normal sex,, uninterested

[mtavistar]

I love my fiance with all my heart, and he fucks me like no other, but I am still tempted by other men. Although that we agreed just thinking about another person is cheating, I can't help but do it. I crave another man kissing me, but only if my fiance is watching. My dad says this is normal, and I have to realize that I've committed to one person, and he needs to aprove all. Can I renegotiate, or I am I stuck with nothing, ever?

[lizH]

I'm married, and committed to my husband. He and I both know that you absolutely *cannot* control who attracts you, and that you may have thoughts of doing something sexual with them. To deny that is simply to be in denial of what you are thinking and feeling as a human being, and out of touch with yourself.

It makes sense to agree to not do some things with people, or only do them under some circumstances or some limitations. I.e., don't leave me for them, and don't tell me about it.

[GermanSteve]

I think in the best kind of relation you can talk about everything. If you can´t help thinking about others it is a part of you. If it is a part of you you should talk about it (and should be allowed to do so).
Negotiable is only the part of what to do or what not to do.

[Lilith]

There are too many biological/pysiological factors involved with attraction for your fiance to expect that you will never be attracted to others. It's unrealistic. It is normal to imagine what sex would be like with other people. If he tells you he doesn't think sexual thoughts about others then he is not being honest.

In a relationship with great communication you can talk about these thoughts with out the other person feeling threatened. I wish you tons of luck!

[Cobalt]

WE have the saying "You can look at the menu, but don't order."
It is human nature to fantasize about others.
Communication is the key. - but sometimes it is best left unsaid.

[Nuelaan]

Personally I expect my fiancee and I to be COMPLETELY monogomous, but thinking about others can't be helped.( I am not condemning those who have open relationships, its just not us) I am curious though, when he says thinking of others is out, does he mean fantasizing you're with someone else while you are having sex with him, cause that is kind of understandable.

[quisath]

What goes on in the MIND is for you and no other........................Reality is what matters Most and good communication is the key.

[Brunettesgirl]

I agree communication is the key to any relationship. Hubby and I often say, when we stop looking, admiring others, our eyes must be closed. I believe if we are sexual beings, hey some people aren't, we will always wonder what its like to be with others in some way, and I don't believe that is being unfaithful to your partner, not to admit it, is to be unfaithful to yourself.