I don't know what's come over me! Suddenly I am willing to share one (the biggest one) of my.......

LIFE'S MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS!!!!!

I am hoping other's will open up.....as a I think this can be rather cathartic! Read mine and if you feel an urge.....share yours as well!

Hold onto your hat's! Here goes.........


Picture this:

Third date with boyfriend (now ex-husband)!

Virgin skier......That's right! I said skier!

He asks me to go to Killington, Vermont. I'd never been to Vermont. WOW! Yes, I'll go but I can't ski. He'll teach me. He was so patient. Gave me all the rules. I was looking good in all that garb! White ski suit, black boots, Rosignol ski's...the works! Step into your ski's! Toe in.....slam down on the heel! Got it...first try! Ok...now sit down! Why? Cause you'll be down there most of the day anyway and you have to know how to get back up! Oh, ye of little faith....ok....I sat. Now get up! Hmmmmm? I can't. He showed me the maneuver. One lesson down! Damn, I'm a good student! Ok....now snow plow! I looked around....I didn't see a snow plow. No......it's a way of slowing down! Oh.....Hmmmm? I look pigeon-toed! But if you say so.....okie dokie! Ok.....now we get on the lift! As the snow comes up to meet your ski's.....you glide off the lift. I can do that......here comes the snow.......I glide off.......looking towards the drop off at the other side of the mountain. TURN RIGHT...he yells as he is moving away from me! You didn't show me how to turn! Oh shit! SIT DOWN NOW! I sat down......I paid attention to that part in the lessons phase of this trip! He came and got me......we moved to an area where we weren't in the way of the "knowledgeable" skiers, and he gave me a few more NECESSARY lessons! I skied the mountain twice and I was ready for a drink!

*And that's NOT even the embarrassing moment!*

TO THE LODGE!

In the lodge:

I fit right in. I looked like a typical "snow bunny"! I walked around in the boots like a Frankenstein's monster! There is no sexy way to trod around in them! And we had hot toddy's! And we drank a few shots! And low and behold......a piano player for our entertainment! This is wonderful! The first song.....American Pie! OMG! I love that song! I sang along.....as did most everyone in the lodge. The lodge was packed with typical skiers! I even saw some aquaintances from my home town! Arggggg....I was trying to "get away from it all". Oh well....no biggy! Hi guys! Yes, it's my first trip to Vermont! Oh noooooo, I ski all the time.....just my first time to Vermont! Ok......so I lied! I didn't want to seem out of place!

The next song........a ditty I had heard when I was younger......"There's a Skeeter on my Peter"! Our pianist had a fun version for us to sing. Audience participation! I am such a ham.....of course I would join right in! Here's how he explained it......

"I'll sing.....there's a skeeter on my peter....and you (the audience) will yell.....Whack It Off!" "I'll ask a few questions......and if they pertain to you......you reply....Whack it Off!" OK.......Ready?

*This is how it went from that moment on*

(Piano guy) There's a skeeter on my peter....
(Audience) WHACK IT OFF!

There's a skeeter on my peter....
WHACK IT OFF

There's a dozen on my cousin, I can hear them bastards buzzin...
There's a skeeter on my peter.....
WHACK IT OFF

(piano guy) All you guys out there who think you'll get lucky tonight.....gimme a WHACK IT OFF!

There's a skeeter on my peter.....
(Every guy in the audience) WHACK IT OFF

All you ladies out there who think you'll let them get lucky tonight....gimme a WHACK IT OFF!

There's a skeeter on my peter......
(Every lady in the audience, including me) WHACK IT OFF

All you guys who think you'll go muff diving tonight...gimme a WHACK IT OFF!

There's a skeeter on my peter......
(Yep! All the guys!) WHACK IT OFF

All you ladies who will go for a mustache ride tonight.....gimme a WHACK IT OFF!

There's a skeeter on my peter......
(Me....and me alone........with all the fervor of the other responses.....but standing this time to show even more support) WHACK IT OFF!!!!!!!!

I heard myself........just me.........no other women to get my back.......just me.......and it echoed!...... OMG! I was so alone!

And then the laughter started!

I could feel the reddness rising from my toes. I had to do something. I turned to face the audience (as we were at the front table by the stage) and I pointed to some of the women in the audience and said, "Liar", you know you are going to ride tonight!" I took a bow. The audience started to applaud! I looked at my boyfriend, who was grinning like a proud Cheshire cat! The piano player was laughing and saying, "I have no way of doing an encore after that!" He took his (entirely too soon) break and left the stage......still laughing. He walked up to me and whispered, "I know they are all liars but you!", and winked at me and went to the bar. I bowed again......grabbed my boyfriends hand and said out loud, "We are getting this evening started early". We made a hasty retreat.......out of the lodge and to our room! We fell onto the bed laughing and...........

Well........that's all you need to know!

NEXT!!!!!!!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hillarious Lixy! Tooo funny....

as for my most embarrassing moment? I will have to sort through them all and rate them, and find out which is the most embarrasing, then I'll let you know! lol!

Great anecdote tho!

CasperTG

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You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.

My Photos:
https://imgur.com/a/80hiRdm

*A Newer Shade Of Red*

TY Casper! Looking forward to some support here!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

too funny

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Ok.....this was more funny than embarasssing!

I am at times quite vocal in the sack (most times) and one early summer morning I woke up, lazily crawled out of bed and opened my drapes.....Looking out onto the neighborhood (it was a Sunday) I could see the hustle and bustle of my neighbors milling about engaged in uproarious laughter......looking over at my house!!!!
I remember thinking I wonder what they are laughing at.....cant be me!!! I looked about to see what I could see but alas the roof over my front porch impeded my view as to what my wonderful neighbors were finding so funny.
So of course my curiosity was taking over and I went downstairs to peer out my front window.....and there it was!!!!!

6 lawn chairs.....lined up on my front lawn...facing my house......beer bottles shrewn about....with a big sign that said. "Your performance is rated a "10" " Thanks for the entertainment.....LMFAO

I love my neighborhood!

OMG!!!! ROFLMFAO BIBI!

Excellent! TY so much for participating! (Oops! I mean....for contributing........oh shit!....I mean.....for replying! LMAO!) Too funny G/F! ^5!

*my reddness slightly fading*

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Lixy - absolutely stunning!!!!! Superb story! LOL

Bibi - I have a similair experience........................

A few years ago (2 many to mention actually) wnen I was at College we would all go away for a week in the summer for a weeks water skiing and drinking!. Well this one year I was going out with a certain female of my aquantance who decided that she wanted to come skiing aswell. Who was I to refuse!!!! Anyway, my parents had a touring caravan that we would pitch in the caravan site near to the loch in Perthshire where we went skiing and, unfortunately it rained for the entire week! Well, there is the apres ski in water ski-ing as well so of we went to the pub, and got absolutely bladdered!! That even, we wandered home, in the rain and the moonlight, feeling horny as hell so decided that we would go for a serious shaggathon when we got back to the van. Now a couple of the lecturers were also on the site so we were appropriately rauchous!! Got to the van, jumped into the bed and went for it !!! There was no place that we never shagged in or on that night! (which, actually sounds greater than it actually is given it was a tourer van and not a static!0 Anyway, the following morning We got up, suitably hungover but with very fond memories of the previous evenings "workout"! I stepped out the van went for a shower and when I came back i realised that the step was higher than the van itself, I double checked and realised that due to a mixture of the rain the three previous days and the amount of "movement" the previous night that the caravan had sunk in the grass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went in, told my s/o and we both went out to have another look, laughing as we did. Unfortunately we had beem a hell of a lot louder than we had fiirst thought the previous evening and had woken up at least three of the lecturers and their families. They 2 had seen us inspecting the lowered caravan and come out to see us. I was mortified as was my s/o. However, later that day, as we entered the pub after ski-ing we got a rapterous round of applause from all the students and staff!!!!!! seemingly one of the lecturers (who a few years older than me) had told my mate about the previous nights workout who had told everyone in the pub!!!!!!!!!!

Mortified or what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We could only laugh with them there was no way we could deny it!!

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If love is bad then I`m EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEA! TY big_yin! ROFLMFAO! I can picture it all! ALL I tell you!!! *hugs*

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

I rarely get embarrassed...

I'm so naturally goofy that I just pretend that any little 'incident' is just part of the "show".

(of course, I have hard time getting anyone to take me seriously when the time comes)

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I'm your Huckleberry.

Glad to see u have as good imagination as I believed you have Lixy Hun!

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If love is bad then I`m EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!