love?

[pepsigirl]

i have a question?

i was talking to my lover earlier, and told him i loved him and he said you don't have to keep saying that. i suppose i say it too much according to him. why would he say that? it really hurt.

[Joshka]

Hiya Pepsigirl,

You will probably get a million different answers to that question. But here are my thoughts.

When my girlfriend lived with me she used to say she loved me far too much (if that is possible) it would be the end of every conversation on the phone, when we went to sleep and when we left for work.

I loved her with every ounce of my body, but felt that if I said it too much that it would just become another 3 words.

That way, when I toild her that I loved her, I liked to think that it meant more, because I didn't just blab it out for the sakes of it.

As I said, no doubt a lot of people will disagree with me here, but I think that if it is said too much then it just becomes three meaningless words.

Hope that helps.

[Loulabelle]

In the past I've had guys whom I've felt have said it too much........but what it really was that got to me, was that they were too insecure to cope with saying it if I didn't say it back. I hated saying it just because they had as I felt it lacked sincerity.

When I say it now.....I say when I happen to be feeling it (which is a hell of a lot of the time) but neither of us feel we have to say it just because the other one does.

Perhaps you should make it clear that he doesn't have to chime in with 'I love you too' everytime you happen to get the urge to say it.

[seriousfun]

My current girlfriend has told me she loves me on a number of occasions, but I think that I should wait to reciprocate at least until her divorce is final :)

Loulabelle, I think it's just part of our makeup as guys to feel compelled to respond. Maybe showing someone love, and making them feel loved, counts for more in the long run.

[pepsigirl]

thanks you all.

i appreciate your insight. i don't want to make him feel he has to say it everytime i do. i just have such powerful feelings toward him that they rush over me and i do say it a lot, but i feel like i could never say it enough. guess i need to tone it down, huh?:bfly:

[Steph]

My guy says it more than I would but I just accept it because he's more cuddly than me, too. We're all different . . . sometimes I will say, "you know, that's the 15th time today - can we just assume we still love each other without expressing it for another few hours?" :D

[Loulabelle]

I say:

If ya feel it say it! There is nothing like spontaneous affection.

But then I'm loved up so I would say that. :p

[celticangel]

I was told repeatedly by my ex that he "loved" me
Turned out to be a lot of "hot air"
He "loved" the control
He "loved" the power
He "loved" the fact that I thought the sun shone from his butt!
(he assaulted me~~~~but thats in the past now!)


It took me "ages" to voice my feelings for Dm~~~~~~~~~had to wait till I was brave enough~~~~~~~~but now I tell him all the time~~~~~~~~~~and if it worries or upsets anyone~~Tough!!!!!!!
Life is too short and uncertain to hide u'r feelings away~~~~~~~a lesson learned many years ago

[Sharni]

I say it all the time...probably drives Bilbo nuts...but tough...*LOL*

They are certainly not meaningless words that i just say for the hell of it...I Feel the need to say it...so i do

Bilbo is my life, my love

[dm383]

Celticangel~~~~ you are my :sun: , you are my :love: ; you are EVERYTHING to me....... I LOVE YOU ! !

[Wildeye]

The voices talk to all but in many languauges, shapes, sounds and whispers, sometimes at night, sometimes in the private world of tears and dreams, sometimes from rooftops, louder than bombs, higher than mountains and, (Though I'm not a fan Lennon was right) - All you need is love and there is no heart that can't be broken, there's no one too tough to cry.

Philosophic (spelt badly) Wildeye (emotional and strangely reasonable.)

[huntersgirl]

That was beautiful Wildeye! Wow your wife is a lucky lady!


Say what you mean and mean what you say! If it is sincere they should know it, and understand.:)

[Missy1965]

The word "Love" is only a mere word. I would rather have someone show me that they "truly" loved me with their actions, sesitivity, thoughtfulness, devotion, mutual respect, and caring then have someone simply say it just to say the words and not really mean it. Who knows why some people can't show it or say it, my guess is that they don't really know how or are afraid of rejection. There could be a million different reasons why a person doesn't "say it". If you can give love as well as receive it then you are blessed. To feel loved is a much nicer feeling then simply saying it.

[blkcat]

I think with a lot of guy's to say I Love You means a
Commitment,so they may not want to hear it said to them.

[dadaist]

One GF seemed to want to hear it all the time from me, and that took some of the meaning/magic away, in my opinion.
I agree with Missy that it should just as much be in the things NOT said, or the things done instead of said.
Although I will grant you that perhaps over the telephone or via just email, where you don't have visual cues, maybe the little reminders become a little more important.
I try to keep it through things said and only say it when I truly feel it...and no I don't think it's necessarily a commitment thing, as even my closest friends know that I love them, in a different way.

[Loren]

Originally posted by pepsigirl
i have a question?

i was talking to my lover earlier, and told him i loved him and he said you don't have to keep saying that. i suppose i say it too much according to him. why would he say that? it really hurt.

There might be a few days of our marriage that I haven't said it. Not many, though. We passed 15 years last month.

[Irish]

With age I have realised many things!when you're younger,a woman,can't hear it enough.To a man,once is almost too much!He
doesn't really listen.When a man gets older,It's nice to hear it.
There is something on his mind besides JUST sex!All I can say,is
to give it time.I realised that,when I was younger,all that I cared
about was Hot cars,Hot motorcycles,and Hot woman.Not neccessarily in that order. Irish

[pepsigirl]

oh, he tells me he loves me too. i just think maybe i have been saying it too much and maybe expecting that he should say it everytime too. so i'm trying to behave now.

[LixyChick]

This is the most touchy subject for me. When I lived with my mother......not a single night went by when she didn't tell me, "Goodnight _ _ _ _ _ _ _, I love you". I'd say, I know you love me mom, why do you tell me it all the time"? She told me that we never know when our last days on earth will be and she wanted to make sure she had said it recent enough for me to remember the time it was said. I've never forgotten this sentiment and to this day.........if I love you, you will hear it from me as often as I think of it to say! I"ll never say I love you just as a filler...........if I love you.......you'll know it! It's NOT something I take lightly or spread around loosely...........but when I feel it......I say it!