How do you cope with your fears?
 

Probably you have read already somewhere that I am working on my divorce. I have a problem with myself on all that.
I am scared. Yesterday there were waiting many little jobs to do for me, but I couldn´t. I ran away. I ran away to my little refuge Pixies, just not to be exposed to the tasks of the real life.
Today I woke up and knew, today I HAVE to do it. But I wanted to run away. These intentions to flee are so strong that it happens that I am thinking it is easier to commit suicide than doing my works. I am scared, I am running away.
I know a strategy that helps: Viewing the tasks, and to find out the worst case what can happen. Then face the facts. And from that point do everything to get the best result.
But sometimes it is difficult. Like yesterday and today. I am falling back to my old behaviour.

What are your best strategies for dealing with your fears?

(((((((German Steve))))))))

I know this has been a really hard time for you but there will be a resolution to it all. Fear can become paralyzing if you allow it to. You can fall into the cycle of promising yourself to do something, not doing it, feeling bad about your self for not doing it, trying to feel better so you promise to do it tomorrow and the cycle goes on and on. If it has come to a point where it has you feeling so bad that suicide seems easier then I think you need to speak with a doctor or professional who can help you. They can hellp you develop a plan to combat the anxiety you are feeling. I care about you and want you to feel good about yourself and your life.......

The only other way I know is to break the cycle by facing the fears. Just do it......don't think about it (makes you just dread doing it)... just attack it and put it behind you! (((hugs)))

Fears all have to be faced at one time or another GS, and I wish you luck with yours. However, the key to surviving them is to not let them rule you or to let you become to soft or hard after you have defeated them. Whatever will happen, will happen. Life at some point will go on, I know that may sound harsh, but anyone can take on anything.

Good vibes to ya bud.

i know that this sounds corney but i have faith in something (not sure what) that if i walk through and do my best i can come out the other side. someone once told me the opposite of fear is faith. if fear is paralyzing work on faith. faith in yourself, life, friends, family or even something from the vast beyond lol. as long as you trust enough to take steps you'll get somewhere.

Hey Bud, hang in there. Nobody or nothing is worth ending it all. I caught hell during my divorce as well. In fact at one point our workplace nurse (and dear friend) lined me up for counciling. As it turns out that was the best move made. We worked through a lot of the anguish and fear. Nowadays my biggest abnormality is being a Pixies perv. I can handle that one. LOL If I can help in any way let me know friend. Best wishes and prayers for Ya too.

GermanSteve, I do think Lilith is right ... dive and do what has to be done. We'll be thinking of you and offering up our good thoughts that things will work out okay.

Thank you all :), I am ok for today. And you are right, as soon as I can I will look for professional help. Just for my conditions of work it won´t be possible immediately.
Today I did what was possible, and it was the main part of the jobs.
*deep breathe*
But if anybody has another tip... please post it, everything is appreciated.

GermanSteve;

I feel for you, fella! I'm going through a divorce myself right now, and I know how crappy it makes you feel even if it's friendly-ish, as ours is.

You may know already that I am a Psychiatric Nurse by profession, and I have also suffered very badly from depression in the past - to the extent of being 3 feet from the edge of an 80 metre cliff... so I have a fair idea of where you are.

My best suggestion to you is a combination of what has been said already - yes counselling, and probably some form of medication, is a good first step, as is taking your fears by the balls, and just ripping those fuckers right off! The main thing though, is to re-learn to like yourself again..... it's pretty obvious (to me) that you don't like YOU very much right now ~ I don't know the story of your break-up (I'm sorry) but part of this self-hate seems to be because you come here to "escape" real life.. DON'T! Everybody that comes here, does so for their own reasons, as you know better than I do I'm sure, and I'm sure more than one is taking the opportunity to hide from Something for a little while. I found Pixies just after my own break-up, and stayed.... why'd you think THAT was??

The most encouraging thing from my point of view is ~ you recognise what you're doing and why, and that is a rare thing, believe me! If you can still do that, things aren't going to be quite as tough as they could be (I know you probably don't want to hear that, but it IS a fact)

The only other thing I can think of is, try to get out and do some HARD physical exercise. It might be pretty hard to motivate yourself at first, but it DOES make you feel a bit better (endorphins and other natural chemicals ~ isn't Ma Nature wonderful?!)

Hang in there friend... "may the force be with you".

DM


P.S. If you have questions/concerns about any kind of treatment or therapy you're offered, PM me.... I'll help out all I can.

DM

Dear Steve,

I've known you to be a sensitive person and I know you are in a lot of pain lately. I'm so glad you shared your problem with us. It can be very therapeutic to talk things over. Get them out so you don't feel you are carrying the burden alone. We can give you advice and we can listen and we can be here whenever you need us......but you said so yourself, you are hiding from your fear here and that's not the best thing to do when you have thoughts of suicide. Suicide may seem (at the worst times) to be the only solution to you. It's actually the absolute worst solution! It's no joke when they say, "tomorrow's another day". And if you weren't here you wouldn't know what that day held for you! It could be the best day of your life.....but you wouldn't be here to know that! Yes, of course, it could another day just like the last.....but it is one more day closer to a means to an end.

You are not always going to be in this situation. Life ALWAYS has ups and downs. If it didn't.....how would we ever know what good was if we never had bad to compare it to? Not one single person on this planet has a "perfect" life free of the bad things that get us down. No one does! Some have worse things happening to them than you or I will ever experience. But when we let fear overcome us and shadow our perspective as to the fact that it can't always be like this.....depression sets in....and that's the time when we NEED professional help!

I know money can be a problem situation for you right now......but don't neglect yourself for lack of money! There must be clinics that can provide a therapist for a nominal fee or even free. I don't know how that works for you where you are but I know that a phone book and some cross referencing could help you find the help you need. Maybe even the clergy at a church near you. They might direct you to a place that helps people in your situation. A hospital might help you get in touch with someone who's fees are within your means. Whatever the case DON'T neglect yourself at this time hun! Your fears and anxieties are real and you NEED help coping with all that has come down on you lately! There is NO shame in asking for help. There IS cowardice and shame in suicide. No one has ever looked back at a family member or friend and said, "Yes, he did the right thing in his case. I feel good that _______ did what he did to spare us watching him in pain. I'm glad he didn't go for help because now he would be around and happier than me". *Some things will just never be spoken.*

Sorry for the preaching Steve..........I just care about you and I don't want you to NOT care too! So.......go get that telephone book or call that local hospital and ask for help hun! You deserve it and you need it and we want you around here for a long time!

*hugs n more hugs*

P.S........PM me anytime if you need a shoulder.

All,
I am sitting here crying but smiling again. I just want to tell you that I am very busy now. I will have to contact my lawyer in Spain and send him lots of information. This being busy helps me a bit standing every single day. It is a pity that I am working in another town 200 km away from here and therefore cannot meet my therapist here.
Let me say thank you very much to everybody.

All texts are read and welcome just two remarks:

DM ~ one year ago I bought an axe for physical exercise (to remove my aggressions). It worked. I think I should get it out and visit the nearest woods again.

Lixy ~ the thought about the family´s reaction is a good one. TY!

Grrrrrroup hug!

Stefan

>>>HUG<<<

Exercise is good! :)

Busy is good! :)

Feeling even a "teeny" bit better is excellent!!:D

Gauyerselson, as we say in Scotland!

DM



{Just so you know, I don't usually do the "hug" thing!}

DM

GermanSteve---I know it sounds corny,but suicide is a permanent
solution for a temporary problem.I have found that the only way to face your fears is to confront them,head on! Irish
P.S.Use the motto that I have used."A quitter never wins and a
winner never quits."It sounds simple but it works.Good Luck!

I have been working almost all night on the briefing for my lawyer. I can see that my wife really wants to destroy me. But I am still breathing. Not feeling very good but I cannot do more about it.

A winner never quits. Thank you for this phrase, Irish.

Stefan

guaranteed fear-killers: absinthe, mescaline, and bestiality porno. mix the three and fear'll shit itself, ironically enough, in terror. look into it.