Spending time with friends

[girls_rule]

My husband and I were talking the other day about our lack of fun friends. We have one couple that we're very close with and have been friends for 10 years, but they're not really fun and although we see them often for dinner and drinking we can't do so many of the other activities we like with them because they are home bodies and they also can't be spontaneous because they have kids. In addition we can't really relate to them, they are so different and it's more of our history that keeps us close. Outside of them we have a few social friends that we see from time to time, but we haven't bonded with them. For a while there we had friends that we hung with all of the time and we had a blast, but then they had a baby and that changed everything. I now find myself longing for "fun friends" to hang with. I think I'm driving my husband nuts. I want to meet people who are fun, and that we can really build a good relationship with. People I truly long to spend time with, not people that we see becomes we're bored and feel the need to socialize. I guess the older you get the more precious your time becomes the more selfish you get with that time and the harder it is to find people you can bond with because you just don't see each other enough. I think that once I have kids it will be easier since it seems everyone our age has a family and I just can't relate to them right now, they are in a different place. I'm wondering if I'm unrealistic in my need to find some special friends...and no I don't mean like that. We have several good friends and many acquantances to do things with, but I just feel like something is missing and it's something that I had not too long ago with my other friends who have since gone off in another direction. Is what I'm longing for unrealistic....it's like I want fun "college" friends and I'm far from college age. People are busy and don't have time for much more than dinner, not hiking, wandering to the coast, any of that. They do those things, but as far as schedules jiving I think it's hard. How social is everyone here at Pixies? Do I just think everyone else is having more fun socializing than they really are and I'm not really missing anything in my life?

[krzykrn]

Not at all strange, in fact I am searching for the same thing where I live. I lived most of my life on the East Coast, but when I decided to move to the West, I had to leave everything and everyone I knew. I have found the older you get, the harder it is to make, true friends, and not just aquaintances you hang out with, or do things with.

I have a great circle of friends, some who I have known since highschool (I am 28 now so you do the math), but I really miss them, and that feeling of closeness. These people I would trust with anything, and I would gladly lay my life on the line if I had to, without a second thought. Granted, I know making relations like this takes time, but it just seems harder to meet like minded people because by now, a lot of people the same age range are set in their ways, just like I am.

What I have done is try to find local message boards, and put up a post looking to make friends. While I have met a few people, I didn't really feel we had anything in common besides "let's go do something together to kill time". I am still hopeful, and will be on the lookout joining possible activity groups that I am interested in, I suggest maybe you and your husband do the same. At least that way the people around you all have one thing in common with you, and who knows, something may grow from that seed. But you have to make the effort for things to grow, as painful as it may be at times, this is what I am finding out. Good luck to you in your search.

[LixyChick]

Friends aren't a problem for us.........it's avoiding the ones who want to be friends but we don't particularly want to hang out with that get's to be a problem. I don't like to be rude to ANYONE......and so I get to be the diplomatic one.......which may call for "little white lies" which I hate to do. I hate lying in any form!

[dicksbro]

We've got some really terrific friends. Two couples have been close to us for over 30 years ... our kids grew up together ... and even when work had us living 70-miles apart temporarily ... we stayed in contact and get together several times a year. We're still separated by 10-15 miles but the friendship continues.

One of the couples husbands died three years ago and we still include the wife in everything. The wives have lunch every month, and holidays are still spent together. It's been great.

We've also got a number of friends that we see practically every day. People that we see when we do volunteer work, or at church, or just neighbors. Once a week I still go back into work to have breakfast with people I used to work with and felt close to. It's great staying in touch.

For us, friends are important. What I like about Pixies is that while I've never have gotten to shake your hands or anything ... you all feel very much like these friends I've described.

Gosh, I think I'm getting mushy. Sorry, but you are good people.

;)

[metaphysical700]

I don't see anyone except for my girlfriend and often, I feel intensely lonely. Ever since I was a kid though, I've always focused on one person to be my best friend and snubbed anyone else pretty much. I moved house last year too so that didn't help.

[Oldfart]

My job keep me out of relationships where you can plan a Saturday afternoon

three weeks from now. My roster rules my life.

I have a few close friends, but the club crowd drifted away when I became

a once every few weeks party animal.

But in all that, I'm not lonely because I'm happy with my company

and that of my SO and friends.

[Steph]

I've just moved to T.O. and hang out with people from work once in a while but I'm too busy paying off bills to go out and socialize much right now anyway. I end up talking to people long distance more than anything else.