Nice Guys

[Prophet Reality]

In a recent discussion with a gorgeous woman that is too far away, we were discussing nice guys.

Now my thought is that most nice guys get the low end because they are too shy to just come out and say what they want from a woman. I would love to be able to find a woman that I think would get freaky with me, and be able to just say..."Hey wanna have a night filled with fun and games and then a nice breakfast for 2." And not have it come off as a pick up line or worse.

So, what does everyone else think? Do you think that nice guys are too shy and get the brunt end of life? Or do we need to be patient to find the woman of our dreams?

[LixyChick]

Prophet!!!!!! Oh hun........I love you!

I'm of the belief that there is someone for EVERYONE! Being a "nice guy" does not make or break you...........it's just who you meet.................and your preconceived expectations of them before you even get to know them.

And.......once you get to know them.........your expectations might change.......but then, so might theirs. Don't judge everyone in one fell swoop!

I have no room to talk in the "be patient" department........but it's sound advice none the less. I've noted patience as a virtue in many people but myself.............and it's pretty becoming!

I guess what I am saying is..........You're worth it.......so be patient!

*hugs n kisses*

[BigBear57]

Being a nice guy is a curse I think. You're considerate of their feelings and they perceive it as uncaring. When you're slow to ask, it's uninterested. I can honestly see a lot of opportunities that passed me by just because I was "too nice" to just ask. Be patient and find the girl of your dreams? It's a beautiful thought but it's the hardest advice to take. I think even harder when you realise what wonderful people are here, just out of reach.

[Grumble]

I tend to agree that nice guys often get the shitty end of the stick.

many women go for the flashy sort of guys and end up finding that a steady decent man is what they want in the long run.

Strange isn't it

[BlueSwede]

I have very close female friends and relatives, along w/myself, who most definitely want and are looking for nice guys. There has to be some kind of physical attraction between you and another person, I think, but I would say that no matter how great the outside of the package, we are not interested if, when that cover is peeled away, a nice guy isn't underneath.

I understand just how frustrating it is; you nice guys are saying you can't find women who want you; we nice women are saying that we can't find any nice guys who want more than just a roll in the hay. We love sex just as much as the next person--maybe even more (smile)--but we want more than just a sexual relationship; we want a deeper relationship in which all of our love and caring can come into play--giving and receiving. PLENTY of us don't give a damn if a guy doesn't look like Mr. Universe and isn't rich like Bill Gates. And we DO want someone who'll treat us well, not like shit.

Be sure you're not just looking at those "gorgeous" types or you may miss some real gems. However, if you ARE willing to give those of us w/less than perfect covers a chance, I know that we're often out of reach due to distance, age gaps, etc. I realize it's darned frustrating at times.

I sure hope you will keep trying, Prophet Reality, because there truly are plenty of us "nice females" out here who are looking hard for someone just like you.

[Sassy Rose]

Originally posted by Prophet Reality
I would love to be able to find a woman that I think would get freaky with me, and be able to just say..."Hey wanna have a night filled with fun and games and then a nice breakfast for 2."


Oh how I would love to hear that from You and then some ;)

[osuche]

OK...I am going to add my own personal spin here.

I DO like nice guys...but just because you're a nice guy doesn't mean you have to be a wallflower. I like men who show me that they are interested in me -- in a nice way (of course).

Just like advertising, there is too much mental stimulation out ther for most average people. Thus, it takes some gumption and imagination to catch my interest and attention. However, after you get it...you are evaluated on whether you are a "nice guy" with compatible interests. If oyu are, you're in.

However...it starts with a little bit of forwardness...

[Prophet Reality]

Originally posted by LixyChick
Prophet!!!!!! Oh hun........I love you!

Thanks Lixy!

[Prophet Reality]

Originally posted by BlueSwede
I have very close female friends and relatives, along w/myself, who most definitely want and are looking for nice guys.

Be sure you're not just looking at those "gorgeous" types or you may miss some real gems. However, if you ARE willing to give those of us w/less than perfect covers a chance, I know that we're often out of reach due to distance, age gaps, etc. I realize it's darned frustrating at times.

I sure hope you will keep trying, Prophet Reality, because there truly are plenty of us "nice females" out here who are looking hard for someone just like you.

I totally agree with you on the judging a cover. I have been judged way too many times by my appearance, and thus not given a chance. Now granted I am not looking for a beauty model, I am looking for a real woman. Which means I would like for her to have some meat on her bones.

And if your looking for a nice guy, well there seem to be a few on here. At least that have responded, and I am sure that there are plenty that have not. Or you can just cum and get me. :bite:

[Prophet Reality]

Originally posted by Sassy Rose
Oh how I would love to hear that from You and then some ;)

Name the place and the time baby!!!!!!

[dadaist]

What's worse is that it's always the nice guys who become the designated drivers, and so they don't get to drink anything (and I'll only dance if I've had a couple beforehand :P ), AND they have to be extra nice to the people on the way home (don't speed, don't take turns too hard, etc.), lest they have to clean up any mess left in the car, if you get my drift and I think you do.

[Prophet Reality]

Been there done that. And what's worse, you finally get the nerve to talk to the woman you like, and she is too drink to know who you are, much less understand. Or worse, she throws herself on you, and because you are the nice guy, you don't do anything!

[dadaist]

Or she goes off with the co-worker seated next to you because he's had a few too many and any nice guy pretenses he's dropped already! :P

*sigh*

Can't help but laugh, a little though.

[Cheyanne]

You can still be a nice guy and go after what you want. You don't have to be sad-sacks about it because you haven't been able to assert yourself in any given situation.

There is a difference between being a nice guy and an introvert. Quit being a victim!!! Decide what you want and go get it!!!

Speaking for myself, I like the nice guy, but I don't like the nice guy who doesn't have any balls....

[osuche]

[i]

There is a difference between being a nice guy and an introvert. Quit being a victim!!! Decide what you want and go get it!!!

Speaking for myself, I like the nice guy, but I don't like the nice guy who doesn't have any balls.... [/B]

Cheyanne -- I agree completely!

[Prophet Reality]

Well who said we were whining and acting like introverts or with no balls. Most nice guys tend to be shy. And when they do go after something, they will go full force.

But then you get the nice guy that is socialable, and is not an introvert. But he hears someone say something about his appearance, and well there goes his self-esteem.

Now anyone who knows me here, knows that I am not an introvert. But you get comments like the ones here, makes you wonder. Because what I get from these comments is something negative. That unless you are forceful you won't get what you desire. And that you have to be forceful and a nice guy to be atrracted by some people. And to me, that is not what I see and hear.

There are a select few nice guys out there that can be what you expect. But on average not all nice guys are. Most are rather quiet and don't get involved, not because they are a "Victim" but because they are tired of getting hurt by the ones they want and desire. They get tired of the "I just want to be friends," or "Your like a brother to me." Well you know if I wanted that kind of a relationship, that is what I would look for and get.

So next time you are at a party and see someone standing or sitting in a corner ponder this. That might be the nice guy your thinking about or looking for. And give him the chance that he deserves, without thinking that he is a victim or doesn't have the balls to come talk to you.

And think about this too.... Sometimes the nice guy is put off by the beautiful people of society. Kinda makes us nervous, why you might ask, because they tend to think the same way about all nice guys, or they lump people into groups based on their preceptions.

[Cheyanne]

I agree with you on your points Prophet. And I wasn't saying that there was whining going on... just a mututal experience sharing... which isn't wrong because sometimes a person can lean from that.

Perhaps I should have been more clear on what I was sharing. A little over 5 years ago, I was dating a nice guy. He was as you described....shy, introverted, and yes a victim. He allowed other's perceptions and his "history" to cloud our relationship in the beginning and was willing to give up rather than go after what he wanted.

I thank God that I was not, nor am I, an introvert or shy. Because I knew what I wanted (him), I went after him and I got him. We have been happily married now for 5 years.

I often wonder....... if I had been a "nice" girl with all of the conotations that go with the description (shy, introverted - expecting rejection without trying) .... if we would be together today? Probably not.

So, when I said - Quit being a victim, that is what I was meaning.... don't allow stereotypical perceptions of how a "nice" guy is perceived to stand in your way of happiness.

My definition of "getting some balls" is this - motivate yourself do achieve success, become determined to be able to work toward what you want! If you see a woman standing there, make a point of saying hi, or making some sort of a connection. If you are denied, then you haven't lost anything for trying! But you do have to try........

[Prophet Reality]

Thank you for clarifying that Cheyanne. It was a bit confusing. And congrats on your taking the effort to pull him out and keep him as long as you have.

[celticangel]

Dm is a really nice guy~~~~~~~~
he accepts his past and mine too
he treats me and mine with the same respect he shows everyone
he puts up with things that hew might not totally agree with (within reason!)
he is strong and kind and not afraid to show his feelings
he is there for me
he is there for the kids
he is there for his friends


For me all these qualities add up to a "nice" guy~~~~~~~~~~no angel~~~~~~~~but neither am I!:love:

[Prophet Reality]

Very well put Celtic. And you are a lucky woman to have him.

[BlueSwede]

Obviously different words mean different things to different people. I'm just writing in defense of those who would consider themselves to be introverted. I'm one of those. Please don't try to put a square peg in a round hole, just as you don't expect left-handed people to become righties. It's not a flaw; it just is different from you extroverts who become energized by groups of people (e.g., parties) rather than drained, who prefer people-oriented activities to more solo or one-on-one activities. It doesn't have to mean we are weak or have inferiority complexes or lack balls to speak up. We just might put more thought into thinking first and then speaking rather than the other way around. We may tend to feel our way around a group or size up a group or individuals first before making a move. I know tons of people who are "nice" and are extroverts and tons who are "nice" who are introverts. And both groups have their fair share of jerks. Me personally?...I'll go for the introvert 9 times out of 10 over the extrovert because I know that to spend my time w/someone who feels the need to be around people most of the time would eventually drive me nuts. I just know me. At any rate, please try to keep an open mind about us "introverts"; being different from you in that respect does not mean we are screwed up or, as I said before, flawed. We're just being ourselves, and if we lived in some Asian countries, we'd actually make up the majority rather than the other way around, as it is in the States. Thanks for letting me vent. :)

[Prophet Reality]

Nicely put Blue. I agree with you completely and udnerstand exactly where you are coming from. I would much rather sit in the corner sometimes and watch everyone, determine who is worth my time, then to just blindly walk about and eventually maek a fool of myself or worse.

[Sassy Rose]

I can only speak for myself here but Prophet, you are one of the reasons I stayed here at Pixies when I first joined and I wouldn't want you to change a single thing about yourself. I love you as you are and always will. I look forward to that day when we might get to meet in person :hot:

[Lilith]

Who decides who is and is not a nice guy????

[Oldfart]

The guy.

[Lord Snow]

Nice guy is just a general term. As with most things, the definition varies based on the individual. I'm the nice guy in the corner watching others have fun. I will talk to people I know long before talking to someone I just met. I've always been that way. You put me in a situation where it's less than ten people and a few of them I've known for a while and I'll talk to everyone. In a situation that's a lot more than that, and I don't talk to anyone. I just kind of sit there and listen to the music, get something to drink (non alcoholic), and watch everyone else. What's funny, is on the net I'm a completely different person. I think it's because there's always a certain amount of anonymity.

[Lilith]

But to me that is shy, not necesssarily nice. Of course I know you are nice too but some guys are quiet or shy in a crowd and that's a good thing cause they are really assholes once they open their mouths.

[osuche]

The guy.


Amen. For women, they say..."pretty is as pretty does."

I wish there were an equivalent saying for men.

[Lord Snow]

Lil, I've met a lot of assholes and very few of them were shy. Everyone has a tendency to be an asshole every once and awhile.

[Lilith]

Maybe shy is the wrong term but there are def shy assholes too. Stand-offish?

[BamaKyttn]

Amen. For women, they say..."pretty is as pretty does."

I wish there were an equivalent saying for men.


there is. nice guys get their dick sucked.

[Mercury_Maniac]

not true in some cases.

never got mine sucked cause i was nice.

[Airy]

not true in some cases.

never got mine sucked cause i was nice.


I read this a couple of times and kept trying to come up with some funny way to say I would be happy to change that....

I love what BamaKyttn wrote...nice guys do get their dicks sucked...and my guess would be more than once! It has to be a nice feeling to have that special someone (and I truly think there is a special someone out there for everyone just be patient and be yourself and you will find them). Nice guys are something that every woman wants...we just don't always know it at first (goodness knows it took me a long time to figure it out) Maybe I have just wisened up and have a thing for nice guys now...

[WildIrish]

I credit Pixies with helping bring me out of my shyness. I have always been wicked shy.



Now I'm just wicked. :hot:

[WildIrish]

there is. nice guys get their dick sucked.



:roflmao:

[citrus]

For a "good time, call "888 666 7777"
For a librarian, call "800 the book"
For a barfly, go to the bar
For a cowboy, go to the rodeo
For a nice guy, go to where the nice guys hang out.


Hey!

Why was the "Nice guy" last?