Are you going to call me?.......

[Bronzedozzy]

Some advice required....in the past, I've got myself into deep doo doo, I spent the night with a lady and as she left, she asked THE QUESTION "are you going to call me?"......I said sure....and didn't. she started ringing a few days laterat 2am and being really abusive because I said I was going to ring her and didn't, and that somehow I had cheapened her....and get this, threw a drink in my face at a club, and told the Swedish Back-packer I was with that I was a "DUD" fuck........nice.

What are men expected to say in a situation like this? do you say"Nah sorry Baby, that was it, I just needed to get my rocks off."

Do wimmin expect for us to be brutally honest, and tell them we have absolutely no intention of ringing them?.....what?....input please.....what do wimmin want?

Looks like one of those lose-lose situations where ya damned if ya do and damned if ya don't.

[Lilith]

I told you, just say................."probably not":o then haul ass:D:D:p

[Lilith]

Oh but you are gonna call me after right????????:D

[fzzy]

personally, I'd want honesty .... when I get an honest reaction ... even if it isn't what I want to hear ... I react very nicely .... everyone is entitled to feel the way they feel .... but if I'm lied to then I can be hurt by learning the truth down the road and although I'm still very passive in my reaction ... I won't like either of us very much for a time ... and I probably won't ever like you again. Honesty hurts briefly .... lies hurt longer - at least that's my opinion!

[rabbit]

In most cases, we both knew what the deal was and that was OK. I did have a few situations where I really wish I had called (and so did she).

rabbit

[BIBI]

I would imagine if a woman has to ask the question of whether or not a man is going to call her again.........she should already know the answer and save her breath! Seems to me that if a man wants to "see" her again, her first clue would be if he protested her leaving in the first place!

Now saying that.....be upfront before you take her home. You may lose out on a few sessions of sex, but you will have less chances of drinks being splashed in your face! :)

Personally I wouldn't have let you know for a moment if your lack of call bothered me.....but then again...... I would have never asked!!! ;)

[Lilith]

Exactly BI BI!

Some women don't get subtle clues though it seems......usually because they are self involved or fantasy minded and don't take time to really listen to what a man is saying, body language speaks volumes and because men are not the communicators us ladies are it is often necessary to read between the lines. If he doesn't ask you to stay, guess what?, he doesn't want you to. If he doesn't ask for your number, he is not planning on calling. If he doesn't return your PMs he is not interested.

If he's not interested there are 9875927537539759327527559872 (give or take) more out there:p

[LixyChick]

I agree with BIBI and Lilith.

I wouldn't have to ask that question. I'd know by the feel of the situation. But I have asked that question......and as soon as I blurted it out I wanted to take it back. It's always in that lull just after you say, "Well, that was fun. TY for a great evening!", (or any other adjective of an evening).

But, I have to say........if the question is posed and you do answer positively......you at least owe her a call to say that you are sorry but you don't think things would work out for you two. No other explaination would be necessary, but elaborate if you want with the reasons you don't think things would work out for you.

Geezzzzz guys.........there such a thing as manners! Momma taught you better than that!

[Sharni]

If I ever posed such a question.....i'd much rather get the *nope-i'm-never-gonna-ring-ya-again-now get-outta-my-face* speech now....than build a little hope that maybe I misread the signals...and you really were interested in more than a quickie!

If ya say ya gonna ring....then ring!....common curtesy after all

[Bronzedozzy]

OK....I'm convinced.....manners, even if that means being brutally honest.

I still don't think she should have wasted that drink on me LOL..
and the "Dud" was a bit tuff, I could have handled "mediocre".

Maybe Guys should produce "The Rules"....on paper and have the lady sign beforehand,

Rule 1. don't ask if I'm going to ring, if you are interested leave your Phone no, this in no way an indication that I will.

Rule 2. If there is a wet spot, you sleep in it.

Rule 3. No post coital cigarette, I hate nicotine.

Rule 4. Please call a cab on my phone when you awaken, vacate by 8am regardless.

Rule 5. Don't leave anything so that you have an excuse to come back and pick it up.

Rule 6. There is a brand new toothbrush and a towell should you need to shower.

Rule 6. If I am asleep or feigning sleep, do not wake me to say goodbye.

How would that work?

[Lilith]

*smack* bad bad evil man! ;):p

[Sharni]

LMAO

Yep that should about cover it :D

[Bronzedozzy]

Thanks ladies,

I'm the new enlightened, well-mannered, sensitive guy, with all the right information, if in the future they get p'd off because of my honesty I will be happy to refer them to this forum at Pixie's.

[Steph]

I dunno, if you're in the 'one-night stand game', shouldn't everyone involved know the rules? I guess sometimes you could get needy people who don't know the "rules of engagement" and then you get a drink and an insult thrown in your face. :) Live and learn, I guess.

[Irish]

Rule #4 should have-No long distance calls,please! Irish

[Bronzedozzy]

Steph, precisely my point.

Irish, Nah you get a bar put on overseas calls, easy and keep the PIN to yourself

[LixyChick]

Hey! I use LixyChick so I can plead the fifth at any convience I choose!

I plead the fifth here and now! This cannot be used against me in a Bronzedozzy court of.........

Oh hell.......What do I care.....I know I am right..........tell her Lixy said so!

And BTW Bronzebaby............I'll call ya! *wink*

[Bronzedozzy]

for you Lixy...I'd even sleep in the wet spot...LOL.

[LixyChick]

Wet Spot?

Just one Wet Spot?

*And BTW........It's not a cold wet spot for long..........it warms to body temperature in as little as 2 minutes!*

DON'T ask me how I would know that! I'll plead the fifth again!