dude33
01-15-2003, 05:21 PM
Received this joke in my email and thought I'd pass it on!
> >Subject: How to shower
> >
> >
> > How to Shower Like a Woman:
> > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
> > according to
> > lights and darks.
> > 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband
> > along the
> > way, cover up any exposed areas.
> > 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note
> > to do more
> > sit-ups.
> > 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
> > loofah, wide
> > loofah, and pumice stone.
> > 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with
> > 43 added vitamins.
> > 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
> > 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced
> > with natural
> > avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
> > 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
> > minutes until red.
> > 9. Wash entire rest of! body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body
> > wash.
> > 10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
> > 11. Shave armpits and legs.
> > 12. Turn off shower.
> > 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
> > Tilex.
> > 14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
> > Wrap hair in
> > super absorbent towel.
> > 15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
> > 16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
> > 17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> > ++++++++++++++++++
> > How To Shower Like a Man:
> > 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
> > them in a
> > pile.
> > 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
> > wiener at
> > her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
> > 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of
> > your wiener and
> > scratch your ass.
> > 4. Get in the shower.
> > 5. Wash your face.
> > 6. Wash your armpits.
> > 7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them
> > off.
> > 8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how
> > loud they sound in the shower.
> > 9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding
> > area.
> > 10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the
> > soap.
> > 11. Shampoo your hair.
> > 12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
> > 13. Pee.
> > 14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
> > 15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because
> > curtain was hanging
> > out of tub the whole time.
> > 16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
> > 17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
> > 18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass
> > wife, pull off
> > towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
> > 19. Throw wet towel on bed.
> >Subject: How to shower
> >
> >
> > How to Shower Like a Woman:
> > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
> > according to
> > lights and darks.
> > 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband
> > along the
> > way, cover up any exposed areas.
> > 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note
> > to do more
> > sit-ups.
> > 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
> > loofah, wide
> > loofah, and pumice stone.
> > 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with
> > 43 added vitamins.
> > 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
> > 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced
> > with natural
> > avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
> > 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
> > minutes until red.
> > 9. Wash entire rest of! body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body
> > wash.
> > 10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
> > 11. Shave armpits and legs.
> > 12. Turn off shower.
> > 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
> > Tilex.
> > 14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
> > Wrap hair in
> > super absorbent towel.
> > 15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
> > 16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
> > 17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> > ++++++++++++++++++
> > How To Shower Like a Man:
> > 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
> > them in a
> > pile.
> > 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
> > wiener at
> > her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
> > 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of
> > your wiener and
> > scratch your ass.
> > 4. Get in the shower.
> > 5. Wash your face.
> > 6. Wash your armpits.
> > 7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them
> > off.
> > 8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how
> > loud they sound in the shower.
> > 9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding
> > area.
> > 10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the
> > soap.
> > 11. Shampoo your hair.
> > 12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
> > 13. Pee.
> > 14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
> > 15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because
> > curtain was hanging
> > out of tub the whole time.
> > 16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
> > 17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
> > 18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass
> > wife, pull off
> > towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
> > 19. Throw wet towel on bed.