Ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow. ow.

Clearly, there's an answer, in two parts: Part 1: http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/cancer.html

Part 2: http://iheartguts.com/products/mammary-plush

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.