Some of them might actually be true. Well, some one has to make them up, even if they're not.

#1:
Ground beef comes from subterranean cows.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

#2
Except for physical and mental issues ... the older you get the younger you feel.

#3 The longer and harder you bash your head against the brick wall, the more chance you'll have of breaking through.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

#4 Climbing the ladder of success goes easy ... if you've got a good ladder with no broken rungs and they're not slippery from the rains or snows of life.

#5 Smoke detectors warn you about two things: a) Fire Hazard & b) Your abilities in the kitchen.

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Eudaimonia

#6 Income taxes are not a problem if your income is low enough.