Just want to know why...

[exhib_it_all]

Why is it that male exhibitionists are frequently thought of as perverted in our society? What's wrong with exposing oneself (not talking about shocking someone in a park), but even that...doesn't seem nearly as harmful to me as some of the things men do (groping, etc.)?

Just to set the record straight, I've never shown anyone anything unless it was acceptable to do so, (nude beaches, posting here, etc.) and I find that excitement enough. But is there something so scary about the male genitalia that makes you ladies not want to see one out of the blue now and then?

Why is that so offensive? I'd love to hear from as many ladies as possible on this one...

Just very curious,



Ex

[fzzy]

Personally, I don't think it has anything to do with showing genitalia ... just like rape has nothing to do with wanting sex ... it is an agressive act .... in this world we live in, women have to be on their guard about a lot of things...not closing down all avenues, but aware that a dangerous male is always a possibility. And such actions translate to a male forcing his will upon others, at least that's the way I interpret it.

Me, I've been flashed before a couple of times and I never even saw it ... my friend who was with me on those occassions did and commented to me about it and how scary it was ... seems men often choose the dark of night for such actions. I've just been clueless to it happening.

[exhib_it_all]

Perhaps it would help if you knew how I became an exhibitionist:

Posted the story here (http://www.pixies-place.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=14739)

[LixyChick]

A flash from an exhibitionist isn't so bad in and of itself. A cock is a lovely sight to me. It's the expectation seen on the faces of those men who do this that's the peculiar part. They get off on the shock value, as they seem to wait to see the shock before covering up again. I'm in agreement with fzzy on this, in that it's more an agressive act....not of pleasure but of force.

And.....to be quite honest.......all the times I've been "flashed" (and it's been several, just for the record) the man's face didn't read as someone I could trust or who was a very nice person for that matter. During this act...each man who flashed me......had a glazed over look in his eye and it was quite scary actually! There was an unspoken expectation.....and what I got from it was..........Does this guy think I'm actually gonna say, "Oh baby.....I'm so glad you happened along today because I am so horny I was hoping I'd get an opportunity to fuck a total stranger who forced himself on me"!???? Instead.......the act made me want to run once I saw "the look" on each individual's face! Force and scare tactics have never made me all hot and bothered!

And another thing............a couple of these flashing instances happened to me when I was fairly young and vulnerable.....which is a common example of how these men work. Pick the young and vulnerable ones who will be so shocked they won't be able to discribe me to the authorities. That's the truly perverted side of flashing I know....but it's quite common none the less.

Being an exhibitionist has it's merits when done in the proper circumstance. But......the street-wise common flasher cares not that he is being offensive and scaring unsuspecting girls and women.........as a matter of fact...that's precisely what get's him his jollies!

In essence.....it's NOT the genitalia..........it's the person's motive behind said genitalia!

[exhib_it_all]

My motives are much different than the people who flash young girls in a park, I assure you. I would never do that. Nor am I a danger to anyone. The problem is this: When you get close enough to a woman to be intimate and you tell her you like to be looked at, they often associate this with a 'flasher' and seem to think I'm some sort of pervert. How does one combat that?

Guess this should have been posted on the 'advice' boards..

Ex

[LixyChick]

You could ask Lil to move this thread if you think......but it's fine here exib_it_all......and I get your gist much better now!

I dunno if one could combat an initial reaction such as you describe......but in time, if she decided to stay with you....she'd see that you are no pervert. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so I'd say that you might want to make your choice of partner's someone who you thought would be most open to different sexual situations. An open minded person isn't hard to distinguish between a close minded type. Someone secure in their own sexuality will be more secure and open to your sexuality. You can lead a horse to water....but you can't MAKE him drink. If she sticks around regardless of her initial first reaction.....she might be open enough to want to know more about the turn-ons you describe.

Dunno exactly what it is that you say to bring up this topic.....but maybe it's the way you describe it and not IT itself that makes her react this way. I mean......in your story about how you discovered that you like this attention.....you said it was an accidental incident. One doesn't have too many "accidental" incidents like that in a lifetime..........so how do you now get that same thrill and what is it that you say to explain how you get that thrill? Sometimes.....it's not what you say but how you say it that can make or break an explaination.