What does it for you?

[IAKaraokeGirl]

Tomorrow afternoon I'm hopping on an Amtrak with ten other people from my town, heading west to Denver to spend a little over a week doing volunteer work--working at homeless shelters, food depositories, community centers, etc. It's my second year of doing this and, while a little bit of an odd way to spend your vacation, I've found that my eyes were opened to those less fortunate than me, and that, as bad as my problems seem to be, I should be grateful for the life I have. Last year's trip has really helped me to keep things in perspective.

It got me to wondering if there are others who have had similar experiences. Is there something that reminds you of the specialness of your life? Someone you love? How fortunate you are? It doesn't have to be nearly as overt as my example; for instance, it could be as simple as a gesture your SO does on a regular basis--something that makes you think, "Hey. I don't have it so bad, really." Any input?

(By the way, I will be suffering from complete computer withdrawal by the time I return and will miss you all!)

[Scarlett]

I was just discussing something similar with a friend last night. I was telling her about my awful dentist visit and how bad my mouth hurt and such when I realized that I am not that bad off at all. I had just gotten home from church and we had gone over the prayer list that had at least 5 people with some form of cancer on it. My sore mouth pales in comparison to their suffering.

[IAKaraokeGirl]

Scarlett, that's exactly what I'm talking about. It seems like I always get a little reminder, somehow, when I start feeling a wee bit sorry for myself. It's sometimes hard to remember when you're feeling down that there really, truly are worse things in the world. It's all in your perspective.

[Lilith]

When people ask me how I am, I am always "superb" or some other positive affirmation...not always because I feel that way but because compared to much of the world I have no excuse to feel less than superb. I have always been around families in crisis, either with sick or disabled children or in my volunteer work with parents who are too unstable to care for their children. When I get in the car after spending time with these families I always sit still for a sec, take some deep cleansing breaths and take a moment to feel grateful that my kids are ok and that I (although sometimes I have doubts) have the skills needed to parent my kids effectively.

[darkmanx]

I try not to let any little thing bring me down due to the fact that I'm just happy to be alive. I was born with a heart disease and they actually told my mother that I might not make it past the age of 8, but luckily she managed to get me to the states from Santo Domingo, and 21 years later I'm still here. And because of that, till this day, I don't let little things bother me, and I also think about the people that might have had the same condition as me and didn't make it, and the ones that don't make it daily...so no matter how "bad" I might think I have it right now, I know that at least I'm having it and there are others that have it worse.

[Loulabelle]

Whenever I talk to my Sister about our upbringing I get that feeling.

As much as she is a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent person, she does seem to be stuck in the Jerry Springer mind frame when it comes to our family.

OK, so we probably shouldn't have been having to deal with some of the emotional stuff that was put on us so young, and we do have an unusual family background and there is a lot of pain there, but there are other families who go through that without the buffer of a high level of intelligence and good health to keep things in perspective, a very sound and stable educational setting (yay for private school!) and at least one forgeign holiday a year. We may not have a had a great time as kids, but I know a hell of a lot of people who had a far worse one. These things only fuck you up in the head if you allow them to......

(Incidentally, the foreign holidays - to places like Kenya etc - often gave me the same feeling too.)

[Cheyanne]

I am not going to arugue with your statment IKG, because I often think that way myself. When I am down, or upset about something, I try to think of people who are going thru far worse circumstances than I - and that usually gets me through my tough times.

But on the other hand, each person's experiences/feelings/behaviors are their own, and I don't take away my attitudes and feelings and put them in my back pocket because I know of someone who has it worse off then I do. I will allow myself to dwell in my feelings of the moment, and tell myself that it is just awful, then I manage to convince myself that things will get better, and they usually do.

For example: Within the last year, I have had a hysterectomy (found cancer) lump in my breast (cyst - but was scary anyway) lost my job when I was in the hospital for my hyster, came home, recovered, found another job, was on that job for 6 months and had a small stroke, was released from the hospital - pretty much back to normal. During this time, we almost lost the house twice, ex-spouses tried to take kids away, lost a vehicle, became estranged with my mother (due to my wonderful sister). So, this last year really sucked the big one.

Through all of this, it was in the back of my mind that things will get better and there are people out there that are worse off than I am at the moment. I allowed myself to drown in self-pity, but survived it all.

And when asked how I am, I say pretty excellent! The reason that I do, is that I am alive and loved and have someone to love.

[IAKaraokeGirl]

Oh no, Cheyanne, I wasn't discounting my own feelings. I guess my point was that sometimes there are reminders that help keep everything in balance. Believe me, those who know me best know I'm probably one of the world's biggest worrywarts. I guess I was looking for were reality checks. I'm so sorry about everything you went through in the past year--that's just plain awful, as an understatement. I had a pretty rough year these last twelve months myself. I'm glad, though, to see you here at Pixies, and that it seems you've found that balance.

[BlondeCurlGirl]

My first year of college I had the pleasure to work with some children at a local elementary school who desperately needed someone to spend time with them, mainly reading stories to them and helping out with homework. I was very lucky to have parents who read me books and instilled a love of learning in me from a very young age, and who gave me any additional educational support that I needed throughout school. I have always been thankful for that, especially after I spent time with them. Was really nice having a little buddy to spend time with, and was glad that I could help, even if it was in such a small way.

IAKG, hope your trip goes well. :) We will miss ya here!

[IAKaraokeGirl]

Thanks, BCG~the feeling's definitely reciprocated. :)

[BigBear57]

While not a soup kitchen's deep need, I coached Little League for a couple of years. Alan, one of my good friends decided there were just too many kids crammed on each team so he asked to form a new one. What he was dealt was the kids.... let's just say who weren't as athletically gifted or maybe the less disciplined of the entirety. I just happened up one night to watch a game. I'd coached and played for years and as the game progressed I offered Alan some advice on things I felt he was missing. At about the game's end he turned to me and said "Do you want a cap?" Well damn I thought I'd overstepped my bounderies and felt embarassed. As it turned out he was asking for a helping hand. I had the best time with those kids. Most of them from disadvantaged homes whether economically or drug and alcohol influenced. By the end of my 2 years coaching those kids I'd all but adopted a couple of them and Alan had an extended family as well. I never realised the extent of my influence till I was in a diner one day and approached by this huge black teen. I was apprehensive when he spoke because I didn't understand what he said. He repeated... "Are you coming to the game?" Well I was just taken aback... as I looked at this big adult sized fella I recognised him at once. He was the "troublemaker" I'd held upside down over a trash can as proof he needed to listen. To be truthful, tears welled up as he walked of and I reflected. He really cared that I came to watch him play football. We do things daily and try to contribute. It feels great to see even the most basic of recognition years later. I know, it's not conquering hunger or making strides in world peace but it felt pretty damn good to me.
Lixx Hon I admire your plans. You're a pretty terrific lady inside and out. You'll be missed but know we all back your quest even if we do have to do without you for a bit. HUGGS
(sorry if I got too windy)

[Steph]

Wow (((((((((((Cheyanne)))))))))

I admire you, IAK and BigBear!

Actually, my story is a LOT smaller but I'll share, too. In February, the water and heat stopped working in the house we rented from a slumlord (who just happened to be in Vietnam when all this was going down). I had to shower at a homeless shelter and when I walked in, it really put my life in perspective. They were crowded around the TVs, sleeping on couches and lining up for food.

We have to look at the positives in life, no matter what.

[Grumble]

I have always been community minded and have coached junior sporting teams or been involved in administration since I was 20 years old.

I remember turning up to go to a under 13 football game and there was just me and my car and 20 boys to take them to the game. I had no kids did it for no financial reward and was very pissed off to be expected to do it all for everyone else.

I have coached cricket as well and for the last 10 years have been in track and field athletics & cross country. Also been on the parents & friends (PTA) at the kids primary school and chairman of the school council at their high school. Whilst not working for the under priveledged I have put much of my spare time into worthwhile organisations.

I must say that the you get out of it what you put in because seeing the smiling faces of the children and having them come up to you in later years to say that they enjoyed what they did and seek you out to say so made every moment you put in more than worth the effort.

When I was so sick it was being with the children and their enthusiasm that kept me going.

[LixyChick]

I think you all already know I am an atheist..........but there is a saying that I try and live by and it says it all in one fell swoop.

"There but for the grace of God go I"

I know my pain and anguish is far less than some who I encounter on a daily basis............and of some whom I will never meet but read and learn about in the news. At the end of a particularly rough day.......I lay my head on my pillow and think......."This pillow is a sanctuary of which many have none.......neither the sanctuary or even the pillow. I am blessed to have both.......life is good".

Hurry back IAKG! Sounds like a wonderful and giving experience you will be on. In my own little way, I do charity work from my pocketbook. If we had a functioning chapter of Habitat for Humanity around here I would be out and about already today to raise my hammer and help in a more physical way. It's coming soon and I am anxious to lend a hand.

[huntersgirl]

I have in the past voluntered at shelters, taught acting at a boys and girls club, and talked to incoming freshmen at a college about being raped. All of this I did for my own personal reasons and I have gotten out of it more than I actually put in. A few years back I was grocery shopping and was approached by a girl who had heard my "story" and just wanted to thank me for giving her the courage to speak up and do something about her own personal experience. This is the greatest reward one can get. I always said even if I can just touch one life it is worth every bit!

I would also love to do the Habitat for Humanity bit. I used to contribute monitarily to the charity, but really would love to be able to actually go out in the field and build something. I just mentioned to someone not long ago, that if I ever remarry that my ideal honeymoon would actually be to go to a habitat site somewhere down south and volunteer. I think it would be a great way to start off!