My wife and I are in our 30's, married over 15 years. I have had an obsession (almost) of wanting to watch my wife have sex w/another man. Does anyone have any idea where this comes from? Do any of you guys fantasize about this? Has anyone actually done this before?

No, not done it, but it's an exciting fantasy, I agree.
I am worried about how I/we would feel after.

I have the same fantasy. To see my partner getting pleasure (and her seeing me) from someone else is always top of our fantasy list. It would be like knowinhg what the other guys feeling and seeing my partner happy from another perspective.

We will try it when the circumstances seem right, as long as we are both happy with it.

Sum1new - I'm at a similar stage in life to you - perhaps there are more dangerous motivations behind this fantasy.

Do you feel your sex life has stagnated?

Does your wife show her appreciation of you enough?

On the other hand there is a long standing tradition of the Bacchanalia - this is an opportunity for women to get out of the marriage box and go wild for a night each year - no holes barred, no questions asked.

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Vigil, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.

Madam, if you were my wife, I would take it.

In answer to your questions, no, our sex life has not stagnated. In fact I began having this fantasy about 2 years into our marriage. We have talked about off and on, and she says she thinks it would be exciting but probably not practical.

Where did the tradition of Bacchanalia originate?

Recorded in classical greece, though probably has roots much further back. I've always liked it as it addresses the compromise that we adhere to in accepting a preference for the stability of marriage for society generally over our individual desires, and gives an outlet as a pressure valve so to speak.

I used to think about it, and yes from a similar time into my marriage. But I don't now. I don't know why it started, nor why it stopped. I never discussed it with my wife as she was always very clear about sexual monogamy.

I think the fact that monogamy is unnatural for apes generally gives rise to this fantasy, mixed with a little danger-seeking, voyeurism, testing yourself etc

I've read plenty of threads here warning of the dangers.

Have you tried a video of the two of you yet. Looking at that may be like a toe in the water.

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Vigil, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.

Madam, if you were my wife, I would take it.

Yes we've done the video thing......it was fun, but not as erotic as we'd hoped. As for the "toe in the water" idea, she does get fondled and occasionally kissed on the dance floor when she does the "ladies night out" thing w/her friends. She openly tells me what happens and that, at least, is exciting, even tho no realy sexual interaction has occurred...

Does your wife want to explore this fantasy further than the girl's nights?

I guess, I came to the conclsusion that this was one Pandora's box best left locked.

That's my two cents. Good luck whatever happens.

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Vigil, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.

Madam, if you were my wife, I would take it.

She does and then again she doesn't......kind of an approach avoidance conflict I guess......worried what it would do to us.......excited about how much fun it would be.......There's always a price to be paid I suppose.

I'm also from the mid-west, if you ever want to go through with it, i wouldn't mind fucking your wife while you watched and jerked off.

Q.E.D. Sum1new.

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Vigil, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.

Madam, if you were my wife, I would take it.

This is a nice fantasy, which could be dangerous translated into real life. OK, the natural next step, then, might be to develop it into a story and post it on the site. Your wife could describe her dance night outing and the feelings of being fondled by a stranger.
Then you could write the next chapter, describing how she comes home and tells you how her pussy's all wet because a stranger was trying to get into her knickers - that chapter ends up with you fucking her brains out, of course...
Next morning, one of you suggests inviting the stranger home...

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Erotically yours... Gus

I agree...it can be a dangerous Pandora's box...however, as someone who has been the "wife," if all parties are comfortable with each other, not only the situation, and there is open communication, it can be an incredibly exciting experience. GusAspar's idea of a story is a good one to see how you both are ready for the next step. Good luck, no matter what happens.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author