Family Affair

[ChinesePussy]

How do you think of this problem? I know someone who he is married to a wife for about 13 years now. They have two beautiful daughters together. Both of them have a successful career, have their up and down moments, and live a normal family live just like every other couple. Recently he found out that she has been cheating on his back with the one person he least suspected, his very own nephew. She is 34 and he is 22, he is his nephew not hers so there is no sickness in the relationship, just awkward and it hurts him a lot. He have confronted her many time before about how they have flirt with each other and her replied was that he just a kid. Not until when he caught them, she finally admit to it and she told him to forget everything and to start over. He loves his kids so much and there is no way in hell he is going to loose them through a divorce. he has tried so hard to forgive but it is not going anywhere for the past 4 months. As a father, he has been controlling his emotion not to let the kids know about the problem. Since both of his kids are very close to his nephew as well, they are 8 and 12. In public he still acts as a husband but at home he just cannot handle it. Each time he sees her face or when she tries to get close to him at night, anger just over come him and he has to push her away. The love that he once had for her is no longer there. The though of her having sex with him just eating him up inside day by day. he has not confronted his nephew yet because he sees no point in it at all and it probably would not change his feeling in anyway. To him, his wife is a grown woman and she is accountable for her own action, and no one else regardless of reasons. In addition, she wants to keep both of his families out of it and in peace. Especially her mom who lives with them, she will be heart broken if he file for divorce since two of her older sisters already went through it. One of her older sister also had an affair and end up in divorce leaving behind 3 kids to the husband grandparents.
Should he continue to play the husband role and hope that time would heal all wounds? Or,
Should he file for divorce and take the risk of loosing his kids and careless about both family members feeling?
:confused:

[IenkiMoonshine]

That is a very difficult situation, and if he really wants to save the marriage (even if it's just for the kids and his mom) they need to go see a professional and get some therapy.

Of course he's hurt and angry! He needs help to get that out, so that it doesn't hurt his family.

She needs to be willing to work at the relationship too.. how does she feel about divorce? Will she put in the effort that's needed?

[Steph]

Originally posted by ChinesePussy
Should he continue to play the husband role and hope that time would heal all wounds? Or,
Should he file for divorce and take the risk of loosing his kids and careless about both family members feeling?
:confused:

There are definitely more than two choices here, CP! They should all seek counselling immediately (says the gal who just finished reading Mia Farrow's autobiography & of course, the Woody Allen debacle). The husband can't go on feeling this way. He needs to deal with it.

[naughtyeddie]

there is no excuse for cheating and particularly with his family.

dump her as that type of betrayal is unforgivable as she denied it until caught.

if they had an understanding about fooliung around or were swingers that would be different as it would not be cheating.

[ChinesePussy]

yes, that was how i think, i think he should dump her and get over it. there is no excuse for cheating. that is how i think.

thank you very much for your opions guys