Threesome questions

[CherryChick248]

My boyfriend (like, I would imagine, every guy ever) wants to have a threesome. I'm not against the idea, in fact messing around with another girl is something I've always wanted to do. But I'm kind of afraid of what it means for our relationship. In theory, I don't think I would mind it, but in reality I don't know how I would feel seeing him have sex with another girl. We are in a long distance relationship, and I'm afraid that if we have a threesome, I won't be able to trust him anymore, or it might make things weird around us.

Ladies: Did you ever have a threesome with your significant other? How did you approach it, and did it change your relationship?

Guys: Does wanting a threesome mean your girl is not enough for you? And do you think you wouldn't be satisfied with just her from that point, or think differently about her?

I don't wanna rush into this...any help would be appreciated!

Cherry

[Vintage Vixen]

My bf and i have been wanting to do the ffm 3sum for quite a while now.The trouble is finding the right person.We've placed ads,gotten replys but never really found anyone for real.I recently
started talking w/another female and i can honestly say in the whole time we've been looking she so far is the most real person i've talked to.As far as wether i feel like i'm enough for him or not lol thats not the case at all...i want to do this for both of us.At this point in our relationship i have no question that it would be totally cool:)We did the mmf thing way back and i was afraid it would kill the relationship..we both had 2nd and 3rd thoughts but we did it and neither of us were comfortable with it.That was over a year ago..so yep we are still together.My thought on the ffm 3sum working for us is because i'm bi so i think it'll be just something else we can have fun with :):) Think about it though..and if you do have fears talk them out with your s.o.
GOOD LUCK :)

[jay]

I think he would enjoy taking you while watching you going down on the other gir that way there would be no contact between him and her and yet he still gets the threesome.. and if that works out with out any problems and every one is comfortable you could try a full on threesome?

[dm383]

I think you're right about "every guys dream", I know I used to dream of a 3-some with me & two girls...... never did get to try it either! But, with age comes (a LITTLE bit of) "real-life"!!

Last things first - definitely DON'T rush into it, especially in a LTR like you have..... I reckon it's a bit like getting a tattoo - quick & easy to do, but you have to live with it for the rest of your life!
As far as thinking you're "not enough" for him - I really don't think it's that at all... more likely it's a fantasy he has, and one which he wants to share WITH YOU!! If he knows you are interested, that may be why he's brought it up in the first place?!?!

As to whether he'd be satisfied with "just you"..... well, that's something that neither of you will know until/unless it actually happens! I had a MFM 3some a few years ago, with my ex-wifes best friend and her husband... it was totally spontaneous (I think!!!) and I enjoyed it a lot more than I would have imagined.. BUT, we ended up sleeping together by ourselves later, and they have since split up... don't know if that had anything to do with it, but...........

Jeez, ALL my posts today are turning into novels!! I think what it boils down to in the end is - Do you trust each other enough to try it, and walk away if you have ANY reservations? And, have you thought about who the third-party will be? THAT could be the most awkward aspect of the whole idea!!

Good luck with your decision..... and if you DO do it.. come back & tell us what happened!;)

DM

[Irish]

CherryChick248---It's not every guys fantasy!I have never particularly,wanted a threesome.My opinion is that it depends on
the certain persons lifestyle.Sorry if I blew some peoples minds here.I don't think that it's wrong for some,but it's just not my thing! Irish
P.S.Different strokes,for different folks!

[dude33]

It is a fantasy for me because seeing two women together is a turn on. To be able to be in the same room and participate is a part of that.

[airhog]

I feel the same way you do cherrychick, except on the opposite side of the coin. My Gf is secure that I wouldnt run off with the girl, but im not so sure my Gf wouldnt run off with the girl. I guess its an ego issue :D

[PantyFanatic]

YES to your first sentence. lol (except for Irish- LMAO)

Now for the difficult part.;) My limited diversions to this interesting (and mostly) pleasant venue says that your long distant relationship does add an erratic burden to an already ticklish issue as dm383 pointed out. You may want to consider any venture into this new area from a less complicated start.:confused:

Strongest point you have is that it’s something you BOTH are interested in doing. I’ve found that even when somebody really wants to have a 3sum “for the other person”, it leaves an unfulfilled feeling for everybody and a VERY unfulfilled feeling for that one.:(

The advise on a good understanding between you from long, open conversations, should be taken advantage of. As well as it being very necessary, it can be a turn on itself. I’ve found that an agreed definition of your fantasy 3sum helps keep the green monster away and focuses on the exciting FUN part that that you both are after. “For me”, a 3some is just that. Three people enjoying sex simultaneously.:p:D:p One watching the other two or taking turns CAN be exciting but is not a 3sum. You BOTH doing her, or her doing BOTH of you, or….., or….., or….. is how you keep from *"I better not look like I’m enjoying this TOO much"*.

Finding that other person can be hard. It seems the best time have been somewhat spontaneous, at least for the first encounter with somebody. Your discussions can include a set of definite signals between you that you’ve both have found your prospective partner. It’s very hard when it’s very hard,:redghost: but I try to be careful NOT to coerce a situation anybody will have second thought about in the morning. LOL If EVERYBODY involved doesn’t really want to, it’s not what you wanted in the first place. And the black and white reality is always going to be a little different than the techno-color fantasy you started with.

The whole thing is kinda like tiptoeing through the minefield to the whorehouse. If you make it, it’s GREAT!:D:D:D

[ericthered]

Have done the FMF scene a few times and it can be GREAT! For the man anyway.

Did learn a lot about human dynamics though. Firstly was with my ex and her best friend. Spent a lot of nights in bed (in clover) but it inevitably led to jealousy from my ex. Imagine waking up and finding your husband enjoying himself quietly inside your best friend. Especially if you were not feeling like it and he didn't have anything left for you anyway. Also the male gets a bit confused about just whose bottom he is allowed to pat when all three are out shopping. Over all - not a great idea as it put a lot of strain on the relationship until the friend moved away.

With another ex had a delightfully spectacular evening with a little brown lady we rented while on holiday in Thailand. It really is fun watching your lady make another one come, and she enjoyed the experience as well. She went down on her with no hesitation and the two of them had so much fun that my contribution was a bit of an afterthought. After our assistant had left, ex and I spend the rest of the night making love like teenagers.

Haven't had the chance to repeat the event with my present lady, but if the chance comes up AND IF THE PARTNER JUST COMES, CUMS AND GOES, we will jump at the chance. I suggest you think the same way when picking the lucky third party.

[Vintage Vixen]

I think if you find someone neither of you know it will be much easier...my man reallyyyyy wants a ffm 3sum poor me lol.I think it would be a huge turn on to well lets say have him watch ...me w/another chic ..and i have visions of how it will go...MmmMmm
Ive done the ffm many times but never with anyone i loved.It was always w/ buddys lol..

[souls_cry2000]

No it doesn't mean that one isn't enough. It means that one wishes to try new things, broaden horizons and to experience all avenues of pleasure.

If you do it set some boundaries. Make your feelings known. If he steps over the line you have your answer. If he can't listen to you then fuck him.

[BigBear57]

Cherry Hon you're right about most men dreaming of being with 2 women but in my opinion the answer to what it reflects about your relationship depends on attitude. If you two see it as sharing your relationship with someone and both make sure the 3rd party enjoys it, that would seem OK. If you're doing it to satisfy his fantasy... would he in return offer you the same thing? (MMF) It's the old goose and gander thing.... just my thoughts.

[Scarecrow]

The only thing I have to add is if there is any doubt on either side do not try a threesome. You must be very very sure that is what you both want.

[huntersgirl]

Well, I am new here and just read this thread and had to reply. My exposure to this site came from a wonderful man in my life who has allowed me to really begin to explore my sexuality. Most of my desires have been inhibited in past relationships for a variety of reasons. And boy is it refreshing to explore and not be judged. Anyhow, the subject of a 3sum has come up with us as well. Not really sure if it was me that brought it up or him.*S* I too haved very mixed feelings on this. If I was not in love I don't think I would hesitate in the least. If I was unattached and the opportunity arrose, then I could certainly see myself going for it. But love puts a whole new twist on things. Your question of will you be enough for him, is one I too have asked myself. Another is will I be jealous of the other woman. The main problem that I face is is it worth the risk of screwing up the relationship? In my case it is definitely not. So we have opted for not now, not until we are sure that it is something our relationship can handle. Here's an idea he had that I think sounds like great fun. Go out together and look for the girl. Just fantasizing about the possibilities together could be really hot....and as my man quoted "sometimes the hunt is better than the catch" Good luck with your decision.

[Vigil]

I admit to having this fantasy in my twenties. I think that I can also admit that it was because I thought that I was such a love god that I could staisfy two women. Well why stop there three four five.

Tell him that you want to try sex with a woman on your own first to see if you like it.

The issue is so full of sex power politics. Tread carefully.

[PantyFanatic]

Originally posted by Vigil
I admit to having this fantasy in my twenties. I think that I can also admit that it was because I thought that I was such a love god that I could staisfy two women. .....
I try to be careful about all-inclusive and generalization statements. But I have one you can take to the bank.;)
There is no woman in the world that can not look UP longer than you can look DOWN.

[Vigil]

But its fun learning that.

[gekkogecko]

Originally posted by CherryChick248
In theory, I don't think I would mind it, but in reality I don't know how I would feel seeing him have sex with another girl.
(snip)
Guys: Does wanting a threesome mean your girl is not enough for you? And do you think you wouldn't be satisfied with just her from that point, or think differently about her?

I don't wanna rush into this...any help would be appreciated!


First of all, talking about your relationship with your s/o...imagine that. Wow. Wish more people actually did that instead of just paying lip service to the idea. Cool that you're doing it.

My wife and I are poly...this nothing to do with the concept of "one girl/guy" is not enough for one person.

It has everything to do with the idea that just because you might love one person does not mean you can't love another, and a rejetion of the societally-induced idea that people "belong" to one another.

The occasional 3-somes (both mmf and ffm) we've had haven't really changed our relationship. But that's because we do communicate, and agree to certain ground rules before doing anything. IOW, we've never had a 3-some just for the sake of having a 3-some. *who* the other person involved was was important and was discussed beforehand. I highly recommend that.

It really is all about attitude and communication.

[Wildeye]

Agree with last point, it is all about communication.

Sex is as much in the head as hips, its not the cock or pussy but the person ..all fantasy is just fantasy and v.different from reality. if you don't want to do it then don't - anyone who respects you, will respect this decision - otherwise ditch'em.

If you want to, then do it but be sure, try to imagine how it will feel, not physically mentally eg seeing another girl suck your mans cock? Or kissing him? or him taking her ? Will you be ok with that? and face it someone at some point will get left out - be prepared for that.

Good luck

Wildeye

[rabbit]

No desire to engage in a threesome since gettin' hitched.

rabbit

[Kimberly73]

My husband and I have discussed the possibility of a 3some at some point in the future. There was a time when I would have said a definite no...actually I did. Lately though I have been more willing to try different things.....so who knows.

[Pussy Willow]

My hubby and I are also considering a 3-some. We've made the
decision to "take the plunge" but now the problem is finding the
"lucky" 3rd party. We've considered calling an escort service,
but I would like to be someone we know who might be open to it.
I would like it to be more personal. I don't know. I do know that it will eventually happen. I would also like to experience being with another woman on my own also. But again, how do you go about asking ??????

[faerysflower]

i have been on the other end of that... i was the girl brought in for the threesome.... it was weird at first... of course he wasnt allowed to penetrate me... so it eased the awkwardness. i suggest if you do it limit it to what you are comfortable...like oral is ok but intercourse between them isnt.

[o410e_ALF]

Hi All
We have been injoying the swinging life style for a year now but will say we have been married for 22 years, before we tried it, we did alot or research and then talked about what we would do and what we would not do, what we held scared to each other and would not do with anyone else, we have both had the fantasy of extra female and extra male we have enjoyed both and as we went into this with the view it was to enhance OUR sexual relationship, not a quicky sex treat, both of us have to have some sort of attraction to either him or her, and we both give and take , condoms are a must and any party has the opportunity to say no and stop at any point in the play.
this give both the opportunity to feel comfortable with what is happening, and feel they are in control of the suitation, All i can say to you is think hard set your boundries and know you can stop it at any point make all involved with play understand this.
it should make for a happy swing time for all concerned.

[jadeL]

I feel for people who come into this situaton for the 1st time...

ok 1st up best thing to do is ask yourself is your man wanting to do this because of the distance (how ever far) or because he thinks by giving you this chance your experiencing life to the fullest ?...something to think about asking...

but to move on my husband & I looked for a single girl to join us for a fmf 3sum for 2 years because i am bi sexual & thought it would be great to experience this with him as i had already had fmf's earlier in my life & he well he wasnt allowed lol (ex wife jealousy normal stuff) ...when we couldnt find anyone we both liked or who liked the both of us because i am also a BBW we decided to look into swinging we joined clubs in australia & met some nice people & some not os nice people & we clicked with 1 woman but not with her husband so after 2 time sof playing we found someone else even though I still chat to this other woman .we also found my darling girlfriend & her husband & we play as often as is possible for us all (as we have kids)

but lately I have been wanting to try single guys for a mfm & hubby is kinda ok with it but hasnt quite come round to the idea but the whole thing is whats good for 1 is good for both .
anyway getting off track my husband has no intention of leaving me he loves our life style & he loves playing with other women .
but we are married so we are solid as we can be for now so before you go into it then you need to talk more about it make sure you both want it & stay happy hope this confusing post helps lol....jade :slurp: :heart: :hot: