To Propagate or not to propagate

[osuche]

For all of those ladies who have children, how did you know when you were ready? And how did you discuss your decision with your SO?

One issue between my SO and me is children. He wants them soon and I don't feel ready...nor do I know *when* I will be ready. He doesn't want to get married until I commit to having kids, and I don't know that I can confidently do so.

A little about me...27 yrs old, been working for 6 years, professional job (one of my key concerns is giving up my career), and been with my SO for almost 9 years.


Ladies...any wisdom to share?

[Steph]

*BUMP*

osuche, we're going through the same thing. I'm 29 and HIS clock is bloody ticking. I'm not ready yet and we've settled on it being within three years or so . . . we'll see. I want to get a better job and he can stay home with the young'uns. You're young, relax and take it easy (that's my advice for me, anyway) :)

[osuche]

Steph-- same issue here. I want to make VP before I have kids and I have no idea when it will happen. Fiance worries that the lure of power will be too seductive and that I won't want to have them. Not sure I totally disagree...except that I think someday I will want them.

I would relax, but he won't marry me until he is confiodent that I am willing and eminently ready. Not sure how to deal with this issue...is it possible to confidently reassure him???

[Teddy Bear]

I really wish I had some insightful answer to give you both but I don't..... big help huh?!? I just knew I wanted kids, acutally with my SO & I it was him who wasn't all that sure about having them.

I do know 2 families where the wife works full time at her career. In one family the husband says home with the kids full time. In the 2nd, a same sex marriage, one is full time employed, the other works part time just to keep her foot in the door so she can go back when thier 2 kids are in school.

Maybe talk with your SO & see if he'd be willing/able to stay with the children either full or part time while you continue working. I think your children would benifit from having a happy, fullfilled Mom & not one that felt forced to stay home. Who knows once you've got them you may decide to stay home after all.

What ever you decide, good luck to you both in your careers, your relationships and with your future families. It is a big decision and its good your putting so much thought into it and talking it out with your SO. Just shows to me what thoughtful, caring, informed parents you'll make.

teddy :) :)

[Lilith]

You know you are ready when the test is positive and you think....OK guess I am having a baby:p

[Steph]

Thanks, teddy! :)
ROFL Lilith!

My guy just printed out the date for a bridal exhibit (the big bridal shows?). I don't think he's seen this thread yet so I'm surprised!

[dicksbro]

Boy, I'm not the one to ask. I wanted two and my wife wanted five. That's what we got ... seven. :)

[IAKaraokeGirl]

LMAO @DB! Thanks for my morning giggle. :D

[DirtyDeeds]

I'm a guy....and just my two cents worth......if he really "Loves"you,he shouldn't be pressuring you about haveing kids...he shouldn't be saying "I wont marry you till you say I want to have kids" Plus the fact that you will be the one carrying it for nine months and then the stretch marks after.....

[Vigil]

The dear Lil, is wise as always........... The second third and fourth are a slightly different question.

[Belial]

Not that it means anything at this stage, but I don't want kids. Maybe I'll change my mind later, but right now I just don't see why.

[Incubus255]

I don't think this is exactly right to be saying that if he loves her then he wouldn't pressure her to have kids,

He's not pressuring her to have kids right away, he just wants to know that someday he'll be able ot have a child of his own, This is an important issue for alot of people

Heck even myself, I'm young, I don't want kids right now, or anytime soon for that matter but someday I would like to have a child. I wouldn't want to commit myself to someone who wouldn't even consider the possibility either

I'm not saying anyone is in the wrong here, but I can't blame the guy for wanting to have kids sometime in the future, although that certainly doesn't mean that she's wrong for not wanting to have kids, but it seems that if the two of you were to get married that he would be the one hurting eventualy,