I have a problem

[RangerGuy20]

Since this is the advise section I figured that this would be best for my problem.

My fiance and I like mutual masturbation, mainly because she doesn't want to get pregant and ruin her future. Lately we have "play played" no more than once or twice a month. The times we do, I am generaly the one to start the ball so to speak, and the times I start it she isn't in to it very much. Most of the time when you go a month at a time without and sexual contact, the time it happens is really intense. With me, my heart pumps like it is going to explode and I get the shakes. I have noticed lately that she pretty much does it and goes back to sleep without giving me any visual signs that she is enjoying it. The times she she gets the ball going, she is way more intense. I don't understand what the problem is.

I know that she enjoys it, she just doesn't look like it. I know this sounds complicated, but I hope someone can give me some advise on what is going on and some tips to make it more intense for the both of us.

[jennaflower]

Hey RangerGuy..

My first suggestion is that you need to get this addressed with her & SOLVED prior to marriage..

Second, there could be a large realm of reasons. The first couple that come to mind:

1) Hormonal.
2) Depression
3) Stress
4) Problem within the relationship

My only real advice would be for you to talk with her about this. Not in a way that will make her feel at all guilty or obligated but in a way that shows her that you love her and that you are honestly concerned.

HUGS

[RangerGuy20]

Thanks for the advise jenna. That helps alot. :D

[Wildeye]

SAme stuff

Talk to her about how you feel, but not about blame and find out how she feels.

It is the only way to solve problems.

Good luck

Wildeye

[Nuelaan]

I am in much the same boat, but some of it is just the fact that some women, and some men, just have a deminished drive. Much like if you are exercising, if you don't want to be doing it, it just doesn't seem as fun. I agree with the others though. Talk to her, it has done wonders for us. Best of luck

[RangerGuy20]

we talked last night and found out that stress is what gets her down some times. so i suggested that a camping trip down to south texas may be a good thing, and she said that she would love to go again. So we are going on Saturday and we are going to start playing tennis again, seeing as how that is one way I like to relive stress and she enjoys to play as well.

thanks for all the advise and comments, we really appreciate it :)

[osuche]

Good luck! I think the regular exercise and some time off is a good move...

[Ozling]

maybe she just likes to be the one to start things off then? it might be that she's starting it off because she's in the mood for it at the moment. like when you start it off she might not be in the mood for it. thats just my view on things though.