Penis Anyone???????

[Lilith]

List of Penises


The Taco Bell Penis
Yo quiero penis.

The 7-Up Penis
The UN-penis.

The AT&t Penis
Reach out and touch someone.

The Alka-Seltzer Penis
Pop, pop, fizz, fizz...Oh, what a relief it is...

The All State Penis
You're in good hands.

The American Express Penis
Don't leave home without it.

The Army Penis
Be all that you can be.

The Bacardi Penis
Taste the feeling.

The Beef Penis
It's what's for dinner.

The Bic Lighter Penis
Go ahead and flick my penis

The Big Red Penis
It's longer with big red.

The Borden Penis
It's GOT to be good.

The Borg Penis
Resistance is futile.

The Bounce Penis
With Static-Guard!

The Bounty Penis
The quicker picker-upper.

The Miller Lite Penis
Great taste, less filling.

The Budweiser Penis
This bud's for you

The Burger King Penis
Have it your way

The Campbells Soup Penis
Mmmm mmm good

The Captain Planet Penis
Go PENIS!!

The Charmin Double Roll Penis
It lasts longer because it IS longer.

The Charmin Penis
Don't squeeze the penis!

The Chevy Truck Penis
Like a rock!

The Chips Ahoy Penis
Betcha bite a chip.

The Visa Penis
It's everywhere you want to be.

The Crest Penis
Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.

The Dairy Queen Penis II
We treat you right!

The Dairy Queen Penis
Hot eats, cool treats

The Diet Coke Penis
Just for the taste of it...

The Domino's Pizza Penis
Delivers in 30 min or less

The Doublemint Penis
Chewing really satisfies.

The Dr. Pepper Penis
Wouldn't you like to be a penis too?

The Edge Shaving Cream Penis
Ultimate closeness, ultimate comfort.

The Eggo Penis
Leggo my penis

The Energizer Penis
It keeps going and going

The Equal Penis
Tastes like Sugar.

The Excedrin Penis
It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.

The Extra Penis
Lasts an extra extra extra long time

The Flintstone's Vitamins Penis
10 million strong and growing

The Folger's Crystals Penis
It's freeze dried to seal in the freshness.
The best part of wakin up is a penis in your cup.


The Ford Penis
Built Ford tough

The Frosted Flakes Penis
They're GGGR RRRRR EEEEAA AAATTT!

The Generic Penis
One size fits all.
The Gilette Penis
The best a man can get.

The Heinz Penis
Good things come to those who wait.

The Highlander Penis
There can be only one.

The Janet Jackson Penis
What have you done for ME lately?

The Jell-o Penis
Watch it wiggle, see it jiggle.

The Juicyfruit Penis
The taste is gonna move ya.

The Kenny Rogers Penis
You've got to know when to hold 'em.

The Kentucky Fried Chicken Penis
Everybody needs a little.

The Kix Penis
Kid tested, mother approved.

The Lava Lamp Penis
Hee hee hee!!!!!

The Lays Penis
Betcha can't eat just one.

The Life Call Penis
It's fallen and it can't get up.

The Life Penis
Mikey likes it.

The Life Savers Penis
Five fruity flavors.

The Little Caesar's Penis
Penis!! Penis!!

The Little Caesar's Penis
Pleaser!! Pleaser!!

The Lucky Charms Penis
They're magically delicious

The McDonald's Penis II
Have you had your break today?

The McDonald's Penis
Over 8 billion served.

The Macintosh Penis
Power is everything.

The M&M Penis
Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

The Magnavox Penis
Smart. Very Smart.

The Mazda Penis
It just feels right.

The Maxwell House Penis
Good to the last drop

The Micro Machines Penis
A whole world, in the palm of your hand.

The Milk Penis II
Got penis?

The Milk Penis
It does a body good.

The Mortal Kombat Penis
Nothing can prepare you.

The Mr. Clean Penis
Is it wet or is it dry?

The Neon Penis
Hi.

The Nike Penis
Just do it.

The Nintendo Penis
Now you're playing with power.

The Nuprin Penis
Little, Yellow, Different.

The Nyquil Penis
The nighttime coughing, sneezing, runny-nose, itching, burning, so you can rest penis.

The Payday Penis
Its almost totally nuts!

The Pizza Hut Penis
Makin' it great.

The Pringles Penis
Once you pop, you can't stop

The Purdue Chicken Penis
More meat, less bone.

The Ragu Penis
Comes out chunkier than the rest.

The Raid Penis
Kills bugs dead.

The Rave Music Penis
Ya'll ready for this?

The Reese's Penis
How do you eat your penis?

The Rice Krispies Penis
What does your penis say to you?

The Rick James Penis
It's superfreaky.
The Right Guard Penis
Anything less is uncivilized

The Robitussin Penis
Used by nine out of ten moms.

The Robutussin Penis II
Recommended by Dr. Mom...

The Rush Limbaugh Penis
Bald and fat.

The Sears Penis
Come see the brighter side of penis.

The Secret Penis
Strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a woman.

The Sega Penis
PENIS!

The Skittles Penis
Taste the penis

The Snickers Penis
It satisfies you.

The Sony Play Station Penis
You are not ready.

The Sprite Penis
Image is nothing... Taste is everything. Obey your Penis.

The Star Wars Penis
Use the penis, Luke!

The Starburst Penis
The juice is loose.

The Subway Penis
Where fresh is the taste

The Swiss Miss Penis
The taste you can enjoy anytime, anywhere!

The Timex Penis
Takes a lickin and keeps on tickin

The Tombstone Penis
What would you like on your penis?

The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis
How many licks DOES it take...?

The Toyota Penis
I love what you do for me.

The Transformers Penis
It's more than meets the eye.

The Twizzler Penis
It makes mouths happy.

The Uncle Sam Penis
We want you.

The Virginia Slims Penis
You've come a long way, baby.

The Wendy's Penis
Where's the beef?

The Wonder Bubbles Penis
Magic wand inside!

The Wonder Bubbles Penis II
For ages 3 and up

The Yellow Pages Penis
Let your fingers do the walking.

The Rolaids Penis
It spells relief

The Mylanta Penis
My Doctor said my penis

The Stick-Ups Penis
Stick it to em with penis!

The NBC News Penis
Now more than ever..

The Jello Penis
There's always room for penis

The Pork Penis
The other white meat

The Grand Prix
Wider is Better

The Colgate Penis
Now that's something to smile about

The Hamburger Helper Penis
makes a great meal!

The Coco Puff Penis
you'll go cuckoo for penises.

The Taco Bell Penis II
make a run for the penis.

The Wheaties Penis
the breakfast of champions.

Exxon Penis
Put a penis in your tank

Lucent Penis
We make the things that make penises work

Ocean Spray Penis
Crave the Penis

Staples Penis
Yeah, we got penis

[Lilith]

125 THINGS NEVER TO SAY DURING SEX

1) is it in?
2) that's it?
3) you've got to be kidding me.
4) (phone rings) hello? oh nothing and you?
5) do I have to pay for this?
6) do I have to call you tomorrow?
7) oh momma, momma!
8) oh dadda, dadda!
9) you look better in the dark.
10) this is much better than my last girl/boyfriend.
11) I thought that goes in the other hole....
12) don't tell my husband/wife.
13) you have the same bra my mom does (worse if the girl says it) .
14) this sucks.
15) can you finish now? I have a meeting...
16) I hope you don't expect a raise for this...
17) I think you might get the job for this.
18) damn! is that all you know what to do.
19) did I tell you, I have herpes?
20) now we must get married.
21) hurry up, the games about to start.
22) I'm hungry.
23) I'm thirsty.
24) zzzzzzzzzzzz.
25) are you trying to be funny?
26) can I have a ride home after this?
27) are those real?
28) by the way, I want to break up.
29) is that smell coming from you?
30) haven't you ever done this before?
31) wow!! I've never seen those before (then grope wildly) .
32) do you know what some female spiders do after sex?
33) you're so much like your sister....
34) your mom's cute.
35) what's your name again?
36) do I have to be here in the morning?
37) a second time? I barely stayed awake the first time!
38) but you just started!!
39) you're about as good as a 9 year old, and I should know!!
40) don't touch that!!
41) can we order a pizza?
42) I think my dad is listening at the door.
43) smile for the camera, honey!!!
44) take off that damn monkey glove!!
45) get your hand out of there!!
46) I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.
47) I knew you wore a padded bra!!
48) cover me boys, I'm going in!!!
49) DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!
50) Fire one!
51) God, that is small!!
52) hold on, let me change the channel...
53) who smells like fish?
54) is it O.K. if my mom (and/or dad) joins in?
55) your best-friend does it much better.
56) hope you don't mind I left my boots on.
57) hurry up, the motor's runnin'.
58) you're fogging up the wind-shield.
59) can I borrow 5 bucks?
60) what the hell noise was that?!
61) stop moaning, you sound so stupid.
62) shut up, bitch! (worse if the girl says it)
63) you know, you're not really attractive.
64) I'm sorry, I was not listening.
65) what, oh yea, I love you too, now let me concentrate!!
66) stop interrupting me!!
67) I have to take a shit.
68) did I leave the iron on?
69) your breath is funky.
70) (start singing Green Day) .
71) is it O.K. if I call someone, its O.K. though, keep going....
72) its OK honey, I can imagine that its bigger.
73) god I wish you were a real woman.
74) why can't you ever shave your legs?
75) by the way, when I drove over here, I ran over your dog....
76) oh Susan, Susan... I mean donna.... shit.
77) your breast milk is like my mom's....
78) you're hairy!!
79) your "happy trail" led me to a dead end.
80) is it O.K. if I never see you again?
81) did I forget to tell you I got worms from my cat?
82) don't make that face at me!
83) all of a sudden I have a headache.
84) you're boring.
85) I like your tits.
86) suck my dick, bitch.
87) how much do I owe you?
88) How come we each have a penis?
89) of course you can't be on top, you're too fat, you'll kill me!
90) your ass is hairy (the guy says this) .
91) just use your finger, its bigger.
92) does your family have to watch?
93) we'll try again later when you can satisfy me too.
94) get off me, I'll do it myself!!!!
95) can you hold this sandwich for me?
96) you're as soft as a sheep, inside and out.
97) the only reason I'm doing this is because I'm drunk.
98) my mom taught me this.....
99) how cute... peach fuzz!
100) Damn girl! my tits are bigger than your's!
101) should I ask why you're bleeding?
102) this is my pet rat, Larry....
103) if you can't do it, I'll find someone else who can!
104) I haven't had this much sex since I was a hooker!
105) I was once a woman...
106) wanna see me take out my glass eye?
107) no I don't love your mind, I can't grab that!!
108) is it O.K. if I tell my friends about this?
109) I'm sobering up and you're getting ugly!
110) you wanted me to use a condom?
111) you're no better than my brother!!
112) mooooo!!
113) Fire in the hole!!!
114) I wanna see how many quarters I can fit in there.
115) hurry up, I'm late for a date.
116) O.K. start...oh! that feels so... YOU'RE DONE??!!
117) you ever see basic instinct?
118) I'm out of condoms, can I use a sock?
119) don't squirm, you'll spill my beer.
120) Did I tell you where my cold sore came from?
121) you got boogies showing.
122) (start reciting the 10 commandments) .
123) I think I just shit on your bed.
124) of course I don't love you.
125) let me spell it out for you, b-r-e-a-t-h m-I-n-t.

[martian]

The Tic-Tac Penis

The One and a Half Calorie Penis



The Superman Penis

Strange Visitor from Another Planet, with Powers and Abilities far beyond those of Ordinary Men. . .


The Shadow Penis

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Penis Knows. . .


The Hulk Penis

You wouldn't want to see me when I am angry. . .

[Nikki]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!:D :D

[horseman12]

ROFLMAO, damn,,,,,,,,,damn,,,,,,,,,damn!

[Lorelei]

Originally posted by Lilith
125 THINGS NEVER TO SAY DURING SEX

There are many on this list that sounds perfectly OK to me. :)

[axe31]

how about some thing for the weekend?

[Vigil]

What do you call a man with a big cock?





Phil


what do you call a man with a small cock?







Justin

[FussyPucker]

you shouldn't say 86) "suck my dick, bitch." well damn how am I gonna get her to do it then ?