No orgasm... WHY!?!?

[racevixen]

I'm completely lost. I masturbate. I give myself orgasms easily. So, I know I am capable of them. When I have sex with my man I can't orgasm. We tell eachother what we like, how we like it, but what I do to get myself off, it doesn't seem to work with him. I can tell he too is getting frustrated. I have tried masturbating with him, when I feel like I am ready to cum he penetrates me but it never comes. I am VERY VERY VERY frustrated. Does anyone have any tips? I want him to know, with proof, not just by me saying it, that I enjoy being with him.

[jennaflower]

racevixen...

First...... RELAX :) Seems like you are concentrating on the icing.. and not the cake. :( Just my opinion..

Secondly... and this might sound completely stupid... but you are relatively YOUNG... women (in general) are not blessed the the "easy" mechanics that a man has when it comes to the ability of having an orgasm. For the most part.. for a man.. a little stimulation goes along way and it doesn't take them any amount of experience to achieve orgasm.. whether alone or with a partner. Women are all together a different breed.... there are far more components to a womans ability to achieve orgasm. I can tell you that making "orgasm" the number one priority is only going to serve to delay it.

In my opinion, the key to an orgasm for a woman (solo or with a partner) is not only her personal acceptance of her desires and the knowledge that comes with experience.... but her ability to let her self go. It is a matter of trust.. and a feeling of complete acceptance from/towards your partner... and the absence of shame :)

Good luck... with experience the orgasms will cum :)

[Steph]

jennaflower has offered you soooooo much good advice.

I only started cumming during sex last year when I was 28.

Like the adage says, "It's not the destination, it's the journey." If you're worried about the end result, you're not going to get there. Chillax :D

[GingerV]

Sometimes the sort of change up you describe (working myself up to the edge and then changing to some other sort of stimulation) will actually delay my orgasm. Great way to tease me, sometimes ;).

Jenna said it, relax, enjoy the exploration, it doesn't happen for everyone right away. If you're stressed over whether or not your going to have one, or if you're doing it right, you're probably not going to. It's also not unusual for women not to orgasm from vaginal penetration. You may need clitoral stimulation while he's in you, or to take turns...him getting you off manually or orally before or after (or both!) full on sex.

In any case, enjoy what you do have...and please don't let your partner feel inadequate just because you haven't managed to cum rergularly with him yet. Male egos are delicate things.

[Incubus255]

lol yes our egos are very very fragile , guys have feelings too ya big meanies *sniffles* lmao, ok ok enough of my ranting, seirously though,

You have the same problem I do, your worring far to much about trying to cum,really ya just gotta learn to relax and go with the flow, lol alot easier said then done eh? but still doesn't change the fact that it works lol or so I"m told I'll let ya know when I actually manage to stop being so uptight for once lol