my best comeback

[Grumble]

I have been reading with some amusement the thread on great customer service. the way the service agent handled the loudmouthed asshole was great

recently I chalked up a noteable one myself

I was parked in a K Mart car park and was slowly moving out when a young couple walked straight in front of me with out looking and I had to brake suddenly to avoid running into them.

the male turned around and yelled at me

"watch it!!! she is pregnant" in a very beligerant tone

I replied "well don't blame me for that"

There were quite a few people around who burst into laughter and the guy and his pregnant companion quickly moved on with red faces.

It made MY day anyway LOL

[dm383]

Nice one Grumble!! Why is I always think of smart answers 10 minutes later, when it's too late?? Hmm.......

[BIBI]

Sitting at a red light one night last summer and a car comes swerving and screeching to a stop in the lane next to me.........of course I chuckled to myself because he was such a macho type guy and was so clearly embarassed. He looked over at me in his frustration, noticing I was chuckling and he yelled as loud as he could to me."SUCK MY COCK BITCH". To which I responded as loud as he had yelled "GROW ONE"

[dicksbro]

Great response GG. You, too BIBI. Wonderful replies! :D :D

[PantyFanatic]

Due to the flexible hours, I worked in the produce department of a Krogers Supermarket while I was finishing school. One day I noticed this 6’-5”, 285 lb. guy with a red face, squinting, breathing through his teeth and clutching the edge of the display bin tight enough to leave fingerprints.:mad: He was either about to go into a seizure or had just been hit in the nuts by some old ladies shopping cart.:redghost:

When I asked him if I could help in some way, he bellows the lettuce was all packaged the same way and he only wanted ½ of a head:mad:. Thinking the sooner I get him out of here, the better.:o I walk all the way to the stockroom in the back of the store, unwrap the product and shout to my boss as I chop it in two, “There’s this BIG, UGLY, STUPID looking guy out there that only wants a half of head of lettuce.” Suddenly this shadow moves over me and I realize he had followed me into the stockroom.:eek: I turn and continue to my boss, ….. “and this gentleman wants the other half”.:rolleyes:

[PantyFanatic]

My boss said he was please with the way I had dealt with the situation and that the store was always looking for future managers.:) He said he could get me a position in a smaller store as assistant manager and that if I did well,... within a year I would be manager and then on to larger stores.:) Only thing was their smaller operations were in Canada.:(

I told him “no thanks, I am going to be finished with school by the end of the year and have a good job line up”.:D: “Besides, there’s nothing in Canada but hockey players and whores.;)” He said be careful what I say, that his mother was born in Canada.:eek: I asked him, “Oh? What team did she play on?”:rolleyes:

[LixyChick]

OMG! ROFLMAO!

[dicksbro]

PF, those are funny. LMAO.

[Steph]

I can't believe you're not the president of those stores now, Panty! LOLOL

[MrNebraska]

In college my friends and I always try to make the classes go by quicker so we occasionally play games.

We were really bored and stupid but we played the "PENIS!" game.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with it:
First person whispers Penis, then the next says it louder, then so on and so forth, until sommeone is screaming it.

This is really dumb because this was in class. Anyways, we started playing this and pretty soon it was my turn and I had to yell real loud. Unfortunately it was loud enough to get 120 students to look in my direction. My friends and I turned beat red and we got up to leave( from the embarassment). Then my friend said to the proffessor as we were leaving "He has Turrets Syndrome" I was already out the door and In the hall but heard this and decided to play it a bit further. So I yell, "Cock, Shit, Lick that Pussy, Motherfucker!"

The class erupts in laughter and the proffessor hasnt said a word the whole time, he's just in shock.

The next week the proffessor calls me over after class and says his daughter has turrets syndrome. He said he didnt appreciate me making fun of his daughter. I of course did not know this and apologized on the spot.

He however wanted to stage something with this turrets. This is Pyschology by the way. We talked about what we could do to Prank the class.

So, during the next class...he told me to say something crude every 5 minutes or so. Not yelling it just saying it, slightly loud.
Then he told me to totally erupt about 30 minutes into class. I, obviously rehearsed stuff i was going to say first.

So I totally started yelling " Holy shit you stupid MotherFucker! You can lick my balls proffessor......." Just insult after insult....People were in complete shock, some people were snickering. Then I got up and started walking to the door to leave and we had the proffessor push me into the doors and we both left the classroom. I kept yelling profanity and tried making a ton of noise....like crashing and chairs moving or whatnot, while he took off his jacket( which exposed a previously torn dress shirt) and he loosened his tie. He also put on just a tad of ketchup on the corner of my lip. This took about 30 seconds....

Then he yelled, "NO MORE! Get back to class"

I walked in first with a 'bloody mouth' and people were gasping... Then the proffessor walked in all torn up and sweaty looking(water).

The room just erupted in gasps and chatter. Some girls asked the proffessor if he was Okay and whatnot...

All he said was, "Sorry for that."

Then towards the end of class I yelled, "You stupid mother fuckers. We got you!"

People still talk about it....

Ahhh memories

[Steph]

That's fucked up. I know someone with Tourettes and it ain't pretty. He was removed from an examination room at our university because he had a lot of tics.

Psych profs are weird. I took a sexuality course with one guy. I was friends with his kid. The prof was bisexual and left his marriage for a guy.

[quisath]

LMAO PF...............

[incitatus]

Speaking of College Profs...
An ex-girlfriend and I were having a couple of beers with our old college professor. When I told one of my typical corny jokes, she moaned.
I said, "Ah, come on, you know my sense of humor was the best part of our relationship".
She said, "I don't think so".
I said, "Then it must have been the sex".
She replied, "Well, at least the sex was funny"!

OUCH!