ok sit tight this is kinda long so bear with me. i hafta give a little backstory.

ok story starts about 5-6 years ago (dont worry ill jump ahead quickly) when Z and i met (Z being the aforementioned gal) well we became friends quickly and have been so ever scince.

Jump to last year (see?) I realized that somewhere along the way I had fallen in love with her and was just now admitting it to myself. her previous boyfriend, a rather uncouth, unkempt and unpleasant fellow by the name of Derrick, who had also been her friend for several years. they dated and he decided he wanted to date someone else. instead of being a decent person and breaking up withZ first he just started dating whatshername behind Z's back. Z discovered his duplicity and confronted him about it, long story short they havent spoken scince.

present day. I have told her pretty much how i feel, though in letters or peoms rather than speaking the words to her as due to earlier experinces(?) which i wont discuss here, i have an emotional blockage. I can flirt with anyone at all, except people i am really interested in (i can online though, oddly) and i cant make myself express my feeling to them unless i trick myself into it, IE a card with a poem in it.

Well she told me that we were too good as friends to date, that she did not wish to lose what we had already. she fears that the same thing will happen to us that happend to her and derrick, though i am nothing like him. All i can do for now is respect her descision and hope she will change her mind it seems.

problem being I'm not even a little interested in any other women romantically, yes i do lust after some, what hetero male doesnt (dont lie fellas) she is the only person who makes me feel that way, just by being around her, even just stitting together, not touching r even talking i feel like all is right with the world.
She makes me happy, when I'm sad
She makes me warm, when I'm cold
She makes me want her, when I'm gone
She makes me glad, to be alive
She MAKES me.

I can't imagine life without her..its too bleak to contemplate.please help me if you can.

__________________
I may die tomorrow, let today be the best day of my life.
Du darfst mein Bestrafer sein ja.
Fear death? I welcome it like a long gone lover, with open arms and a smile.

My suggestion...

Print off what you just wrote.. and give it to her...

You can't MAKE SOMEONE take the next step with you... BUT.. if you continue to show her that you adore her.. and you continue to be her safe harbor.. then evenetually... she WILL realize what she is passing up... and hopefully she will do so... sooner.. rather than later..

good luck! xxxxxxxx

__________________
Don't pet the sweaty things!!!!

I know that i cannot make her take the next step, indeedi would not wish to force her into anything. perhaps I will do as you say and give her a copy of that. it may help

worth a try anyway

__________________
I may die tomorrow, let today be the best day of my life.
Du darfst mein Bestrafer sein ja.
Fear death? I welcome it like a long gone lover, with open arms and a smile.

Wow Bestrafer Engel! That's quite a quandary!

I'm on the same wave length as jenna.....in that your mightiest tool could be your pen! Your point here was well versed......I didn't misunderstand a moment of the scenario....despite the fact that you skipped over several years.....and so I imagine that "Z" can fill in any empty spaces........as she lived them with you.

I actually have no other advice......except.......if poetry didn't work.....try just spelling it out for her. Make a list of pro's and con's of what would and wouldn't make you the ideal couple. *little hint........don't make the "wouldn't" side bigger than the "would" side!*

Best of luck hun! Put your best ink forward!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

I can only echo Lixy's sentiment, Bestrafer Engel..... and if that little verse of mine helps, do I get a "Finders Fee"?!?!

DM

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The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind

If that verse helps, i will pile praise upon thy head and lay rich offerings at thy feet. I will sing of thine virtues and severely reprimand any who wouldst speak ill of thee....

That and a big hug and lotsa gratitude... he he

__________________
I may die tomorrow, let today be the best day of my life.
Du darfst mein Bestrafer sein ja.
Fear death? I welcome it like a long gone lover, with open arms and a smile.

Cool! (So long as it's a MANLY Hug!!! )

DM

__________________
The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind

A "your team just-won-the-superbowl" bear hug do ya?

__________________
I may die tomorrow, let today be the best day of my life.
Du darfst mein Bestrafer sein ja.
Fear death? I welcome it like a long gone lover, with open arms and a smile.

What a fantastic idea jennaflower bout printing it off and showing her. I compleatly agree with that.

I can completly relate to the last bit u put about when she sits near u etc your happy etc cause i feel exactly the same with my male friend who happens to be my best mate. But unfortunately the circumstances are differant for me than u.

Anyway thats another story. But i think if she really doesnt understand how u feel about her then she needs to be fully aware cause it will break youir heart if u just sit back ior if she does and u both dont do anything bout it .

Good luck.

I know exactly how you feel Bestrafer Engel. Have had that blockage myself and it has taken great efforts to break through it.

I doubt if Z really understands the depths of your feeling or that you are not like Derrick.

It is hard to have the sins of others cause complications for you.

I agree with putting your love down on paper and sharing it with her. best of luck my friend

Grumble

i wud so melt if i read that about me *sigh*
g'luck hun and let us know if u decde to give it to her

~nikki~

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Ravage Me!

Me Time
Long Lonley Night
Tied Up
Teased

http://thesmashedfairy.blogspot.com/

I know what you're going through, mate...

__________________
Pashkin, the Panther
Observer & Connoisseur of the Female Form
A re-introduction

MY LIVEJOURNAL

It's Me & Myself in graphic detail!

Pixies' Eminent Astronomer & Meteorologist at Hull & East Riding Astronomy Society

I'm with jennaflower on this - print the poem off and give it to her.

Best of luck to you, hopefully she will change her mind.

biggest thing is im afriad Im gonna do something and she wont talk to me anymore. I know that we're very good friends and the chance of that happening are almost non-existant, but who says fear is rational?

__________________
I may die tomorrow, let today be the best day of my life.
Du darfst mein Bestrafer sein ja.
Fear death? I welcome it like a long gone lover, with open arms and a smile.