What do you do for...

[dadaist]

...getting over REALLY low self-esteem all the time?

...meeting anybody new (online or offline)?

...getting out of the house and doing anything when you're down?

...finding a job in today's crappy economy?

I realize this could cover multiple threads, so if the powers that be want to split it, that's fine.

[Lilith]

low self esteem~ I tell myself to kock it the fuck off! and that no one likes a whiner!

meeting anybody new~ Don't stay home alone...new people are not there.

getting out when down~ unless you are truly depressed, and in that case you need to see a doc to help you through it, then it is all about making up your mind to change and only you can do that.

job crappy economy~ be careful with the $$ you got left and network...call everyone you know who might know someone.

Every one of these issues involves the need for confidence. When you are convinced you are a person worthy of good things then good things will come your way because you will be sending out positive vibes and will get them in return!

[Steph]

The wise Lilith said it best!

I just scored a freelance gig through the friend of a friend. I was hired for one of my better jobs through my cousin . . . I just speed read "What Colour is your Parachute?" and that puts things in perspective.

You can also do some volunteer work to kill two birds with one stone - you can meet people you have things in common with AND network at the same time.

[PantyFanatic]

You have low self esteem?-:( I know where you can go to hear about self esteem like you’ve never dreamt of.:)

You want to meet new people?- You can get out of the house and back to nature,:) travel to exotic places where you can try new foods, share quaint old customs.:rolleyes: They’ll come to you in the night and want to give their passion just because you’re you.:p

Job security- How would you like to not worry about where your next meal is coming from,;) or be bothered with picking out just the right thing to wear.:cool: Have everything given to you that you need to impress people. Even those pesky things like medical are covered.:eek:









:mad: JOIN THE ARMY! :mad:

[jennaflower]

PLEASE PF... don't say that toooo loud... some may take you seriously... and all the nice eligible bachelors will have to endure long periods without Pixies... tho.. that would be all it would take to get my old avatar out of retirement (the least I can do to support our troops again).


dadaist... your questions are all good ones.. but none of them come with easy answers....

the following are just my opinion.. based on my experience... and won't necessarily be something you feel comfortable..

#1: Low self esteem... the best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who love you and support you.. remind yourself daily (out loud) of some of the characteristics that you LOVE about yourself... even if you start at the little things... if you do this on a regular basis, you will be better able to identify the big things about yourself that you like.

#2: I am like the WORST person here at Pixies to answer this I think. I can only say (and this IS easier said than done) to take the chance. Say hello to the person at the mail box, at the grocery store, at the bank, etc...

#3: This one is a toughy... my natural reaction when I am down is to withdrawl... become homebound.. and alienate myself from those that I love... fortunately for me.. I have my son... so he is my reason for getting over it :)

#4: My only suggestion is to better yourself thru education. Yes, the economy is tough.... but it has been tough for many years and there is never a guarantee that it will improve. After my divorce, at the age of 27... I was a Wal-Mart employee. As a single mom it didn't take me long to realize that if I stayed where I was career wise, I would never be any better off financially and that I would struggle to give my son the life I felt he deserved. Just after my 28th birthday I went to college... altho at first it was a very daunting and scarey task.. I took it on... and I conquered my fears...

No matter what.. don't.. and I mean DON'T listen to PF (sorry PF, I know you meant it in jest... right?), joining the Army is not the answer to solving lifes difficulties (I know..... been there... done that... tho it was the Navy for me). The military is an opportunity to enhance ones goals.. not to run from them :)

off my soap box now before I slip and hit my head.

[Cabrylla]

I have to agree with PF actually...thanks to the Army and the job security it provided my mother was able to raise two children and the self discipline and esteem she got from her training she did so without killing either one of us...and we were horrible children...it may not be the answer to all life problems but sometimes it can be the thing for a person who has no idea where the future will take them. Now not to get on a tangent....the answers to Dadaist's post...

1. self esteem...it relies more on getting to a point where you are happy with yourself regardless of anyone else.

2.meeting people.....as nike says...just do it...there are always places to meet new and interesting people...sometimes you just have to look.

3.being down....usually just a nice drive on a sunny day around here puts me back in a good mood.

4.jobs...the newspaper and the internet have hundreds of listings everyday...isn't that hard to find a half way decent one if you look hard enough

[seriousfun]

I had been unemployed for six months and gave up. I took my fall-back job, which paid next to nothing. A few days into the job, out of the blue, I got a call from the owner of the company where I now work, who had been referred to my by a common business friend, actually a competitor of ours. In other words, network!

The secrets, like "do what you love, the money will follow" and "you get back what you give to the universe" are sometimes too obvious to see. You'll look back on this time and wonder what you did with all that time...

[Casperr]

Well everyone's said some really good advice here, there's not much more for me to say.

But I want to stress something that's really important - look for POSITIVES!!! It's way too easy to focus on the things that are going badly in our lives, be it lack of job, lack of a partner, lack of friends - whatever.
But there are always good things in our lives, if we just look for them. Not necessarily amazing or wonderful things, but they might be just that little thing that's good that lifts you up enough to get your head sorted out. See a film, go and have a drink at the local bar, go and watch a game or whatever, just try and remember how to have fun, and how to enjoy yourself.

Networking, as has been mentioned, is crucial. The old saying "it's not what you know, it's who you know" has never been more true than in this day and age.

Also, sometimes when we get these 'flat' periods in our life, it can be a sign that a big change is needed - maybe take up a new hobby that you'd never thought of before: photography, skydiving, scuba diving, lawn bowls, knitting, whatever! Go back to school, extend your education. Learn another language. If you're stuck in a rut, break out!

Same for jobs - you don't have to do the same job you've been doing previously. Why not look at completely different fields? Start out small and work your way up. Check the papers or wherever you have job listings, and cast your eye over some of the other sorts of jobs available, whether it's working as a mechanic or a waiter or office admin assistant or whatever. If you've got the enthusiasm, you'll be noticed.

There's nothing else I can add to the advice already given. If the army suits you, go for it. It's not my sort of thing, but it might be yours I dunno.

Just keep your chin up, stay positive and remember - thousands of people love you purely because you're a Pixie member ;)

CasperTG