Painted flukes and an exaggerated aesthetic sense.

Scientists have long wondered at the behavior of whales, especially when they do that "jump out of the water" thing.

A recent, as yet to be generally accepted, discovery is that this is the behaviour of straight whales when confronted with an incessant barrage of comments about how untidy the kelp is, how terrible this krill is for the hips and if someone could just develop a tofu shrimp how much healthier that could all be, and whether that whalesong from Pacific4 should be banned due to homocetaciaphobic content.

Apparently for the layman, it's easy. Some go down and some go up.

The something in the water is biodegradable, after the little whale tadpoles stop cavorting in the ocean. And you thought it was crocs, stingers and sharks we had to worry about.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating