Why men are so cool

[IAKaraokeGirl]

A friend of mine passed this along to me. Hope you enjoy!

Why Men are so Damn Cool:

1. Your rear end is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. Same work .. more pay.

11. Wrinkles-add character.

12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.

13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17. One mood, ALL the damn time.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

27. No maxi-pads.

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.

37. The world is your urinal.

[kleclere]

So is that all good? Boy I guess we are cool. Please don't throw stones.

[skipthisone]

Number 6.......My roomates and I in college always had rules that one of us would get less drunk when we went out and be the "babysitter", the object of the babysitter was not to let each other sleep with someone we wouldnt sober....

23...thats because we dont have 5 cats :D

31...Might just be me, but I am an Ironing fool.

[IAKaraokeGirl]

STO, when you decide to change your Avatar and "title," I think "Ironing Fool" should be at the top of your list of possibilities. :D

[skipthisone]

I will take that under advisement

[Lilith]

****Will trade sex for ironing****

[Eros]

Will trade ironing for sex!!

[Lilith]

Deal;)

[kleclere]

Why can't I get deals like that?

[Lilith]

kleclere~ I have lots of ironing that needs done;) unless you'd rather scrub the tub:p

[skipthisone]

Careful kleclere, she just wants you bent over wagging that ass.

[Nice Guy]

Man I wish I could get sex for cleaning the house.

[Lost]

4. I share the garage with my roomate
8. if I get a haircut, somebody better notice or, or or, well, or else
9. hot wax HAS been near my pubic are, although it will NEVER EVER be near my testicles again!!
16. have had MANY pairs of boots that did!
17. one mood? really?
18. there are times I wish this were true, lol
19. HA! so many times Ive had to pack more than 1 bag just for a weekend trip
25. 3 pair of shoes may be, but 3 pair of boot enough? NEVER, hehe
35. not for my nails, I carry a nail file in every coat.. but I KNOW i'm one of very few guys on this one

[axe31]

16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
try wearing safety boots new ones all way are painful

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them no but i have had my crotch and ass checked out during
a conversation

19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase
you have never traveled with a gay man


25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
unless there gay

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
unless there gay

29.unless there gay
and a few others to maybe this list only works for hetro men

37. The world is your urinal. if so why can so few men hit it
when usin the toilet:D
and 38. you understand the off side rule in football and want
to understand it
:confused:

[PantyFanatic]

Originally posted by IAKaraokeGirl
STO, when you decide to change your Avatar and "title," I think "Ironing Fool" should be at the top of your list of possibilities. :D It MUST be time to change the avatar again. :rolleyes:




(whoever you are?):confused:

[Lilith]

**MEN'S MERIT / DEMERIT GUIDE**
>
> For thousands of years, men have tried to understand
> the Rules when
> dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit
> guide will help you to
> understand just how it works.
>
> Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule
> applies: Make the
> woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get
> points. Do something
> she dislikes and points are deducted. You don't get
> any points for doing
> something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the
> game is played.
>
> Here is a guide to the points system:
>
> SIMPLE DUTIES
>
> You make the bed.....+1
> You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative
> pillows......0
> You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
> You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
> You replace the toilet paper roll when it is
> empty......0
> When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to
> Kleenex.....-1
> When the Kleenex runs out you use the next
> bathroom.....-2
> You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with
> wings......+5
> In the snow .....+8
> But return with beer.....-5
> And no liners.....-25
>
>
> You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
> You check out a suspicious noise and it is
> nothing.....0
>
> You check out a suspicious noise and it is
> something.....+5
>
> You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
>
> It's her cat.....-40
>
>
> AT THE PARTY
>
> You stay by her side the entire party.....0
> You stay by her side for a while, then leave to
> chat with a College drinking buddy.....-2
>
> Named Tiffany.....-4
> Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
> With breast implants.....-18
>
>
>
> HER BIRTHDAY
>
> You remember her birthday.....0
> You buy a card and flowers.....0
> You take her out to dinner.....0
> You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports
> bar.....+1
> Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
> And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
> It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and
> your face is painted
> the colors of your favorite team.....-10
>
>
> A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
>
> Go with a pal.....0
> The pal is happily married.....+1
> The pal is single.....-7
> He drives a Ferrari.....-10
> With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
>
>
> A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
>
> You take her to a movie.....+2
> You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
> You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
> You take her to a movie you like.....-2
> It's called Death Cop III.....-3
> Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9
> You lied and said it was a foreign film about
> orphans.....-15
>
>
> YOUR PHYSIQUE
>
> You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
> You develop a noticeable pot belly &exercise to get
> rid of it.....+10
> You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to
> loose jeans and baggy
> Hawaiian shirts.....-30
> You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one
> too.".....-800
>
>
>
> THE BIG QUESTION
>
> She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
> You hesitate in responding.....-10
> You reply, "Where?".....-35
> You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100
> Any other response.....-20
>
>
>
> COMMUNICATION
>
> When she wants to talk about a problem:
> You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
> You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
> You relate to her problem and share a similar
> experience......+50
> You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear
> her saying "well,
> what do you think I should do?".....-100
>
> You have fallen asleep.....-200
>
> IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
>
> You talk.....-100
> You don't talk.....-150
> You spend time with her......-200
> You don't spend time with her.....-500
> You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000
>
> GAME OVER - YOU LOSE !!!

[IAKaraokeGirl]

How FUNNY, Lil. :)

[Vintage Vixen]

Cats and Dogs

What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They`re totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They`re moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

Conclusion: They`re tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of
furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but
don`t hear you when you`re in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they don`t want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give
you a kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

Conclusion: They`re tiny men in little fur coats

:)What would we do without them?