Raped!

[BamaKyttn]

most of us know that people get raped, some of us have heard of people in town etc who have been raped, Fewer of us know people who have been raped, and even fewer of us have been raped ourselves. most of this is supposition, I've only talked to a few people on here who have been raped but I'm sure there are more. I want to say here that you can poll anonymously but you can't post as such and no one is required to explain themselves.This is an open discussion and a chance to talk, listen, and know that no one is truly alone.

I was raped. Twice. Two different men, two different races, two differnt towns, three years apart (thought I was gonna say two didn't ya?) two different types, and I guess both my fault. I know what you're saying, no ones fault but his...... but the older I get I think I was just looking for a way to lose my virginity without it being my fault. anyway the first time I guess it wasn't technically rape he just ground me into gravel and fingered me..... I was 13 he was about 25 I guess black guy I had never met or seen although I notice him now, everytime I see his car kinda hard to miss the only big-bird yellow honda in a small town... I was out at 1 am, alone middle of no where...... anyway long story short I was in the wrong place at the wrong time there was a struggle I ran him into the brick wall of a carwash, (thats where I was waiting on someone) dented his car with my foot pushing off somehow I ended up on the ground..... anyway I limped home later holding my pants on because they were ripped. and so was I, still have scars on my back from the rocks.

the second time I knew better than to go to this guys house but I went and took two friends with me as back up at 16 the worst thing to do is always the most attractive.... well we all got a little out of our gourds but before I got fucked up I said "I'm coming in here a virgin, and I want to walk out a virgin..." I walked out bow legged, my best friend at the time lost her virginity at the same time on the other side of the wall.

thats my story and now at 19 and a lesbian I guess I just want to know that I'm not the only person in the world who has been hurt by others. once again I would like to say that no one has to post but please I would like to get some stats.

BamaKyttn

[fzzy]

Bama - I think the statistics I remember from many years ago was that the "estimate" is that 1 in 10 women is raped (in the US).... and they have always assumed that estimate is low .... maybe very low because so many rapes go unreported. I have never been raped, but I know the details of at least one friend who was .... and I suspect, since I have a lot of female friends, that I know a few more who have been raped and just have never told me about it! You are not alone, you are among friends and you have the strength to make sure any victim mentality you carried with you in the past is washed away!

[RandyGal]

Sweetie I've had a ton of pretty awful stuff (sexual) happen to me....would be glad to email you but there were several things, all of which contributed for many years to who I was......

I would be more than happy to share with you about some of my experiences if you wanna PM or email me. :)


Don't ever go saying it was your "fault"...even though I understand totally where you're coming from in saying that. As you age and learn more about what motivates people to HURT other people, you will HOPEFULLY come to realize that you didn't ask for what you got. You didn't EARN it in some way....

nothing could be further from the truth.


Please PM me.

[RandyGal]

I would like to add something here..

Just because you/we/I LIKE or LOVE sex...and all things sexual does NOT mean we earn or deserve to be raped, hurt, abused or otherwise thought less of.


I fantasize about some pretty edgy sex play sometimes but that doesn't MEAN that I ENJOYED it when an old boyfriend tried to strangle me to "see what it felt like to fuck someone unconscious"....................I did NOT earn or deserve that kind of horror.

[BamaKyttn]

Shoulda Known

We all know better
Than to step out at night
So we carry protection
Guns don't make it right.

We take the chance
We pay the price
We relinquish our freedoms
It's our own life we sacrifice.

It's our fault
We made the choice
Still no one listens,
Hears our voice.

He spoke with soothing words
In his calm, low tone
Assuring the poor girl
Waiting all alone.

"I'll wait with you"
"I could take you home"
"You don't have to stay here "
"Not here, beautiful, not all alone"

"Want to sit in my car?"
"Here, sit down baby, right inside"
"Need to go somewhere baby?"
"Here, I'll give you a ride."

"Aww, comeon sweetheart"
"What's wrong with you?"
"I'm a good, stand-up guy"
"What do you think I'm gonna do?"

Ever trusting
She stayed and talked
Ever trusting
Little girl you shoulda walked.

Little girl it's all your fault
Don't start to cry
Little girl, you're on your own,
Ask yourself why.

Poor little child
She should have know
Too much faith in the world
Now she's been shown.

The world is mired
In filth and mud
The innocent shall pay
In pain and blood

Katherine Rogers '99

[Grumble]

Hi dear Kyttn

You already know because we have spoken about it in private, but I was homosexually gang raped at 16 years old. 5 guys, I was also punched about the face. It was all blanked out of my mind sub conciously nad the memories have only come back in the last 15 months but the way my emotions were effected has been very debilitating.

I know you are a nice person Hun and no one deserves to be raped or molested. I know that i never did but I have always felt unworthy of love somehow and it is hard to get past.

big hugs to you K

[BamaKyttn]

((((((((((((((((((((((GG)))))))))))))))))))))) we all love you and to us you're completely worthy of it and anyone who says you aren't can bugger off.


kisses to you I.

[krzykrn]

I wasn't going to post but...after reading this a few times I thought I would share. But first off to reiterate what Randygal and Grumbleguts have said...NO ONE deserves to be raped. There are five types of people I hate (hate is a strong word, I tend not to use if if I can) and rapists and child molesters fill two of those spots.

That being said the first woman I ever loved told me her history one night...and I learned she was brutally raped three times by three different men, all boyfriends...to say it made me angry is putting it very lightly. I am sorry that this has happened to you BamaKyttn and Grumbleguts, and for the others who polled anon...I only urge you if you have not, to seek counseling, the scars are deep and will take long to heal. I can't tell you how many nights of crying, screaming and yelling I had to comfort...it broke my heart every time, and made me wish I could find these men, drag them in a dark alley and teach them the true meaning of fear...

Sorry, I am not a violent man at all (the few who know me here know that)...but after reading these posts are leading me down memory lane. Just know that people out there are hoping one day you are able to overcome the past and be happy once again, take care.

[Summer]

I was 13 in downtown Atlanta going to a punk rock show at the Metroplex. I had been sorta flirting with this very cute punk rock guy at the show. We had started a conversation and were talking the whole time. After the show a bunch of people were going to the place in which he resided. Everyone was drinking and using drugs, including myself. Somehow the next thing I remember was that he punched me so hard I fell to the floor and kinda blanked out. When I had come to he had already ripped my panties off and proceeded to have his way with me as a few male onlookers laughed. After he finished I got up quickly ran to the bathroom crying. I then hopped out the bathroom window to get the hell out of there as they began banging on the bathroom. It was cold but not terribly cold. I made it back to a friend's apartment roughly 8-10 city blocks away and he let me in. He took me straight into his bathroom and began helping me get cleaned up. This was the first time that something of this nature had happened to me from a non-family member (but wasn't the last).

This was a life turning event for me, as any sexual trauma is. I would never wish anything of this nature on anyone. Not even my worst enemy. I would not want to go back in time and change this from happening because of one simple reason. I like who I am today!

Thank you BamaKyttn for starting this thread and allowing us to open up. Talking about these things are what helps us heal and grow.
-Summer

[kleclere]

As someone who was molested once by a neighbor. I know what you are going through. All of you didn't deserve and it wasn't your fault. Never had counseling but it may help someday. Am handling so far, but you are not at fault. If you ever need to talk feel free. Ken

[axe31]

i had a freind she was raped on a date (i dont call it date rape rape is rape) and to my shame i did not handle it right when she
told me i stormed over to his flat and beat the shit black and blue
when i should have been there for her it messed up our freindship
she never said it but i think i scared her when i lost my temper when she needed a freind iwas to busy thinking with my fists

guys if you ever have a loved one come to you for help after
they have been hurt this way dont show anger only understanding and love and when alone then scream and
shout above all be the freind i was not

[BamaKyttn]

Counseling has helped me, as well as talking about it with a few close friends, at this point my shrinks are telling me I'm bi-polar (manic depressive) dunno I think I'm just stressed. (my parents make me break out in hives every time I talk to them......) I feel though that I have made my peace with my short commings and with my misjudgments..... I'm sure you're all thinking "oh boy this is where she says that god saved her....... tune out time...." no, I didn't "find god" she found me in every day that goes by and I am able to practice my beliefs without self doubt or pity.

[Grumble]

I have not told this story in full to amy one but my psychiatrist but I am in an unburdening frame of mind. My friend Kyttn is so brave and a truly lovely person and she shared the pain of it as did Summer.

To beraped is something that shreds you and makes you feel indescribably dirty and unclean. The mental scars are far worse than physical. You never forget you just learn to live with it. Knowing that others know you were raped is hard too. It makes you feel like damaged goods.

I was in the australian air force as an apprentice. We all lived in shared accomodation, there were about 1000 airmen on the base. I had been to the base cinema and decided to go for a walk before going back to my block and bed. I was walking by the squash court which was dark and away from general foot traffic areas. a couple of guys approached me and one wanted to fight me. I hated fighting and refused he said that I could fight or pull down my pants and wank myself if i didnt. I called him a cunt and tried to run away but the other guy tripped me. the first one started punching me and the other one held me. 3 other guys came out of the squash courts and they all carried me inside.
They pulled of my jeans and undies and held me down over a chair and one by one rammed themselves in to my anus.

It was exceptionally painful. I bled and was found sobbing by a cook going to work. He called the air force police and i was taken to the base hospital. Then and to this day i cannot remenber the face of the guys. It was dark but my mind was clouded with terror.

Until 15 months ago I had been unable to remember this, i knew there was something scary in my past but as i was also the victim of child abuse as a child I thought it was that. Only after i resolved things with my dad and was able to forgive and love him did these memories surface. It explained a lot of why I am such a wreck emotionally.

From what i gather i was not given any counselling at the time.

[sassylove]

I counsel survivors of sexul assault and while I have never been in that situtation myself...I just want to say for the record that I don't care if you are walking in a dark alley naked at 3 am....NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE VIOLATED......

At someone poseted earlier that the stat was 1 in 10 women are sexually assaulted, the actual stat at this time is 1 in 6 women...now that is pretty damn scarey!!!

[Aqua]

It started, I don't know exactly, when I was 8 or 9 years old I think. I'd be at the babysitter's house. He was in his mid-twenties and lived with his Mom and was a 'friend of the family'. He had stacks of porn mags in his closet that he'd show me, and it wasn't long before he had his pants down and was instructing me in how to give him a bj. Then he'd have me lay down on his bed and he'd just hump me until he came. That's all that would happen, although it happened several times a year, until I was 12 or 13, and he noticed my penis was developing. He must have figured I was old enough to endure his penis inside me, 'cause that's exactly what he did. Talk about tuning out... I was there, but I wasn't, if that makes any sense. It didn't hurt, thankfully. I am also thankful it wasn't a violent forceful thing. Although I think if I hadn't been so compliant he could've been forceful. Like Summer though, I do like who I am today. However, if anything like that happened to my child, I think I would be apt to take on a solution like Axe's. The thing I find strange is that a lot of women I've dated were rape victims as well... something I wouldn't find out until after we had started dating.

[Summer]

I am with you Aqua on the "watch the fuck out" if anything like this was to happen to my children. Unfortunately the first person who ever sexually victimized me still lives in the same house with my mother and is still married to her. Since my mother chooses to stay with him my children never get to visit her unless she comes to the state I live in.
-Summer

[BamaKyttn]

I wish I had let my b/f go after the first guy, the second, as I said I think I was just wanting to offically lose my virginity without it being my fault.....

[SexKittten_18]

I'm not gonna bother to say that it wasn't your fault...just about everyone else that's posted has said so no use in me sayign it is there? I've had more than a few of my friends raped. Been nearly raped myself on quite a few occasions. The ones that I remember the most are when I was 5, 7 and 16. The first two were by my step-sisters' father...he decided that he liked little defenseless girls I guess. I've never really been able to get over it, even talking about it doesn't always help.

I just don't understand how people can do sick things like that. The third time was by a guy I had a crush on, he was drunk so maybe it wasn't his fault. Maybe it was mine for leading him on. I don't know but I know after that I haven't been able to be comfortable at parties or aruond guys I don't know. I can't seem to trust them. I keep looking over my shoulder and wondering if one of them will succeed where the others failed. You hear lots about girls being raped on the news, especially lately. And every night I come home from school, looking over my shoulder and wondering if tonight will be my turn.

[Xpose]

When events like these reach the media, attention turns towards catching the perpetrators, and then retribution, usually through the judicial system.

Axe31 ~ it was very interesting to hear you advise against such summary justice, most of us would have at least wanted to react in this way. And believed this would have made the victim as well as ourselves feel a lot better, and maybe the matter dealt with.

Grumbleguts ~ On the topic of revenge, as this appauling attack took place on a military base, one would assume it was relatively easy to identify the culprits? Did it help at all when your attackers were caught and punished. Assuming they were of course.

[Lisa976]

Like someone else,,when I saw this post I wasn't going to post but figured you all had the guts so I should to. Mine was a b/f who supposedly loved me and cared for me, and for all you that say it's your fault-I also think that, I stayed with him after the first,second,third and fourth time he did it, I was stupid and naive he said it wouldn't happen again he was sorry and I stupidly believed him. I would cry and say no and it didn't matter, he didn't care that I was bleeding, and hurt looking back I think he liked it,,almost like that was his goal, to make me bleed. He didn't just use himself either, whatever was handy made a good tool to cause me pain to punish me for whatever suppossed act I did that day that might have embarrassed him or whatever his rational was, there was no rational to what he did, a year later I found out how much damage he did not ony to my mental well being but physically I had to have surgery to repair the damage, let alone the years of thearpy and all the other things I did to myself. I look at mine different I let him continue to do it,by staying with him,,,I was stupid, and a very young 19. It did help to make me who I am today but there are parts of that person I don't like much because of it,,,,and I am still working on that,,,it has been over 7 years since I have even seen this person in the flesh but I still have nightmares about it and him,,I just wish they would go away,,
Anywazz sorry for rambling but thought I would share since everyone else was soo good too

[DallasLiving]

I have been reading this thread, and been comtemplating on whether to post a comment or not.

First off, May I say to everyone. My hat is off to each one of you that have posted. Even though I know how hard it was for you to bring up the terrible things that have happened to you.

I guess I am one of the lucky ones, I was touched when I was younger by another guy, but I got away before anything happened. It is unfortunate that alot of people don't.

The closest I have been to this situation was with my ex wife. She was raped by a group of guys, and I will forever be blessed that she could still trust me when I got there to her and not be afraid of me.

Like someone else said, once I knew she was safe and secure, and nobody else could hurt her. It took quite a few of my friends from finding these guys and doing some serious damage to them permanently. I knew where they worked and could've very easily tracked down all the other information. Would it have solved anything, No. But what it would've done is make sure that a creature like that could never hurt another person that someone else loved. I never did go through with my thoughts and I won't illerterate on what they were, lets just say that I pulled every little thought I had ever read or thought of for revenge and it was all going through my mind.

The creatures that think that they can do things like this to people are one of the lowest forms of lifeforms there are. They feed off of another person's fears and pain.

I know I am rambling, it happens sometimes. But what I wanted to say mainly is.

For each every person that has opened themselves up and let us know what has happened. You have my deepest wishes that your life will forever on, be filled with happiness and safety. Everyone of ya'll are a testiment to the strength of your souls to show us that even though someone may have hurt you in a way that can never be totally healed, you are still here and strong enough to not let it stop you.

Sorry for babbling, just know you have my heartfelt Respect.

[whatswithme69]

Originally posted by SexKittten_18
I keep looking over my shoulder and wondering if one of them will succeed where the others failed. You hear lots about girls being raped on the news, especially lately. And every night I come home from school, looking over my shoulder and wondering if tonight will be my turn.


SexKittten_18, u dont have to worry about being raped as long as im around. i promise with everything i am that i will never let anything happen to you. i love you and you're safe now.

[SexKittten_18]

Thank you love, but I'm one of the lucky ones, it's never happened to me. Almost is not the same as having it happen for real. I think there are many people out there that need that same kind of protection that you give me. I wish there was one of you for everyone that needs someone like that to help them get through it.

[Grumble]

I still cannot remember all the details. I can remember having to look at all the guys on the base through a tinted window. They marched them all up, I could not recognise any and all i wanted to do was hide. Another airman overheard a couple of guys talking about it and told the police who they were. Under intense questioning they confessed but did not identify their accomplices.
My sketchy recollection made it unwise to prosecute but these guys were discharged immediately.

It gives me no comfort really. I lost so much in that attack and it was buried so deep it took more than 30 years to resurface.
I am a gentle person and hate that people are violated like this.

[katekate42]

I just want to send out all my love to you guys and gals who have experienced this. I have two friends who have been raped, and the emotional scars and trauma they have endured just breaks my heart. It is truly sickening that people have it in them to do things like this to others. The closest that I have come to being raped was by an ex-boyfriend, who tried to force me into giving him a blow job. I managed to get away from him, and ran out to my car and left-- I never accepted another phone call or saw him again, and to this day I wonder if he would have tried more if he succeeded in forcing fellatio-- the very thought makes me shake still. I was very lucky to have gotten away from him. When I told my current boyfriend about the situation, he had the same reaction as Axe, wanting to go and rip this guy apart. I guess it is only natural to want revenge. In this case, I just wanted this guy out of my life-- I'm a firm believer that what goes around comes around. Hugs to all of you- You deserve all the love and happiness the world has to offer, and never ever think otherwise.

[Oldfart]

Tornados, earthquakes and human predators are all things beyond our

control. Putting ourselves in situaltions may be an error of judgement

but not a basis for fault.

Unless you set out to get raped, it's not your fault.

[lizH]

I'll discuss several of the previous replies to this thread.

First, if you *do* deliberately set out to "get raped", it's not really rape. It's rough sex. For instance, if you get together with someone and want to roleplay a rape fantasy, that is really no different than any other B&D play.

If you're walking through dark alleys at night, that may not be wise, but it's not your fault even if you do it nude. It's the rapist's choice to force himself (usually) upon you.

Before age 5, I was raped/mollested by a total of 12 people, including 3 women. I didn't ask for it, even though one of my perpetrators told me several years ago that I did. What a sick person! If a 2 year old is laying on the bed stark naked yelling "fuck me", a reasonable thing to do is to tell the child to put their clothes on, and find out where they learned that/those words and behavior, then take the child to a doctor and psychologist, and perhaps notify the police if anything reasonable can be ascertained from the child.

At age 12, I was raped by a stranger, because my stepfather kept dropping me off in an unsafe place in the dark. It was still the rapist's fault; I didn't even have any choice in the matter.

I was raped by my first husband also. I was initially consenting, but he decided to hold me down and force the issue at knifepoint at some point.

Yes, I've had therapy about all of these issues. I'm very much ok with it now. In fact, it has helped whenever I have a friend who comes to me and confide that he or she has been raped or mollested. It *really* helps with the empathy and understanding that they want and need!

Incidentally, I also have a diagnosis of bipolar. It has *nothing* to do with my prior negative sexual experiences. In fact, bipolarity is the most *physically* based brain disorder in existence! That is no more anyone's fault than diabetes. Also, it can be controlled by changing the brain's chemistry.

Oh yeah, I've always liked sex. There were certain things I could not do, and the ones I want to be able to do come back as time goes on and I want them to. There were things that were done to me that I never stopped liking. There were many things that were never done to me, which were never a problem.

I have a "rolling pin" analogy. Sex is like a rolling pin. You can use a rolling pin to beat someone over the head, or use a rolling pin to make a nice pie for them to eat. Likewise, you can use sex to hurt someone, sometimes badly. You can also use sex to give extreme pleasure. You can use sex to share great love.

[DallasLiving]

Very well said, LizH....

And I am sorry to hear that such a thing happened to you especially at such a young age, let alone ever.

Typed out alot more but it was mainly just resaying what you have already said. So I will leave it at, I am glad that those people didn't break your will, and it is great that you are able to help those around you that have gone through it now.

[BamaKyttn]

I just wanted to apologize to DZ for misleading him with my subject title

[dzbuster]

bama no problem
it's just that while i sympathise with people who were raped (my second wife woke up in a park beaten,burned and raped) i also know that women are told by certain groups that it's a sure fire way to get custody and besides myself i know 5 other men (not from a group we were just talking about our divorces) who had their lives and reputations ripped apart. i know more people screwed by this than the otherway around. in case you wonder how come i trust these guys it's because the only place alegations were made is in divorce court although i did face a jury for violating a non-existant restraing order. so if this is a touchy subject for me i ask your indulgance

[celticangel]

I was anally raped last year by a man that I loved. Had found out that he was cheating on me and told him to leave (shortened version!) -----he didn't---------it took me months to accept that this had happened--longer to speak about it. Can now deal with it a wee bit better as realise it was a power thing--nothing to do with sex/love. It really screwed me up----made dangerous and stupid choices for a while---"fuck the pain away"-------but now I am with a sweet guy who makes me feel safe again------I don't have to pretend to be something I am not--------it may take a while,but I feel I am making progress-------the crying is less and the nightmares not as scary. My friends have been excellent and I couldn't ask for more------my family don't know(it would break mum's heart) My man deals with it and how it has left me----not bad for our first 3 months together-------thanks babe.
Sorry for rambling on---and thanks for tking the time to read this!
Hope 03 brings u all peace , strength and love.

[lizH]

CelticAngel,

I'm *so* sorry this jerk (I'm being polite right now) here did such a horrible act to you! What a horrible way to reward "love"!

I'm sorry that you further victimized yourself afterward. A lot of us did or do such things. I certainly did a lot of things to get "back" at myself and at others around me. I was not a nice person for quite a long time. I hope you're ok now. It might be helpful to find a support group of people with similar experiences to share with; they will understand. Therapy can be helpful too.

Offering warm *SAFE* hugs!

[celticangel]

Thanks LizH!

[dm383]

celticangel

SO proud of you babe....... takes a lot to post about personal things, even here....... love ya loads! :eek:

DM

[celticangel]

love u too sweetie-----thanks!

[denny]

Rape is not about sex, it's about power and domination. My brother was beaten and his gf abducted and raped repeatedlyby three youths. She didn't "ask" for it and it wasn't her fault. No one asks for it and it is no one's right to take it.

[Lilith_82]

Okay. Here goes.

When I was 15, my boyfriend at the time.. who was 19, tried to rape me. I broke his jaw with a right hook and ran for my life. He stalked me for 6 months.

At 18, I lost my virginity to rape, to my boyfriend at the time. I had been waiting for marriage, and my boyfriend knew it, but he just didn't respect that, that night. A month later, he broke up with me, but I just.. I felt so worthless, I wanted him back.. I just kept having sex, feeling like he'd already gotten what he wanted, that it was the only way to keep him, blah blah blah. Needless to say, my confidence was shit, and I was doing stupid things. I eventually got pregnant by him, he proposed, I said yes, and then I miscarried. I broke up with him a week later.

Then I met this guy. Rob*. Rob* was my rebound guy. We met, we fucked (a LOT), and I thought things were going just dandy. I had this lovely, BUILT, lusty guy, and that felt good to me. Now, I make it very clear to my boyfriends, girlfriends, and fuckbuddies that I do NOT have sex when I've been drinking. It is a general rule of mine. One night, Rob* and I went out to drink. We drank a LOT. There was a building-crawl going on at my dorm at the university, and we went back to party there. I said no, I wouldn't be having sex, and he said okay, and offered me more wine. He kept filling my glass, and eventually, he shut the door and started kissing me. Kissing felt okay, so I let it happen, but he started trying to undress me, and I said no, no no no no no no. He just wouldn't listen. He hit me in the face, cracking my cheekbone, and then hit me in the mouth (luckily no teeth came loose), but split my lip, and then threw me on the bed... he took the wine bottle, and shoved it up my... it ripped up my insides, till blood was running down my legs onto my bed. Then he turned me over and put his hand around my neck, and ordered me to watch him.. he slipped on a condom, hit my body and face a few more times, and then fucked me. Raped me. Told me he loved me and hated me, told me I was a goddess and a whore. And then I started to scream, and he said he'd kill me if another sound left my mouth. He almost did.. the bruises around my neck were brutal... he held my neck for leverage as he fucked... when he was done, I threw his clothes out the window, and he beat me for it, but had to run through my building naked, and blood-stained to get them.

The police didn't believe me. And the priests at my church blamed me.

I don't have much faith in authority anymore.

[cowgirltease]

Originally posted by krzykrn
it broke my heart every time, and made me wish I could find these men, drag them in a dark alley and teach them the true meaning of fear...

Sorry, I am not a violent man at all (the few who know me here know that)...but after reading these posts are leading me down memory lane. Just know that people out there are hoping one day you are able to overcome the past and be happy once again, take care.

You ought to have one living 2 miles away from you.:mad:

[fun_lovin_bitch]

jeez, that's pretty deep (emotionally)

[FallenAngel5]

*hugs* for Lilith_82... thanks for having the courage to tell your story.

[Teddy Bear]

*hugs* and prayers for all of you and for those reading but not yet ready to post!!

[Lilith_82]

Originally posted by Ready4Ty
*hugs* for Lilith_82... thanks for having the courage to tell your story.
\
Thank you.. I just.. I feel it's important for survivors to be able to tell their stories, and bond with people who can understand...

[katekate42]

I just wanted to send love, peace and hugs to everyone who has posted. I'm a volunteer in our local sexual assault and domestic violence center, and the one thing that I can say is that instead of lessening my faith in humanity, it has increased it exponentially. I am forever in awe of the amount of strength it takes to survive something so unspeakably horrible, and I admire all of your courage for posting your stories- there are very few people whose lives have not been touched by sexual violence, and even if those folks aren't ready to post, just knowing that they are not alone will help.

(((Hugs)))

[Belial]

All I can say is...


((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

to all.

[BlueSwede]

The first time I was alone late at night trying to make it (walking) to the train station in Chicago. I had to walk several blocks down Michigan Avenue, and most everything was closed where I was walking. My boyfriend (future husband and is black) and I secretly met at a theatre to watch a movie together on our way back to college via train. I was going to see the movie w/him, get to the train station, and just spend the night at the train station until in the morning when it would leave for Carbondale (school). He was staying overnight w/relatives and would be given a ride to the train station in the morning. He was too afraid to let them know he and I were dating, so when they picked them up, he didn't ask them to give me a ride to the train station. Thus, I was left to walk there by myself.

At one point I had 2 men coming toward me on the sidewalk and one coming from behind. They weren't together. The man behind me got to me first and forced me into an alley. The other two men instead then just went around us and kept walking. So I consider myself lucky that it was only one and not 2 or even 3. And I blamed myself for being out in that area that late at night by myself...thought it was my fault for being so stupid.

I never told my boyfriend because I was afraid he wouldn't want me anymore; he was still a member of a very fundamental church at that time. And I never reported it because I figured that I would just be branded a slut because my boyfriend was black...kind of a..well, what do you expect from that kind? type reaction.

This was at the very end of 1967. I was 19. The only time it haunts me is when I am very stressed and feel I don't have any control of my situation; then I relive it in nightmares. Once I feel back in control, they go away.

[littlelass]

I was raped when I was in my early twenties by a close friend. Was in university at the time and had suggested that we go back to his place to study. That was fine. Did that a lot in the past and no problems (we were quite close). Unfortunately, I was sick at the time with a bit of a cold/flu and was on some medication. Anyways, it got to the point where he forced me on the bed, etc. I don't remember that much about it these days as I try to move on. It did affect me sexually for some time but starting to come into myself. It also took me a while to trust people (let alone guys) again. I never took any action against it nor told any of my family about it (they would have ripped the guy apart limb from limb).

I applaud everyone's courage who has spoken up in this thread. It takes lots of guts to do that and to face the demon that it is. No one deserves to be hurt or raped or violated. no one

[pepsigirl]

i've never been raped, but i did have a friend that i had been flirty with for take advantage of me during a difficult time. the love of my life had just broken up with me and i went over to be consoled. i was crying and he was hugging me and things happened. maybe it was a rebound thing. but after i thought about it, i felt taken advantage of, when i was at my lowest low. our friendship has never recovered from it.

[Rick Forbes]

My gal of decades is a rape survivor. She was assaulted in grade school. It has been one of the most inspiring experiences of my life to have watched her courageously face the issues that this raised and grow in so many ways as a person. It was also an incredible blessing for me to learn lovemaking alongside a woman who was growing in confidence and a feeling of safety as our relationship grew.

Many of the pixies men have expressed admiration for the courage, sensitivity and intelligence of our pixies sisters. The women who have had the courage to post to this thread (and I suspect the many other survivors who read and post here) have given us a great gift in sharing their feelings and experiences.

Pixies provides a completely unique forum for many people to be sexy and sexual while being respected in the full dimensions of their humanity. My thanks and best wishes to all of you.