I know what I want to be when I grow up
 

A happy thing and a rant................

Well, I have decided... I am going to go back to college!!! YAY! I will start night school on January 20th - and I am really excited! Computer Information Systems (CIS) Web Development with an AAS degree, and will hopefully follow with a BA degree sometime beyond that! Sounds pretty exotic doesn't it?? LOL

Now, some background....Cobalt and I have been married for 5 years now. He has custody of the kids because his ex walked out on all of them and the kids wanted to be with their dad. She didn't have anything to do with the kids really until I came into the picture and has been a bane in my side from that moment on. What does that have to do with my going back to college? Read on fellow Pixians....

The only downside to my attending college is what became known to me just last night. Cobalt's ex-wife (UGGGGGG) decided for some unknown reason to attend college as well, same place, same time, same bat channel!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGG - it is like the proverbial bad penny!!! The stomach ache that you always get from eating too many green apples!!!! The act of vomiting when you open up a carton of milk and find that it is spoiled!!!! Yeah, I know, a bit dramatic.. <sigh> ... but true! Cobalt won't hardly speak with her, and basically the communication that goes on between us for the kids sake is through me. And it is exhausting to be pleasant and nice and perky with her, so for the most part, when I don't have to see much less speak to her my day is excellent. Becasue she is starting the same day as I am, we are going to have lots of gen. ed. classes together. :( The only good thing is she is attending for totally different stuff then I am, so it will only be the gen ed classes that we will have together.

***OK... I hear Lixy in my head - "Calm...Love... Peace..." :) - and if she spits on you give her a right hook to the jaw! ***

All that I am ranting about isn't new....I have had to overcome the small town she has lived here her whole life and you are the new kid in school mentality in the community. Everytime I am interested in a club, service group, school committee, she is there - or her little spies tell her, and she shows up. Now, where I thought I would be "safe" and be in a place that was totally mine (in another city), she is there again!!! I am being tested! Am I being punished for having "bad" thoughts about her??? Do I have to find my center and make peace with my enemy???

I do know this - I am strong, brave, smart and will succeed in anything that I do. I also know that she cannot control me (even though she tries). And, if she tries to sit beside me in class, I am going to move - and maybe in Speech class I will give a speech about dead-beat moms who leave their kids...... jk... lol

Thanks for listening to me..........

Is she with anyone? Any time I have done any sort of course, they always turn out to be a datefest. She may meet a guy there and be out of your hair after that. The best thing about little towns is getting out of them you know. Is that an option?

She had an affair during her marriage with Cobalt and got married to him 2 days after their divorce was final.

Getting out of town is not an option... for the kids, or us. We are on a "century farm" in the country... and I wouldn't allow her to chase me from my home.

Oh! A very nasty sort indeed.

I have the solution......... but.............. for some reason it is illegal to stop someone so worthless from using up valuable oxygen.

Someday the chance to pay her back for all the shit she has put us through will appear, and boy will that be sweet then. They say what goes around comes around.................. still waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It would seem to me you have every right not to be nice to her. The 'towns folk' like her then? She is a big fish in a small pond sort?

That sounds like the Cheyanne I’ve come to know. :) And if she puts as much effort into this schooling as you say went into raising her children, she won’t be there long.;) This could be a great opportunity to SHOW your small town what you are made of instead of them HEARING what you arn’t.:D

(On the day you get your first degree,... send her a bottle of champagne or fruit basket with a note saying “thanks for the incentive”.) ;)

More and more I like the way PF thinks.

YAY!!!!! Sister friend! I am so proud of you. Ignore the ex, not worth it, wish her well and put her on extinction. I am not gonna lie and say that maintaining a homelife, taking care of a family and doing all the 6,000 other things that have to be done cause you are the wife/mom, make it easy to be a returning student but being determined to do it despite all the million things needing your attention too, turns you into a different kind of student. You will do fabulously!

If ya need anything, I'll be here for you. (((Chey)))

I love you guys!!!

Catch22 - it isn't so much that she is a big fish in a small pond, there aren't many who enjoy her company, and they do hold it against her that she left her kids.... she is all appearances to the public... perhaps she feels as if she has something to prove... I don't know. And I guess I shouldn't really care - I have me and mine to worry about and I shouldn't allow her to affect/effect me in the way that she does.

Thanks PF... (((((HUGS))))) Sometimes I have to wallow a bit before I find my moxy - I don't know if that is a fault of mine or not, but more often than not I get more motivated afterwards. And besides... I wouldn't waste a good bottle of wine/champagne/beer on her - and I would eat the fruit first and send her the pits!!

(((((LILITH))))) When I was weighing the pros and cons of returning to college I thought of you....and put your name on the pro side.. :D There are a lot of things that happen in my everyday life that I often say to myself "What would Lilith, Sharni, Lixy, IAKG, Steph... etc do?" It is like you guys are apparitions that float around me and motivate/protect/care for me... which is a goooooood thing!!! :D

(((HUGS)))) to you all - and thanks for letting me wallow/rant/get it out of my system!!!!

Cheyanne,

Best of luck madam. I hope she doesn't try your patience TOO much between now and your graduation. Some people can be difficult to deal with and are indeed unavoidable.

Good luck {{{{{{{{{Cheyanne}}}}}

Hopefully she'll drop out in the first week. :D

If not, is there any way you can be civil about it and tell her that you'll deal with her re: the kids but school is off limits?

jseal - you are right on with that... she won't try my patience if I don't allow her too... ****CHANT-chant-chant-CHANT**** lol

Steph ((((HUGS))))

I have had my wallow pity party.. now I am ok, thanks in part to my rant, all of you and Cobalt. I am grounded now.. :D and I feel kinda silly for reacting the way I did. Getting it out of my system did help! :D :D :D

If she feels it necessary to communicate with me verbally during school time about the kids my response is going to be - "Now is not the time, if you have something you want to talk about do it in an e-mail." That way we have a record of it (CYA) and then she will get the message that I do not wish to socialize with her. As far as homework, workgroups, etc., go during school - it may be unavoidable, but - after speaking with the lady who does the scheduling and giving her some background, I feel better. She will go above and beyond the call of duty to assist me in making my college experience a good one without any unnecessary additional stress - so she will schedule the ex and I accordingly.

I also found out that a few of my prior credits may transfer over so some of the gen ed courses I won't have to take... she is also checking on some more - so that is good. Less gen ed, less exposure.. :D

Do the kids refer to you as their mother? If so then you have it all and to the wicked witch we say:
LOSER

Cheyanne---I totally agree with what you are doing!A few years ago,I wouldn't have,but I have learned thru experience.This post,
has nothing to do with Cobalts ex.I have no suggestions,on that.
A few years ago,my wife,wanted to go to night college,to get a degree.At that time,I said-Why waste your time?Our kids are grown &you have a good job & are making good money.She went,
graduated & got her degree.After being at the same job(accounting firm)for 12 1/2 yrs,the local office closed.The home office was in Laconia NH(about 40/45mi,from here)I temporarily,
worked there.If you remember the movie"On Golden Pond",I
commuted & rebuilt the engine,on the US Postal boat,that supposedly "burned"in the movie.The commute sucks.My wife quit
& now works at Liberty Mutual.She now makes well over $50,000
a year.Without getting her degree,she wouldn't have gotten the
job!Shows how smart that I was.Good Luck! Irish