12-23-2004, 07:22 AM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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You know you're addicted to the 'net when ...
* You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on your way back to bed.
* You get a tatoo that reads: "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 2.0 or higher."
* You name your children Eudora, Mozillia, and Dotcom.
* You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap, and your child in the overhead compartment.
* You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.
* You start using smileys in your snail mail.
* Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate to the modem.
* You start introducing yourself as "John Doe at AOL dot com.
* Your cat (or dog) has it's own home page.
* You can't call your mother....she doesn't have a modem.
* You check your mail. It says "no new messages". So you check it again.
* You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
* You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
* You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
* Your start introducing yourself as "Jon at I-I-Net dot com"
* Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
* All of your friends have an @ in their name.
* You can't call your mother..... she doesn't have a modem.
* Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
* You laugh at people with 2400 modems.
* You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
* You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
* You tell the cab driver you live at:
http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
and you have a mirror address at:
http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html
* You actually try that "123.elm.street" address.
* Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
* You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.
* You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 
* You turn on your computer and turn off your spouse.
* Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage..... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
* You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."
* You take a vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.
* You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
* You have to have at least two Internet Service Providers, just in case one goes out....
* When it takes you two days of sending unsubscribe and nomail messages just so you can go out of town for the weekend....
* Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
* You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
* You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off.
* Batteries in the TV remote now last for months.
* When you can't find your local shopping mall without downloading the map and directions from Map It...
* When you'd rather shop at your local mall through their web pages rather than getting into your car and go looking...
__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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