointed to see someone new being insulted for raising a perfectly reasonable point.

This behaviour not only lowers the quality of this site, but as in this case stops people being able to have a free and open discussion about difficult issues.

No-one can win an argument if the topic isn't discussed and therefore taboos will remain swept under the carpet.

Men like me have benefited from open discussion about date rape, domestic violence, child abuse and incest. When we see the issue, we become allies of those who suffer, and will not be perpetrators through ignorance of the harm we can cause.

Incidentally, would an incest story be any less erotic as a simple boy/girl encounter? The waters are easily muddied and some people like to do this to cover their tracks as we have seen on other taboo subjects.

Just a thought.

[Teddy Bear]

Vigil,

I think it wasn't so much an issue over the topic that was questioned but how it was presented. It started right out with misinformation about the move Pixies went through. The insulting tone of the new comers post set people on edge. Once the ball started rolling it gained momentum and then mob mentality took over. Everyone charged in defending Pixies Place itself, not just the incest issue. I was sorry for the way I responded at first and later apologized.

In a way we should be proud that we have such staunch supporters of our 'family'. We may have gone about it the wrong way but we all meant well. I do not think the thread should have been locked or pulled off the board. I think we need to be careful with our powers of censorship. Or we'll be pulling every thread that stirs up a little controversy and micro-managing the site. We've had threads on free speech and banned books and the censoring of the boards worries me. Its like 'be careful what you say or you to will be pulled'..... in fact I'll be surprised if this isn't.

As a suggestion, could a new section be made for things such as this. Anything political or otherwise controversial could be put in there. Then our sensitive members could avoid having thier feathers ruffled. Call it 'The Hot Spot' or 'Politics 101' or 'How to insult people in 1000 words or less.' LOL -- no scrap the last one. But lets not sweep things under the rug. Gonna end up with a pretty lumpy rug.

ok -- sorry for going on so. I'm done.
teddy :)

[Lovediva]

Originally posted by Teddy Bear
Call it 'The Hot Spot' or 'Politics 101' or 'How to insult people in 1000 words or less.' LOL -- no scrap the last one. But lets not sweep things under the rug. Gonna end up with a pretty lumpy rug.


teddy :)

Now there is a thought!

[Lilith]

There are many extenuating circumstances regarding the thread that was closed. Things that I am not at liberty discuss. There will be times that you see threads closed or deleted. There always has been so you need to be aware of that. What I love is that each of you have an opinion as to whether or not it's appropriate to remove this thread or that, some even saying it's ok to delete before someone responds but not once someone has. Everyone thinks their view on this is correct. Frankly this is not a forum that has typically dealt with controversial topics. It's a friendly, no flame, moderated forum. I have considered starting a forum for more controversial topics but I have seen how those forums leak into all the others at other sites.

Some people are reacting sharply to a current wave of negativity that seems to be sweeping the boards. I certainly can understand how they feel. I do not come here for heated discussions and debates. However, the best way to make something cease is to not respond to it period.

There are many forums set up to specialize in controversial subjects such as politics, religion, global policies etc. This is a forum that is attached to a site that specializes in erotic stories. There are many places on the web that can quench your thirst for debate. The peope who click the button to enter the forum are clicking it because it is associated with sex.

I like to think of Pixies as the neighborhood bar people pop into after work (where everyone is naked:D). Occasionally the discussions become controversial or heated but in general that is not why the 14,000+ members come here. In general there is usually not more than 15-20 of you who regularly participate when given a controversial thread to sink your teeth into. As a moderator I have to think about all 14,000+. Yes your thoughts and feelings are important but so is everyone elses.

When I saw the title of this thread it immediately made me think about manners. I would not go to my grandmother's quilting circle and give a lecture on motorcycle maintenance. Not that is it wrong to do, just that it is not appropriate for that crowd. That is not what that group came to experience.

[Vigil]

I was one of the worst offenders at taking offence to what I felt was an insulting thread when I was a younger Pixie.

All I ask is that we try to remain civil even when we are insulted by a post. You can be very cutting without having to be rude.

I enjoy the difficult discussions - and sex has many difficult areas to discuss.

I found a good way to remember.

[Lovediva]

I can untie that thing using only my mouth.

[PantyFanatic]

As much as it pains me, I agree with Lilith on this for the most part. We all came here originally, and still do, to enjoy the adult sexuality. (we do have very different concepts on the meaning of numbers:rolleyes: )
….The insulting tone of the new comers post set people on edge. Once the ball started rolling it gained momentum and then mob mentality took over. Everyone charged in defending Pixies Place itself, not just the incest issue. I was sorry for the way I responded at first and later apologized…..
I readily admit that when a stranger walks into my home and shits on the floor before saying hello, I become very concerned and not very friendly until I feel I’ve done something to get the situation under control. And I’ll help him back OUT the door before I look in his pocket to see if he brought me a candy bar.:mad: I’m working on the sorry and apologizing part, but I think Teddy Bear’s comments are well thought and stated.
….I think we need to be careful with our powers of censorship. Or we'll be pulling every thread that stirs up a little controversy and micro-managing the site. We've had threads on free speech and banned books and the censoring of the boards worries me…..
It’s not unlike the power of the government to me. When I feel I’m being protected, they don’t have enough power. When I think it may be used against me, they have too much.

[WildIrish]

Originally posted by pantyfanatic
I readily admit that when a stranger walks into my home and shits on the floor before saying hello, I become very concerned and not very friendly until I feel I’ve done something to get the situation under control. And I’ll help him back OUT the door before I look in his pocket to see if he brought me a candy bar.:mad:


Does this mean that if we say hello BEFORE crapping on your floor you will then check our pockets for candy? :D

[Lovediva]

I don't carry my candy bar in my pocket. Your SOL PF!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!

[Vigil]

Originally posted by Lovediva
I can untie that thing using only my mouth.

You're welcome to anytime gorgeous; so long as you take responsibility for any subsequent loss of memory!

[PantyFanatic]

Originally posted by WildIrish
Does this mean that if we say hello BEFORE crapping on your floor you will then check our pockets for candy? :D
I may only check under your skirt for silky panties.:)

[WildIrish]

Originally posted by pantyfanatic
I may only check under your skirt for silky panties.:)


You might be suprised by what you find! lmao

[PantyFanatic]

OMG It sounds like I might be horrified. :eek:


.... not to mention the destruction of my libido.:(

[Steph]

Originally posted by Vigil
I was disappointed to see someone new being insulted for raising a perfectly reasonable point.

I respectfully disagree. The person in question seemed to invite trouble by talking about problems with previous chat incarnations. I don't know anything about the previous chat room but it seemed it had nothing to do with the question about incest.

I regretfully say, <sigh> I think PF said it best with his analogy about someone defecating in his house before saying hello.

I've been around the Internet block and know this is one of the most well-mannered places on the 'net.

[Booger]

Now if we could just house trian you steph
but something tells me PF wouldn't mind if you shit on his floor

[Oldfart]

Diva, reminds me of a Kit-Kat I once saw.

Back to the fun bits?

[BIBI]

Manners maketh woman too!!!


........and she did't appear to have any ;)

[lakritze]

I want to go on record by saying that I am against having a special forum made for the controversial topics to be discussed.We already have one marked CHAT in which everything sould be talked about amoung grown adults.If someone sees that a topic is political or "taboo" in nature and you don't wish to get involed,then skip to the next one.There is no need to make anybody feel insulted or hurt at Pixies and for the most part I see everyone acting in a friendly manor which makes me happy and proud to be part of the family.It stands to reason that everyone will bring topics here that they feel are of importance or interest to others for discussion.If handled in the right way,everyone can benifit.