What is the deal??

[paprclphd]

I have a problem that I desperately need some help solving. I have a very special person in my life that has been with me for about 2 years. We usually have an amazing sex life, I really don't feel like I could ask for more. The problem is that sometimes he doesn't want to go down on me because his "stomach hurts". I simply don't understand it. I give him head all the time, whether I am tired, hungry, upset stomach, whatever. I might just do it to get things started and we might not finish like that - but I give him head for at least 30 minutes (and I am talking good good head). He says I give the best head job in the world and I know he really means it. He gets so much enjoyment out of it. The deal is, I go down on him so much and I am not getting the favor returned. We talk about it and I communicate with him what I want him to do to me and he just doesn't.

Last night we are about to go to bed and I decide that I feel a little frisky. Keep in mind that it has been about 4 days since he has been down on me and I have given him head 6 times already this week, three of those times he cummed all over my face and in my mouth, the other three times lead to sex. I start messing with him and ask him to go down on me. He tells me no, his "stomach hurts" but, if I was interested I could go down on him and then he would see how he feels. So I went down, and we both thorougly enjoyed it. When I am done I get ready for my treat and ------ NOTHING!!!! What gives???

I guess the question is -
Do any other of you pixie men have this problem?
What do you do pixie women when you want it to make your man do it?
What is the freakin' secret to getting it when I want it?
Is the "stomach hurting thing" ligit or do ya'll feel there is some other underlying reason?

Please help - any advice is appreciated. I am to the end of my rope with it!!!

[PantyFanatic]

Sit further up on his chest.:lust:






(it always works for me);)

[Lilith]

Well you have to ask him seriously why he does not like it. If you can't trust him to give an honest answer that you believe, then there are worse problems than lack of licking going on. It is certainly possible his stomach hurts but he could also be lazy or be trying to save your feelings. Talk to him about it in a non-confrontational way NOT when you are having sex, or in the bedroom etc.

[Steph]

In my experience, it seems men are more willing to receive than give orally. They can also be dodgy with talking about. A discussion is in order, I'm afraid. On the plus side, it could open up the lines of communication for other things, too.

[paprclphd]

Thanks guys for all of your advice. I think I will try a "discussion" first, but the next step is to grab his head and make him do it!! LOL! Thanks again, I knew this would be the place to go!

[WildIrish]

Give him a Tums and put that man to work!

[LixyChick]

I just found this thread and all the advice above is great! LMFAO@PF and WI, as a matter of fact!

However, I had some thoughts that weren't mentioned and I beg you hun.....please don't take these things the wrong way. I am truly trying to help you get some insight!

1) Does your s/o's stomach bother him (that he has mentioned out loud) on any other occasion when sex isn't involved? What I mean is....does this "stomach ache" only ever come about just after you ask for or indicate that you'd like him to perform oral on you? If he gets stomach aches a lot.....he should see a doctor about them. They could be a warning of ulcers.....or a number of other medical problems. But, if it's ONLY when oral is involved.....you have to discuss this with him out of the situation!

2) Have you ever asked him.....out of a sexual situation.....if he likes or dislikes performing oral?

3) Do you have (or could you have had) a slight yeast infection that may be causing an odor that you cannot detect? Are you comfortable enough with your s/o to ask him if he dislikes something upon performing oral on you...such as an odor, a discharge...etc.? If you don't ask....he might never tell you just to spare your feelings. And if it is an odor that is the cause....see a doctor and he can cure that in no time!

And please keep in mind.....there are some men who just don't like doing it.....for whatever reason! But, I think you need an explaination from him to set your mind at ease. Talk to him.......ask questions and be sure to let him know that he can be honest and you won't get angry with his answers (if that is indeed true).

Good luck hun....and keep us posted!

[Cobalt]

I totaly love it, would do it all the time if I could. Would be nice to get the favor returned also. When I do it I don,t quit untill she just can't stand it anymore, and needs my hard cock in her.

[jennaflower]

seems to me.... like there is tooo much counting and keeping score going on... sorry.. just an observation... but when someone is keeping track of how many times they pleasure their partner in a particular way... and keep track of how many times their partner FAILS to return the "favor"... it SCREAMS TROUBLE!!!

Maybe you need to consider moving on and finding someone WILLING to take care of your needs.... rather than someone who seems to come up with plenty of reasons not to... yet seems to be more than happy to continue being on the receiving end of things..

Life is way to short.......... find happiness...

[Casperr]

It sounds to me like he just generally doesn't like going down - it doesn't seem to be specifically you or anything about your relationship. I think he's just one of the "I don't go down" guys.

I would think very carefully about dumping someone just because they don't go down, as Jenna suggested - there's more to a great relationship than just oral sex!
And I think the 'score keeping' was purely as an example, rather than a tally kept on the bedside table....

In short, I'd suggest seeing if there are other ways he could pleasure you - mutual masturbation springs to mind. And, yes, as has been said - talk to him! It can never hurt!

CasperTG

[BigBear57]

There's always the add a a treat method. Spraying a little whipped creme or adding a dab of chocolate to it. Who knows? Maybe see if he'll fish a Tums out. LOL Truthfully, I'd think the talking is the best thing immediately but if he shys away from talking about it then... like Casper said, he just may be one of "those". Although, I don't understand why anyone wouldn't love to go there. :p

[paprclphd]

First of all - thank you EVERYONE for your insight and advice. It is so helpful to hear what other people think about your situation in order to be able to solve it in the best way possible. I really appreciate the kind words and thoughts.

Perhaps I should give an update! The first night that we went home after I posted this thread I had a talk with my SO. Yes, he does have stomach problems quite often and is on medication, perhaps I should have taken that into consideration - but I just wanted to be pleasured. There is more to our relationship than oral sex, and there is no "bedside tally". I was purely using numbers as an example. We talked extensively about why he wasn't "going down", because it is something that he doesn't mind doing - just doesn't do it often. He basically told me that sometimes his stomach hurts and eating pussy is just not at the top of the menu. I understand that, to a point, and I made him aware of the fact that I had needs and that my needs needed to be taken care of. He asked if there was something else that we could do on the days that his stomach hurts that would alllow me to have as much pleasure. I was impressed by that, and that idea let me know that he does care about pleasing me and maybe sometimes his stomach just hurts and I should get over it.

So.... we will see how this goes for a little while. Thanks again for all of ya'lls insight and I will definately keep everyone posted!!

;)

[LixyChick]

Glad to hear that the lines of communication are open and that your s/o is a loving and willing participant....especially in finding other ways to satisfy you both! It shows a loving and nurturing relationship.......and that you are not doomed!

I hope all will be well with his stomach problems.......and I wish you both happiness!