Lilith
11-28-2002, 11:42 PM
It will be a holiday to remember if you take her down sweet Clit Lane
Every year about this time, newspapers publish consumer reports on the safety of the toys that kids will be whining about wanting for Christmas - wouldn't want little Johnny to get poisoned or choke on whatever he finds under the tree. Unfortunately, the same thing doesn't exist for adult toys.
So how are you supposed to know if that jelly dong you're hoping will bring your sweetie so much Yuletide joy might instead make her throw up?
Yes, it's true. Jelly toys contain phthalate (remember the hullabaloo a couple years back about this stuff in rubber kids' toys?) and other toxins that can be absorbed through the mucous membranes of the body, like those found in vaginas, mouths and bums. "These chemicals provoke eye, respiratory, skin and mucous-membrane irritation," says Janna L. Sylvest, president of Womyns'Ware Inc., a female-friendly and sex-positive adult products store in Vancouver (www.womynsware.com). "Headaches, cramps and nausea are some of the other side effects that result from exposure [to phthalates]."
Outraged by deceptive advertising practices and shoddy merchandise on offer from the sex industry, Sylvest and company have created a Buyer Be-Womyns'Ware guide.
Armed with research from a network of experts - including staff, significant others, friends and acquaintances who work and study in chemistry, sexual health education, industrial design and the legal profession - Womyns'Ware has done a tremendous job of documenting some of the things consumers should know when it comes to buying sex toys.
Beyond safety, their guidelines for product endorsement also consider design, quality, labour practices of the manufacturer, customer satisfaction, and, well, plain old sex appeal. Like the aforementioned jelly sex toys, for example. Get the sense they're not fans?
"Even if you don't give a crap about the health consequences, the jelly's just plain gross," says Sylvest. "Even if you sheath the thing in condoms every time you take it out of its box, it's still going to degrade and fragment. It absorbs everything it comes into contact with and is impossible to clean. Jelly is also in a constant state of 'off-gassing' so it leaves behind oily stains, fuses to its packaging and starts to stink like an old car tire. Is any part of that sexy?"
Another red flag when shopping for sex toys, says Sylvest, is any product with a "novelty purposes only" warning on the package. Basically, she says, this is a catchall excuse commonly used by the sex-toy industry to protect themselves. "Consumers should equate that label with either horrific substandard quality and/or unsafe materials," she warns.
According to Sylvest, the sex-toy industry is rife with what she likes to call "fucksters" ("like hucksters with an f") and rip-offs. Price gouging is rampant. In most cases, the packaging is worth more than the toy, complains Sylvest. "We could include a new gimmick-a-day warning on our site," she adds. "Maybe we will."
So what should you buy? First of all, Sylvest encourages consumers to ask themselves what they're hoping to gain from a sex toy before they venture out to look for one.
"As our retail manager so succinctly puts it, 'Which buttons do you want to push and how hard?'" explains Sylvest. "The more a person knows about what they want the product to do, the less they'll be led astray by 'staff favourites' and other popularity-contest methods of selling sex toys."
For example, she says, when it comes to vibrators, ask yourself whether your want clitoral or penetrative stimulation (or both) before you decide you must have the Mini Pearl or the oft-lauded Hitachi Magic Wand.
In terms of materials, well, you already know what Sylvest thinks of jelly. As for other choices, plastic toys are good because they're cheap, says Sylvest. On the downside, she adds, "Plastic becomes brittle over time and can never be cleaned sufficiently between uses to allow sharing. And it's rigid, making it not so comfy for penetrative use."
Silicone, on the other hand, is "one big pro."
"It's the longest lasting, the easiest to clean," explains Sylvest. "It's hypoallergenic, warms to the touch, and is sterile, odour-free and resilient. Several manufacturers offer lifetime replacement warranties against defaults in construction or materials."
And while the higher price for silicone may seem like a con (silicone toys retail from $40-$100), you get what you pay for.
Other materials, like some acrylics (including Lucite) and stainless steel, also offer the hypoallergenic benefits of silicone. But, says Sylvest, "unless you're a big fan of unforgiving rigidity, these materials lack the flexibility necessary for comfortable penetrative use."
Other products on Sylvest's what-to-avoid list?
Stay clear of lubes containing nonoxynol-9, she says. "Nonoxynol-9 is a harsh detergent. You wouldn't use Borax for lube so don't use a lube with n-9 either." And don't bother with what she calls "lotions and potions." If the pitch for a lotion or potion sounds like a hoax, it probably is, she warns. "We haven't yet investigated an anal-desensitizing cream, orgasm lotion, or stay-hard potion that hasn't turned out to be a bogus joke in the same vein as those hair-grow tonics and breast-grow miracle pills."
And while Sylvest is suspect of "staff favourites," there are a few toys she does happily recommend. Topping her list: the Clit Lane dual silicone vibrator, $129.85; the Mini Pearl vibrating bullet, $24.85; the Butt Really... silicone anal vibrator, $64.85; the Eroscillator, a unique "vibrator" that oscillates from side to side, $199.85; and glycerine-free Hathor lube (look Ma, no yeast infections!), $14.85 for two ounces.
There you go. If sex toys are on your sweetie's Christmas wish list and throwing up isn't, you've been warned.
As Sylvest puts it, "Being pro-stimulation of the genitals shouldn't turn you into a gullible fool."
Every year about this time, newspapers publish consumer reports on the safety of the toys that kids will be whining about wanting for Christmas - wouldn't want little Johnny to get poisoned or choke on whatever he finds under the tree. Unfortunately, the same thing doesn't exist for adult toys.
So how are you supposed to know if that jelly dong you're hoping will bring your sweetie so much Yuletide joy might instead make her throw up?
Yes, it's true. Jelly toys contain phthalate (remember the hullabaloo a couple years back about this stuff in rubber kids' toys?) and other toxins that can be absorbed through the mucous membranes of the body, like those found in vaginas, mouths and bums. "These chemicals provoke eye, respiratory, skin and mucous-membrane irritation," says Janna L. Sylvest, president of Womyns'Ware Inc., a female-friendly and sex-positive adult products store in Vancouver (www.womynsware.com). "Headaches, cramps and nausea are some of the other side effects that result from exposure [to phthalates]."
Outraged by deceptive advertising practices and shoddy merchandise on offer from the sex industry, Sylvest and company have created a Buyer Be-Womyns'Ware guide.
Armed with research from a network of experts - including staff, significant others, friends and acquaintances who work and study in chemistry, sexual health education, industrial design and the legal profession - Womyns'Ware has done a tremendous job of documenting some of the things consumers should know when it comes to buying sex toys.
Beyond safety, their guidelines for product endorsement also consider design, quality, labour practices of the manufacturer, customer satisfaction, and, well, plain old sex appeal. Like the aforementioned jelly sex toys, for example. Get the sense they're not fans?
"Even if you don't give a crap about the health consequences, the jelly's just plain gross," says Sylvest. "Even if you sheath the thing in condoms every time you take it out of its box, it's still going to degrade and fragment. It absorbs everything it comes into contact with and is impossible to clean. Jelly is also in a constant state of 'off-gassing' so it leaves behind oily stains, fuses to its packaging and starts to stink like an old car tire. Is any part of that sexy?"
Another red flag when shopping for sex toys, says Sylvest, is any product with a "novelty purposes only" warning on the package. Basically, she says, this is a catchall excuse commonly used by the sex-toy industry to protect themselves. "Consumers should equate that label with either horrific substandard quality and/or unsafe materials," she warns.
According to Sylvest, the sex-toy industry is rife with what she likes to call "fucksters" ("like hucksters with an f") and rip-offs. Price gouging is rampant. In most cases, the packaging is worth more than the toy, complains Sylvest. "We could include a new gimmick-a-day warning on our site," she adds. "Maybe we will."
So what should you buy? First of all, Sylvest encourages consumers to ask themselves what they're hoping to gain from a sex toy before they venture out to look for one.
"As our retail manager so succinctly puts it, 'Which buttons do you want to push and how hard?'" explains Sylvest. "The more a person knows about what they want the product to do, the less they'll be led astray by 'staff favourites' and other popularity-contest methods of selling sex toys."
For example, she says, when it comes to vibrators, ask yourself whether your want clitoral or penetrative stimulation (or both) before you decide you must have the Mini Pearl or the oft-lauded Hitachi Magic Wand.
In terms of materials, well, you already know what Sylvest thinks of jelly. As for other choices, plastic toys are good because they're cheap, says Sylvest. On the downside, she adds, "Plastic becomes brittle over time and can never be cleaned sufficiently between uses to allow sharing. And it's rigid, making it not so comfy for penetrative use."
Silicone, on the other hand, is "one big pro."
"It's the longest lasting, the easiest to clean," explains Sylvest. "It's hypoallergenic, warms to the touch, and is sterile, odour-free and resilient. Several manufacturers offer lifetime replacement warranties against defaults in construction or materials."
And while the higher price for silicone may seem like a con (silicone toys retail from $40-$100), you get what you pay for.
Other materials, like some acrylics (including Lucite) and stainless steel, also offer the hypoallergenic benefits of silicone. But, says Sylvest, "unless you're a big fan of unforgiving rigidity, these materials lack the flexibility necessary for comfortable penetrative use."
Other products on Sylvest's what-to-avoid list?
Stay clear of lubes containing nonoxynol-9, she says. "Nonoxynol-9 is a harsh detergent. You wouldn't use Borax for lube so don't use a lube with n-9 either." And don't bother with what she calls "lotions and potions." If the pitch for a lotion or potion sounds like a hoax, it probably is, she warns. "We haven't yet investigated an anal-desensitizing cream, orgasm lotion, or stay-hard potion that hasn't turned out to be a bogus joke in the same vein as those hair-grow tonics and breast-grow miracle pills."
And while Sylvest is suspect of "staff favourites," there are a few toys she does happily recommend. Topping her list: the Clit Lane dual silicone vibrator, $129.85; the Mini Pearl vibrating bullet, $24.85; the Butt Really... silicone anal vibrator, $64.85; the Eroscillator, a unique "vibrator" that oscillates from side to side, $199.85; and glycerine-free Hathor lube (look Ma, no yeast infections!), $14.85 for two ounces.
There you go. If sex toys are on your sweetie's Christmas wish list and throwing up isn't, you've been warned.
As Sylvest puts it, "Being pro-stimulation of the genitals shouldn't turn you into a gullible fool."