Pixies Place Forums - Extra - marrital affairs.

celticangel

02-10-2003, 04:39 PM

have been there-------the pain was too great--------if I stopped loving my partner and found that I was attracted to someone-else I would hope I would be strong enough to end one relationship before heading out on another----------------

I have too much respect for my s/o and wouldn't hurt him for the world-----------------also I can't see me ever being in that position------who couldn't love a wee furry super hero!

dm383

02-10-2003, 05:04 PM

If given the right circumstances...and nobody would ever find out..especially your spouse/So....

Trouble is........ they DO find out!! Almost always, sooner or later.

Some of you may already know, that this is how my marriage ended.... "grass is greener " etc.etc. ......... well, Bollocks it is!
I am a very lucky guy, in that I found someone who takes me for what & who I am; but who also knows (I hope!) that I would rather cut it off, than even THINK of cheating on her....... she has given me trust that I'm still not sure I fully deserve; she is, quite simply, MY Angel!! SO, the answer is a definite NO.

You're the best, sweetie....... and I luv ya!! :D

DM

Vintage Vixen

02-10-2003, 05:11 PM

Absolutely not...wouldn't take the chance of losing the best guy in my life.No way,no how would it be worth it.

luc328

02-10-2003, 05:18 PM

No way would I cheat. The trust your spouse/SO places in your fidelity is awe-inspiring. You can never truly get it back if you screw up.

Missy1965

02-10-2003, 05:54 PM

I was married to someone a few years ago that I considered my best friend yet I wasn't attracted to him sexually throughout most of our marriage which last a few years. Things were nice between us he was so good to me and would have done anything for me no matter what it was as I was to him. However, not being attracted to someone one sexually was extremely hard to deal with on a day to day basis for years and I was very frustrated but I still never cheated on him. Instead, we divorced and we each moved on with our lives. So if I would never cheat on someone I wasn't attracted to then I couldn't imagine cheating on someone I was really attracted to. So no matter how tempting it may be I just wouldn't ever do it. I couldn't live with myself after.

Lilith

02-10-2003, 05:59 PM

Yes.......

Tess

02-10-2003, 07:36 PM

Interesting question...

I've been married (and divorced) twice. I know my first wife had several affairs, the second one did not. I only strayed once during both marriages. Is it right? No. Is it wrong. Probably.

I guess the bottom line is that going outside the marital bounds is a situation where you have to weigh what the risk is. The loss of the marriage is largest possible consequence. And the confusion and pain of the children of that marriage has to be considered should the marriage end.

But if you're on your way out of the marriage anyway, the risk is very small, so why the hell not.

Sometimes the risk is what makes the affair exciting anyway. If there wasn't the risk, would the affair be as exciting? I think that is where you'll find the truth of the matter.

Lilith

02-10-2003, 07:58 PM

Originally posted by Lovediva
If given the right circumstances...and nobody would ever find out..especially your spouse/So....

Would you or wouldn't you have one?

Be honest!! :D

This is the question..............nobody would ever find out.........so the question for me is can you do it and live with knowing you did it?

rabbit

02-10-2003, 08:28 PM

Yes...if it was the right situation with the right person.

rabbit

Missy1965

02-10-2003, 09:17 PM

No matter what still wouldn't do it no matter how much I wanted to.

txgrneyes

02-10-2003, 10:44 PM

If something is missing from the relationship and your s/o wouldn't try that something for one reason or another and somebody offered it to you. Your honestly telling me that you wouldn't if the circumstances were right.

I beleive I would...not to hurt him but to satisfy me...and make me happy for a while so I can try to convince him to try so I wouldn't have to.

Lovediva

02-11-2003, 06:25 AM

OHHHHHh Rabbbbittttttttttttttttt.......I have this situation..............

..............that I need help with! ;) :D

Bilbo

02-11-2003, 07:11 AM

I did,
it was the wrong thing to do, for all the wrong reasons, Revenge!

Damn near killed me with guilt, I had to tell Sharni, was very rocky for awhile but Love concures all

Smurf

02-11-2003, 07:12 AM

situations ???:D

dm383

02-11-2003, 07:28 AM

There have been a lot of interesting answers to this thread already, and I've been "surprised" by some of the answers........ anyhow,,,,,

Originally posted by Lilith
This is the question..............nobody would ever find out.........so the question for me is can you do it and live with knowing you did it?

Previously, I could (and did) live with the guilt aspect of an affair; now though, I don't think I could. The nearest I'll EVER come to an affair now, is enjoying the pictures that the lovely Pixie ladies post here; the Angel knows I look and is OK with it, so it's "cool". If she objected though, well I guess I'd stop... she means WAY too much to me to jeopardise what we have.

Rest assured (??) though ladies.... there'll be Plenty more comments from the SuperRodent on your lovely pics!! xx

DM

fzzy

02-11-2003, 07:40 AM

I couldn't do it .... mainly because it would leave me feeling so ..... wrong ... that's the only word I can think of to describe it .... I wouldn't know who I was anymore if I were to make that choice.

rabbit

02-11-2003, 07:15 PM

Originally posted by Lovediva
OHHHHHh Rabbbbittttttttttttttttt.......I have this situation..............

..............that I need help with! ;) :D

Oh, Diva...do tell! ;)

rabbit

don73153

02-11-2003, 09:11 PM

I have the feeling that if I love someone enough to marry them, then cheating isn't even thought about.

When it IS considered, then it's time to re evaluate the situation.

Don

ericthered

02-12-2003, 06:22 PM

No - affairs are out - irresponsible -lying's not good for you.

However, if I ever find a naked blonde in my hotel bed, I won't think twice. She made me do it, honey, honest!

hagel9

02-12-2003, 07:48 PM

I would Only if my mate was involved so I am going to say No, I don't dare

Brian_Watt

02-12-2003, 08:54 PM

The guilt of doing that would kill me. I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt my girl. I love her too much

scotzoidman

02-12-2003, 11:00 PM

Had to answer "I don't know"...I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize my marriage, & I have a guilty face...but I know better than to say "Never"...
Diva, did you have a particular circumstance in mind? ;)

Lovediva

02-13-2003, 10:27 AM

Yes.....I do. :)

You see...I have this ITCH deep down inside........and I can't seem to reach it....... :(

Think you can help me out???;) :D

xanne

02-13-2003, 11:04 AM

I have to agree with Scotz and say "I don't know". I was very tempted last year with my S/O being so far away and us having such a rocky patch, but it didn't happen. But I was surprised how close it came to happening............

Oldfart

02-13-2003, 01:43 PM

I'll go with Lilith and say, under the right circumstances and a guarantee

of no-one ever knowing, yes.

Lilith

02-13-2003, 01:47 PM

TY I felt like the lone tramp:p

inman

02-14-2003, 01:34 AM

no I will never...... i love my wife and she gives me everything i need...... hen why should i choose another affair..... not necessary.

but for other if they dont get what they want they may go..... there is nothing wrong.

vampeyes

02-14-2003, 08:46 AM

I've gotta say yes especially if the circumstances were right and he didn't find out.. Hell who am I kidding if the circumstances weren't right I might do it LMAO :D Sometimes ya just need some!!!!!!!!

hairypalmblind

02-14-2003, 09:48 AM

It sure is fun to DREAM about cheating...like while masturbating...but, as with many fantasies, actually DOING it presents far more risks than potential benefits.

I am constantly amazed the power of sexuality...while in the presence of a sexy woman...or while masturbating and fantasizing...I can imagine myself betraying my wonderful wife...my family....and for just a F__ck?

No doubt this man is hard wired for "sticking it in any available hole" as many females will describe. But, I was also given a mind, and a conscience, and it has, and will continue, to prevail.

Sex with a new partner, as great, and compelling as it is, is not worth such sacrifice.

skipthisone

02-14-2003, 09:52 AM

Vampeyes you just put it perfectly right!!

BlueSwede

02-15-2003, 10:41 PM

I don't like the 3 choices (but I voted anyway). I wanted a fourth choice: No, because I don't believe in being unfaithful to my partner. Even if my partner never knew about it, I would know about it and have to live w/my own conscience.

BlueSwede

02-15-2003, 10:45 PM

What Don said reminds me of my fiance's favorite quote (his grandfather's quote, really): If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, try watering your own lawn.

whitehorse

02-16-2003, 03:48 AM

Sorry, couldn't vote. When in a relationship, I am always faithful, whether I'll be found out or not.:D

Sugarsprinkles

02-16-2003, 04:54 AM

Originally posted by txgrneyes
If something is missing from the relationship and your s/o wouldn't try that something for one reason or another and somebody offered it to you. Your honestly telling me that you wouldn't if the circumstances were right.

I beleive I would...not to hurt him but to satisfy me...and make me happy for a while so I can try to convince him to try so I wouldn't have to.

Very well phrased, txgrneyes!

This is precisely the situation I find myself in. Up until 10 months ago I would have adamantly insisted that I would NEVER cheat.
But one can only take so much neglect. I love him dearly, and would never leave him, especially after investing over 30 years in our basically happy marriage. If he ever finds out, I can honestly say that I tried everything I could to get him to understand what I need from him that he is both incapable of providing, and unwilling to try alternatives to provide.
What I am doing is NOT meant to hurt him, spite him, or "get even" with him in any way. It is simply because I found someone who is happy to provide what I need, and I believe I'm doing the same for him.

hitachi

03-05-2003, 06:07 PM

No I would not be able to cheat. I lived through this when my spouse had an affair about 8 years ago. The deception and the lies nearly tore us apart. The fact that she went behind my back is what was so hard. I actually new about it the first night, we had been fighting a lot at the time and she told me what she was going to do and I let her do it instead of losing her all together. The next day she felt so terrible a bout it and said it would never happen again. Well it went on for about a year be hind my back, every time I confronted her she lied about it and told me I was overreacting and making something out of nothing. That’s what was so hard, the LIES and the lack of respect she had for our marriage. Once things finally ended, it took a few years to get our trust in each other back, she still carries some guilt around even after all this time. I could never go through an affair again.
Now if I new about it upfront I could handle a threesome or sharing her with someone else (this has always been a fantasy). But there is just know way I could approach a situation like that without clear understanding of what we expect out of the situation and having the trust and support of each other.

BigBear57

03-05-2003, 08:52 PM

Had it done to me and it hurts like hell, no way I'd do that to anybody I loved. No way.

incitatus

03-05-2003, 11:40 PM

Trouble is........ they DO find out!! Almost always, sooner or later.

Some of you may already know, that this is how my marriage ended.... "grass is greener " etc.etc. ......... well, Bollocks it is!
I am a very lucky guy, in that I found someone who takes me for what & who I am; but who also knows (I hope!) that I would rather cut it off, than even THINK of cheating on her....... she has given me trust that I'm still not sure I fully deserve; she is, quite simply, MY Angel!! SO, the answer is a definite NO.

This is exactly what happened to me -18 years ago and AGAIN 3 years ago...
The lady I'm with now -soon to be my fiance- is my life, my love and my salvation... so, not only no, but HELL NO!

INFIDELITY SUCKS !!!

Whose quote was: "If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence
-water your own lawn"?
BRAVO!

Nobody Special

03-06-2003, 12:05 AM

Ohhhh... I seem to find everything out..... I and I see that you admit it as well.... ;)

well considering that my wife is psyckic I wouldn't have a snowballs chance in hell of hiding it from her.....

E

TinkerBell69

03-06-2003, 08:02 AM

I kissed a guy in a club, behind my bfs back.

I was so drunk I didnt remember til my mate told me.

The guilt was tearing me apart, but i still havent told him. I cant. It would tear his sweet little heart into pieces, I couldnt do that. Yes, I know, I was bad enough to do it in the first place, and Im not blaming the alcohol.

It wasnt even that he wasnt giving me all the love n stuff I needed, cos he is, and was.

I really dont know why I did it, but I wish it hadnt happened.

seriousfun

03-07-2003, 01:54 PM

In 18 years of marriage, even with a "dry spell":mad:, I never took advantage of opportunites presented to me.

My ex and I were joking about that the other day, agreeing that maybe if we would have played around a little, we would still be together.

In a subsequent 2.5 year relationship, I didn't stray either. You know, the Golden Rule and all.

Sweet Thing

03-07-2003, 05:38 PM

Never!

incitatus

03-07-2003, 07:56 PM

I wanted to add that I don't condemn anyone who may be involved in something like this.
"Love the person/hate the action"...
Just remember that a break-up is much easier to deal with than lying and deception.
...and that's the Gods-honest-truth.

silentsoul

03-07-2003, 11:17 PM

between the fact that I'm a horrible liar and I have a guilty conscience already my answer would have to be HELL NO! oh yeah, and because Ilove my wife . . . hehe

MikeR89

03-10-2003, 02:30 PM

I love my wife and we have a fun sex life -

However, I have thoughts of others from time to time and have done some reading up on "the lifestyle" and have given some thought to participating in some swinging activities - even if it is some same room/soft swinging activities, I would find it a huge turn on and would keep us honest....

Cobalt

03-11-2003, 12:23 PM

I and my wife now have both had it done to us, that is why we got divorced from them. the good thing is that now WE are together, and love each other VERY much.

quisath

03-11-2003, 12:40 PM

horseman12

03-11-2003, 02:24 PM

what txgrneyes said!!

Deno

03-13-2003, 07:58 PM

No I wouldn't. If I wanted to sleep around I wouldn't of gotten married in the first place and made that promise.

I hate to see people who go out on their SO behind their back, I think it's a low low thing to do. Complete break of trust. And could be deadly with all the STDs around. Just plain wrong in my opinion.

I don't see why people are not honest with their partner.. I know a ton of people who have agreements with their husbands/wifes so that everyone involved is okay with it and no one has hurt feelings. The behind the back thing makes no sense to me.

denny

03-13-2003, 08:14 PM

Yes

Bardog

04-17-2003, 05:16 PM

Yes....
Never have ....yet
Don't want to desire another woman
Don't want to ever hurt my wife
I still Love her with all my heart
But as years have gone by things have changed
She nor I are the same people we were back then.
The real question, as someone asked, is could I live with me.

Sorry to drag up another old thread.
Just needed to vent