I have a theory. I believe that every problem in the world can be solved by either a hammer, duct tape or WD40.

For example, terrorism. A pesky problem to be sure. I believe it can be solved by a duct tape. All passengers on airlines should be thoroughly wrapped in duct tape to prevent any hijack attempts.

Problem at work? Hammer. Works on either that troublesome fax machine...or that annoying boss.

So, my friends, I ask that you help prove me right. Reply to the problem above by answering if you would solve it with either a hammer, duct tape or WD40 and how you would do so, and then post a problem of your own. You get the idea.

Now to start things off...

A bad hair day.

Make a hat out of duct tape (yeeowtch on the taking it off though)

A tail light broke on your car?

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It's a BOY!!

Hammer. Break out the other one to make a matching set.

Telemarketers calling you.

WD-40. Loosen the connections in their phones, so that when they try and call, everything comes unconnected.

Politicians who make empty promises just to get themselves elected.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

Duct tape. Put it over their mouths so that they have to put everything in writing.

Favorite team not doing well in the play-offs.

Hammer... so they can claim poor performance was due to injuries rather than lack of talent...

Those pesky noseeums in the summer time.. akkkkkkkkk!

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

Hmmm...a hammer would be too painful and wd-40 would feel really gross and probably doesn't have a very good spf, so I'll go with taking strips of duct tape and putting them on your body with the sticky side out so the bugs stick to them like a fly strip!


People in the express lane at the grocery store...with 13 items in their cart!

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Duct tape, stick em to the floor or their cart so they can't get them, out

Horny husband

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Susan

Oh, this calls for all three...

Squirt WD40 on the ground so they slip and fall. Then tape them down to the ground so the can't move. Proceed thereafter to get medieval on their ass with the hammer!

Start with the ankles...


Now how about dealing with auto mechanics at the dealership that routinely cannot seem to recreate the problem you have with your car... even though it happens EVERY time you are behind the wheel.

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

All three again..duct tape them to the car until they find the problem, hit them on the head with the hammer so they smarten up, then give them a can of WD-40 and let them squirt it, cause will probably fix the problem.

Horny woman

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Susan

duct tape her to the bed

flat tire

Duct tape to seal the hole in the tire; then plenty of WD-40 to re-inflate it.

A broken heart...

well, i've always found that bailing wire comes in handy as well, but in the case of a broken heart you'd definitely need duct tape


but what would you use if your zipper broke and your stuff was hangin' out?

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one for all, and all for me!

hammer your stuff back into your pants and wd-40 the zipper. If that doesn't work, create a new pair of pants with duct tape.


What do you do when you've run out of tissues?

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Use the hammer to break your nose... people will be quick to give you tissues to stop the bleeding.

Thread hijackers?

__________________
Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these