Stillwater
05-22-2003, 05:48 PM
So it is that I find myself rather bummed, if the moderators feel that my bummer post should be removed, so be it. Otherwise read at your own caution.
Things take turns, life is a highway you see when you know what happens when a fuel injected engine runs out of gas. It damages the motor some and most importantly your car stops going vroom vroom.
Standing beside the highway I watch the other motorists as they zoom by, some barely pay notice, others flip the bird out the passenger side window, some stop to help but find themselves unable to solve my mechanical woes. I sip the last of my beverage and count my money, something which doesn't take long and is a reminder of why I didn't purchase gas at the last stop. I look ahead, the road is long and from the sign I saw ten miles back it's 35 miles to the next rest stop.
I turn away from the highway, a road reserved for those who seek their own respective "point B" along the strech of pavement. I know that my "point B" will not be found here on this road, not now, not with a full tank of gas. I walk from the road and into the woods beside the highway, disappearing into the foliag I can still hear the sounds from the highway as I push further in.
The woods, I've found, can be both fearful and comforting when one approaches a breakdown. The idea that no one is there to see you and judge you allows me to think in a neutral enviroment.. while the nagging sensation in the back of my mind which tells me to probe ever further into the wilderness is accomponied by the fear that it may be impossible to find me should I choose not to reappear in society.
Standing alone, looking at the spider who diligently mans the web which I found directly in my path. I watch this creature and listen to the noises of the forest now. Obviously this spider does not face the woes of a sentient creature. From the onset, driven by instincts alone it considers it's life a success or failure by how full it is and how many offspring it produces.
I wonder if humans don't retain those same instincts, sentience not nessicarily granting enlightenment. I wonder about politics here now as I watch the spider, I think about science and pollution. Something catches my eye and I spot a creature I have never seen before, so many small creatures inhabit this forest and there are persons out there who would be able to name and identify each one of them.
I close my eyes and breath in the air, the crisp, woodsy stink of a forest surrounded by, caged within civilisation. Why am I out here, where am I going. Do I wish to camp? Where will I find the answers I seek.. Will I make a difference in life or simply fade out of existence. Is my success determined by how much I eat and how many children I sire.. The Taoist path rings in my head and I know that in living by my own morals I have succeeded on some small level. Yet... Still nagging in the back of my mind... Shaking my head to clear away absent thoughts, pulling down the front zipper of my shorts I relieve myself upon the forest floor. I know only that I serve my part and still walk with unsure steps towards an unseen horizon, my part in nature reaffirmed by this most primmal gesture. The sun shining it's light through the canopy, life inside and surrounding me I zip up my pants when finished, turning around and begining the hike back to the car.
I hear the sounds of the highway once more, a vaguely comforting reminder I am not the only human, even if I am the only one who I may no completely. I wonder down back to my car, the "SEND HELP" Sign left in my window has obviously attracted attention as I see a few simaritans standing beside my vehical and looking about for the driver curiously. Shortly I am again returned to society via the back of a pick up truck with my spent vehical in tow. I see that while one chapter may close on life the story has not yet ended. Troubles and woes are temporal, I tell myself, the redwoods will stand after I am gone.
Things take turns, life is a highway you see when you know what happens when a fuel injected engine runs out of gas. It damages the motor some and most importantly your car stops going vroom vroom.
Standing beside the highway I watch the other motorists as they zoom by, some barely pay notice, others flip the bird out the passenger side window, some stop to help but find themselves unable to solve my mechanical woes. I sip the last of my beverage and count my money, something which doesn't take long and is a reminder of why I didn't purchase gas at the last stop. I look ahead, the road is long and from the sign I saw ten miles back it's 35 miles to the next rest stop.
I turn away from the highway, a road reserved for those who seek their own respective "point B" along the strech of pavement. I know that my "point B" will not be found here on this road, not now, not with a full tank of gas. I walk from the road and into the woods beside the highway, disappearing into the foliag I can still hear the sounds from the highway as I push further in.
The woods, I've found, can be both fearful and comforting when one approaches a breakdown. The idea that no one is there to see you and judge you allows me to think in a neutral enviroment.. while the nagging sensation in the back of my mind which tells me to probe ever further into the wilderness is accomponied by the fear that it may be impossible to find me should I choose not to reappear in society.
Standing alone, looking at the spider who diligently mans the web which I found directly in my path. I watch this creature and listen to the noises of the forest now. Obviously this spider does not face the woes of a sentient creature. From the onset, driven by instincts alone it considers it's life a success or failure by how full it is and how many offspring it produces.
I wonder if humans don't retain those same instincts, sentience not nessicarily granting enlightenment. I wonder about politics here now as I watch the spider, I think about science and pollution. Something catches my eye and I spot a creature I have never seen before, so many small creatures inhabit this forest and there are persons out there who would be able to name and identify each one of them.
I close my eyes and breath in the air, the crisp, woodsy stink of a forest surrounded by, caged within civilisation. Why am I out here, where am I going. Do I wish to camp? Where will I find the answers I seek.. Will I make a difference in life or simply fade out of existence. Is my success determined by how much I eat and how many children I sire.. The Taoist path rings in my head and I know that in living by my own morals I have succeeded on some small level. Yet... Still nagging in the back of my mind... Shaking my head to clear away absent thoughts, pulling down the front zipper of my shorts I relieve myself upon the forest floor. I know only that I serve my part and still walk with unsure steps towards an unseen horizon, my part in nature reaffirmed by this most primmal gesture. The sun shining it's light through the canopy, life inside and surrounding me I zip up my pants when finished, turning around and begining the hike back to the car.
I hear the sounds of the highway once more, a vaguely comforting reminder I am not the only human, even if I am the only one who I may no completely. I wonder down back to my car, the "SEND HELP" Sign left in my window has obviously attracted attention as I see a few simaritans standing beside my vehical and looking about for the driver curiously. Shortly I am again returned to society via the back of a pick up truck with my spent vehical in tow. I see that while one chapter may close on life the story has not yet ended. Troubles and woes are temporal, I tell myself, the redwoods will stand after I am gone.