My SO and I were at a friend's house on the weekend and were enjoying quite a few drinks. When we asked what she was up to the next weekend she mentioned that she was busy. My SO kept pressing to find out her plans as she thought that our friend had finally met a new guy.

Our friend let it slip that she was going to be attending a large orgy and that she had been going to them for quite some time. She told my SO that we were welcome to tag along.

My SO laughed the whole thing off while we were there and told our friend she was crazy, but in a good way.

Since then my SO brought up the whole incident. We talked and talked and talked and she's not against the idea, but isn't sure it's for her. We've played about with some soft threesomes and I had a drunken foursome without her once, but neither one of us has ever had any experience with a full-blown orgy and she's the only person we've met that has ever admitted to going.

How many people go to these? Are they really all that common? What kinds of things should we expect if we do end up going?

That's the biggest thing blocking my SO: that we don't know what to expect.

It's called google, sweetheart. Check out the world of kink. We're here, we're freaks, get used to it.

It sounds like you're both interested in experimenting. Maybe check out online ads and see what's going on in that "world" first.

If you're both attracted to your friend, talk to her, draw her out. She knows a lot. Have a nice, sensuous dinner with wine and play some nice music. PF would recommend jazz.

We have been googling things but as you are probably aware, in real life, things are rarely like porn.

With the soft threesomes we have tried, we have always had the luxury of picking the other person, but we're not sure how an orgy would work. Do people just pair off with one another, or break into threesomes or just pile into a giant group?

Does anyone have experiences with them? Good? Bad? Do again or never again?

Well, my SO and didn't go to the orgy on the weekend. We did spend quite a bit of time talking about it, which led to some pretty hot nights

We met with our friend on Sunday afternoon for a few pints and she blew my SO's mind with her account of the event. Apparently there were 8 couples and some "select" singles there and a couple of the girls, our friend included, were treated to a little all-males-invited group session.

She's really put us more at ease about the whole idea. She's promised us that if we go to the one next month that she'll ask everyone to take it easy on the newbies.

Guess we'll see how things go next month.

The Mr. and I had a brief experimental period years ago, and we attended several swingers parties. They are more like a jr. high dance than anyone would ever like to believe--lots of people standing around looking nervous. It seemed that for the majority, they only felt comfortable acting on their impulses if they were well-lubricated with adult beverages. Me, I wanted to remember it all; if I don't want to do it sober, (whatever "it" is), I don't want to do it.

Going to the party was the Mr's idea, and I was very nervous with all the usual insecurities, and was sure no one would give me a second look. He figured he was going to get laid a lot. Turns out, that's not how it worked out, and ultimately, we quit at his request. It didn't live up to the fantasy for him; for me, it was an amazing time, except for the very grumpy hubby. And that was enough for me to let it go. I would say we learned a great deal about ourselves, and each other, from the experience, but it also took us to the very edge as a couple; we were lucky we were able to step back from a fatal drop.

I would recommend you go with very low expectations, and some ground rules decided upon in advance as to what is acceptable and what is not, and stick to it. It is not for the faint of heart.

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Truer wisdom there is not. Ones participation in an orgy is at the risk of misinterpretation of intentions by the SO. Always know that it's just a fuck. When I am being fucked, I let my emotions flow. Sometimes when being satisfied most deeply, I say things that can be misunderstand. In the keeping of the ground rules, "What happens when orgying, stays in the orgy." No expectations of our SO and no holds barred in release of body to sexual/sensual participation. Fuck my brains out sweetheart. I love sex.

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In my experience, men that are emotionally and physically involved with a woman tend to have issues in those sorts of scenarios, even MMF threesomes, and I have been the odd male in more than a few of those.

I personally haven't been plagued by that, as I enjoy seeing my partner being pleasured and joining in, but I have female friends that have chosen to experience it that have not included or informed their spouses or S/O's. In most cases, it seems that is the better option for a woman who is interested.

As an afterthought, I am basically straight in a one-on-one situation, but in the threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes, you do whatever is in front of your face.

Thanks guys, and gals. I've played around a bit in the past with threesomes, and one foursome, but have only done some soft threesomes with my current SO (everything but penetration for those involved). She had been a bit hesitant about anything full-on.

Since talking with her friend she's really taken to this whole orgy idea. Thanks AZRedHot, I'll do my best to keep her expectations as low as possible and we will try to setup some ground rules.

Who knows, maybe this is her way of trying to get over her hesitations she had.

Keep yours low, too, Jay_ba. I know you're experienced in this area, but not with this lady. I wasn't the jealous one in the end; my hubby was. Emotions can be tricky in situations like this, and you never know how you're going to feel until you're there. I was amazed I could handle "just a fuck." It was fun and easy...for me.

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Thanks AZRedHot. My expectations are fairly low. My SO is VERY picky, so it may end up with us going and nothing happening. Although, I could be wrong. She went down to Cordoba street the other day and bought a amateur movie featuring groupsex scenes. She really enjoyed it when we watched it together.

Now, I wouldn't say that I am experienced. I have had some encounters, but am still far from calling myself experienced

If you don't mind me asking, what was it that got your husband jealous? Was it a particular encounter or just the idea in general?

Honestly, he was jealous of the opportunities I had because I was a woman (who are always more in demand at these things, which is why they rarely invite single men), then he did. He wasn't jealous of the men per se, or possessive of me. In fact, he loved watching me be fucked by other men--it's a mental image he still cherishes. However, he, too, is picky, and not terribly forward, and that worked against him in this situation. An outgoing woman who wants sex is always popular. So he got frustrated with the whole situation. It did not live up to his expectations.

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Well, I hope there is more action for me there than what you make it sound like The most people I've been around was a foursome with my ex, so it might be a little overwhelming for me too.

This Saturday will be two weeks until D-day. Hopefully I won't have to be the evil guy and drag her out of a group of men when it's time to go home

I hope so, too. Let us know how it goes for you.

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I will definitely keep all of you up-to-date. But as you said, we will try to keep our expectations low. And that is a challenge right now. My SO is over-planning/thinking the whole thing. She's going on about if there will be really attractive men there, or if there will be very "large" guys, or what the women will be like. She doesn't want us to get involved with her friend as she would feel weird about it (part of the ground rules we discussed as Citrus suggested). It's a full-time job trying to keep her grounded.

Saturday night went a lot better than either of had expected.

The event took place at a rented estancia. There were about ten other couples and some selected singles. It started off pretty tame with everyone just chatting and having a drink but then we noticed that there were fewer and fewer people in the main area.

We ended up chatting in the main room with one of the few single guys who had been invited. It didn't take her long to suggest that we find ourselves a bedroom. It was our first non-soft threesome and certainly will not be our last.

We talked about the whole thing on Sunday. Both of us were a little worried that things might have changed but we both felt that it was a positive experience. She was worried that she held me back by only wanting a threesome with the guy, but I felt different. I just didn't want her doing something when she really didn't want to.

She's feeling a lot more comfortable and confident and is definitely game to going again next month.

Thanks for all the advice. It definitely helped!!