Sisterly advice

[BlondeCurlGirl]

Last night my brother (age 16, almost 17, and not allowed to have a girlfriend yet by mom's rules) came into my room and started asking me questions about dating, relationships, and when would be a good age to start having sex. :eek: I told him we'd talk about things another day, as I wasn't prepared for this subject being brought up. Now, if this had been a sister, I might not have felt *as* uncomfortable, but it got me to thinking...


Growing up, did you and your siblings talk about sex and share your experiences? :rolleyes:

Is the topic ever brought up now that you are adults?

[Lilith]

Who in the hell would ever have sex with my creep, brother????



No we never discussed it. He is 31 and married but I am sure still a virgin:p

[PantyFanatic]

LMAO@Lil:D


Ah yes! Sibling love.:)

[Teddy Bear]

I have to agree with Lilith on this.... ok both my brothers have kids.... but are you sure they are thiers?

No, never talked about it as kids, may have if they had asked, not sure. (I'm the oldest, 2 younger brothers)

It hasn't come up yet as adults.... but if it does I think we could talk about it. Well certainly with the youngest, he & I have always talked. But the older one it'd be a little harder to talk about, him being 'Mr Perfect-know-it-all' type.

Yes PF, another fine example of sibling love. lol -- Teddy :)

[skipthisone]

I never got the chance, my mom was a bit liberal and when my then 12 year old sister had a bunch of friends over. My mom came in with a banana and taught all these young girls how to put on a condom....Some of the parents were not pleased.

[Scarlett]

Ugh no. I never talked to either of my brothers about sex. Me being the baby and the only girl, they probably think I am still a virgin even though I am married with children lol

[IAKaraokeGirl]

LMAO @skipthisone :D

My sister and I are less than two years apart, with me being the oldest. When my sister and I were in high school, we didn't really talk about sex or anything like that. She was always a bit more advanced than me in a number of areas. Now that we're older she doesn't want to know *anything* about my sex life. What she *does* know she thinks is knows too much. :D

[BlueSwede]

I don't know how to say this w/o sounding harsh, and I sure don't mean to. I was sad, though, that you were not able to talk w/him when he approached you. I certainly understand that it caught you off guard. I sure hope that you will be able to talk w/him soon, however, and let him know that coming to you was fine.

You have a great opportunity w/your intelligence and insight, especially as a woman, to give him some wonderful advice and opinions. You could have a wonderful influence on him. I hope you are very flattered that he thought so highly of you and your opinion that he would come to you for that information. I'd sure prefer that my brother come to me than to his friends who may be misinformed, if he didn't feel comfortable going to your parents.

I know it is easy for me to say all that, because I have always been comfortable talking about all of those things w/my siblings or even friends who wanted some advice or who needed information. My brother is 7 years younger than I am; in fact, today is his birthday (Happy Birthday, Dave!), and he did come to me when he was about your brother's age. It was one of the last conversations we were ever able to have before communication between us was cut off for several years. I was so glad that he wanted to know what I thought about it all.

We've been communicating w/one another for a number of years again now, and we still bounce the topic of sex and relationships off one another. I'm so grateful that we feel close enough to do that.


I hope someday you will feel that way, too. Like I say, it is such a wonderful opportunity to have an influence on him in that area for what may be years to come.

[BlondeCurlGirl]

It wasn't a matter of "eew, I don't want to talk about this," but more so the element of surprise. I *do* understand that he came to me about this because my parents are going to shut him down and not answer his questions, but I am still unsure of what I *should* be telling him when he does ask the Q's. At his age, I certainly won't be giving TOO intimate of details about my own sex life, but I'm happy to act as a resource about women or direct him to information that is out of my realm of knowledge. I'm sure he does know basics, as he's had sex ed in school and he has been caught several times with porn on his PC and my mother found a Playboy (given to him by a friend) under his bed when he was in 8th grade. I also know that I don't want to be encouraging him to have sex at this age, but I do hope he would tell me or ask out my advice on protection or whatever before he goes and does it.

[BlueSwede]

I totally agree w/you, BCG. I think you'll find a way to help him w/o having to go into details about your own personal sex life. It'll be great practice for when you have your own kids, too, because you more than likely aren't going to want to go into detail about your own sex life at that time either. I sure wish you and your brother luck! :)

[PantyFanatic]

You'll never find a place with a more rounded view and yet sound information when it's time to be serious than Pixies.

Why don't you give him the web address and tell him to read like hell for 3 weeks. (will make a memorable summer read;) )









LOL :)

[Lilith]

Sure but my brother has cooties:p:D

[Lilith]

PF he is 16 ...I am still uberbitch especially about kids!


give him this URL


http://www.puberty101.com/

[PantyFanatic]

Originally posted by Lilith
PF he is 16 ...I am still uberbitch especially about kids!
.....
That's what will make it memorable:D
He can drive a car and carry a gun.;)

[BlondeCurlGirl]

Thanks BlueSwede and Lil :)

PF, even if he WAS old enough, I still don't think he could handle us. :D Nor would I want to let on about my secret Pixies life! ;)

[fzzy]

Hmmmm ... I have several siblings, but the age difference made it so it really wasn't a plausible thing to talk about when I was growing up ... now physical distance keeps us from having many chances to talk long enough to really get to that level of intimacy for talking .... unlike some though ... I think my brother and sisters are all very cool and can't imagine any of them not having wonderful full lifes with their partners. (Though I don't actually dwell on the thought!!!!) LOL

[dadaist]

It hardly ever came up in my family. Even going back to high school. I had to read about all the good sex positions on my own - ah....usenet. ;)

[Grumble]

I was never able to talk with any family about sex at that age.

Certainly it is the time when the body is all fired up and hormones are racing. I hope you get to have that talk with him BCG because i am sure that you will be able to make a big contribution to his development.

Many boys would not be able to ask, you are being paid a tremendous compliment and shown great trust. I would think that you should give him a womens perspective about what is good in a relationship, about trust and caring and the little things that matter so much, about how a woman feels when she has a period and her emotional reaction to it. The mysteries of women some men never learn and you can help your brother and his future partners by giving him the insight.

Tell him about what is good for a woman sexually, especially about the clit, I didnt even know what one was for so long, sex ed never taught anything much about that except to say it was there. Teach him that sex is a wonderful, normal human activity that is a gift when indulged in by mutual desire and feelings for each other. That it is not right to force it but will happen when the conditions are right.

[dicksbro]

We never got down to really talking about sex. My brother was five years older than me and so as a kid, I was just his little bro. We talked on rare occasions about girls but not in much sexual detail.

More like his telling me of the cute gals he dated. That kind of thing.

BCG, in some ways I admire you ... that your brother has enough confidence and trust in you to come to you with a topic like that. Tells me just how special a sister you are. ;)

[Cheyanne]

Once you swallow that nervous lump in your throat.... (gulp).......

Make a day of it with him.. take him out to lunch.. go to the park and talk.. away from the house. Ask him what is on his mind.. and try to be truthful, understanding.

What an amazing thing it can be to take a young man and give him insites (like grumbleguts said) about women. Take the opportunity to dispell any wrong information that he may be thinking is right (usually from friends).....

Sounds like he isn't just your little brother anymore, but a friend as well... cherish it while you can.

[BigBear57]

BCG Darlin, I think the fact he felt he could ask you says a lot. He looks up to you and wanted your input. While having the opportunity to turn him in the right direction and warn him of the many pitfalls ahead are very important. I think it also speaks volumes about how cool his big Sis is. A fact I had pretty much assumed from your pics and posts. You'll have that talk and do well with it.

[LixyChick]

I'm the middle child of five......all two years apart except for me and next sis down (miscarriage between us left four years difference). Growing up, we never really talked about our sexuality to one another........but now that we are older we can talk about anything. It just never really came up back then.......even though we all knew when each one of us was deflowered.

I agree with you BCG, in that it would have taken me by surprise if my brother had asked me questions, but it would have been different if it were one of my sisters. I guess though, after my initial shock, I could have sat down and talked with him about sex. We've always talked about anything else.....so why not?

You'll be fine hun! You are intelligent and caring.....and that's all that's really needed. It will come to you.....what to say I mean. It seems odd now but like anything else we might dread.......when it's over we wonder what all the fuss was about. Best wishes! *hugs*