08-17-2008, 07:17 PM
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Lusting Horny Pixie
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: In your imagination
Posts: 4,292
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Which are you?
Do you consider yourself to be dominant or are you more submissive by nature? Do you exhibit that trait in your entire life, or just sexually? Is it possible to be both?
For me, it isn't a simple explanation. In my professional life, I am probably perceived to be dominant and in control. In my personal life, I have always been dominant. That being said, because I have been celebate (and self reliant) for so long, I have a strong need to be submissive, to let go of the pressure of being in control and giving that "power" to someone else.
It makes me wonder if it is common for someone who appears to be in control to want to be submissive sexually.
Kisses. Again, looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
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08-17-2008, 08:09 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: WA
Posts: 178
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this is a great question! I feel dominant in my job (its a very male industry and I am having to prove myself to a few people). I have my moments sexually where I love to be dominant.
Lately I have wanted more and more to be submissive. So maybe a balance?
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08-17-2008, 09:32 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,566
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I am dominant in every aspect of my life. That being said, there are times it's nice to relinquish control to someone I trust implicitly. But even then I'm pretty much topping from the bottom
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08-17-2008, 10:41 PM
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Yankee in Dixie
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 4,217
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I've actually noticed a trend in the few people I've had this conversation in person with. Those that have to be in control in view of the public seem to prefer to be submissive sexually. I'm not sure on the opposite side though, if those that are the "grunts" in the work force prefer to be in control in the bedroom. Personally, I don't know which group I fall in.
__________________
"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf
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08-17-2008, 11:03 PM
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Starry-eyed Pixie
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,220
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I do my very best to appear calm, cool and collected and above all in COMPLETE CONTROL when it comes to how i am perceived by the general populous I can come across as very demanding and picky whereas in the bedroom not only do I want to be dominated, I enjoy being broken down, granted that may be due to me detachment issues but the question I hate to hear is " I don't care, how do you want to fuck?" sometimes it's ok...... but usually I prefer to not have to choose because I'm afraid it will disappoint my partner who may have preferred to cum in my ass rather than let me lick the flavor of my own pussy off his cock until he cums in my mouth...... >shrug< I am very submissive in the bedroom, I am supportive in the face of what I approve of in the way of a dominant individual, otherwise I will get rid of the offending dominant and take over doing their job in what I feel to be a more appropriate manner until I can find a more suitable person for the job...... the bad thing is I think I try to do this with relationships............
__________________
-Seems we got here just in the nick of time. Whats that make us?
--Big damn heros Sir.
-Ain't we just.
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08-18-2008, 02:55 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,686
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I really don't see myself as either, at work or play.
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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating
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08-18-2008, 06:27 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 547
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilith
But even then I'm pretty much topping from the bottom
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And that will get you punished.
__________________
"Old age and Treachery will overcome Youth and Enthusiasm...Everytime!"
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08-18-2008, 08:31 AM
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Pixie's Resident Reptile
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Central MD, USA
Posts: 21,172
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Which is often the point of 'topping from below'.
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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.
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08-18-2008, 11:14 AM
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Loungin' Around
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: West Coast
Posts: 30,587
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I seem to be dominant in every part of my life, too. Occasionally I want someone to *try* and dominate me sexually - usually it doesn't work, though. It just makes the play more interesting.
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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney
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08-18-2008, 12:15 PM
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Pixies Flirt
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,357
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I'm dominant in the bedroom, just not to the extent that I wish I could be.
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08-18-2008, 02:38 PM
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Provert
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: austin texas y'all
Posts: 74
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well due to my size and demeaner i come off as very very dominate. However in the bedroom i often find myself seeking a partnership rather than total control. In my dealings with people outside my home i can be seen as very aggresive however i try and temper it with humor.
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See I love people who have been through some shit. When the shit is about to hit the fan they step to the side. Quick Step to the side.
And shepards we shall be For thee my lord for Thee power hath desended forth from thy hand that our feet shall carry out thy commands and flow a river forth to thee and teeming with sould shall it ever be in nomina patris. et` fili et spiritus sancti
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08-18-2008, 06:43 PM
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is not this trim anymore!
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New England
Posts: 21,709
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There's a big difference between "being dominant" and "being the one that takes control".
I most often initiate and always lead during sex, but am very comfortable moving through life side by side.
__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.
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08-19-2008, 01:42 AM
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unregistered mutt. woof!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Fantasies
Posts: 972
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I'm misunderstood. I'm submissive and introspective. People see my appearance and think I'm dominant. I actually am frustrated. I want to be dominant, yet at nearly every turn I accede to the recessive trait unfortunately the forward point of my make up. When i do get around to the dominant it's with emotional stirring of upset. I fear I'll go over the top in inability to control myself. OH, Dear, Oh my, what to do, what to do?
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I like; a) taint brushing: b) a good cigar: c) our juices together; d) champagne: e) protein squirts; f)more of these; g)much more of these; h) Damn, slide that thing into me. Deep!
Adage: 2 things are certain in life; Death & Taxes. Therefore; God & Beelzebub had a meeting to fix the problem. A mighty storm prevailed for ages until finally they ended the storm with the agreement: From now on Anyone whom chooses doesn't have to die. "Everyone wins said Beelzebub. You get an eternally grateful bunch of worshippers praying forever for lower taxes as I goad & prod them forever with higher & higher taxation."
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08-19-2008, 07:15 AM
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Goddess Of the night
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 1,327
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very well said Wildirish
Quote:
Originally Posted by WildIrish
There's a big difference between "being dominant" and "being the one that takes control".
I most often initiate and always lead during sex, but am very comfortable moving through life side by side.
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__________________
I love the night
I love the element of danger and the ecstasy of flight,
I love the night
I love to dance with a stranger and to feel his delight,
And when the dancing is through, I kick off my shoes,
And I listen to the beating of his heart
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08-19-2008, 07:27 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: louiisiana
Posts: 72
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switch hitter
Submissive mostly,,,,but sometimes want to dominate with out dissapointing or displeasing,,,,,not sure that makes since.
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jaycee
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