WHAT? You mean you can't get your lazy butt up out of that chair and fix your own meal!!!!


Aren't you happy we're going to ballgame this weekend?

Oh yeah, I always get thrilled watching two young kids I don't know shooting a game of marbles.

How about a nice cold beer?

How about a nice cold beer? Sure, thats on my diet!!!


I can't wait to go work out!

I can't wait to go work out! Like unfolding the chaise lounge is a major challenge.

I'll be happy to work over ...

I'll be happy to work over your dead body!


Did you miss me?

Did you miss me? How can I miss you if you won't leave. :D

Get dressed now.

Get dressed now. It's time for the horror show to end.

Isn't Niagara Falls impressive?

I guess, if you like watching nature's fresh water urinal being flushed.

Life is like a bed of roses.

Life is like a bed of roses, covered in thorns and growing in shit!

What time do you want me to wake you?

Sure life is like a bed of roses...full of pricks. lol


All good things come to those who wait.

Yeah...good things like getting mugged waiting in line for the atm.

Procrastination is so productive.

Procrastination is so productive we need politicians to run on a platform of "more crastination in every legislative session." :rolleyes:

Give me a greasy spoon restaurant every time ...

Only thing better would have been to go alone.


I just love people.

Especially the obnoxious ones ... they add so much color to a get together.

Store clerks are such friendly people ...

Yeah, friendly like a snake.

I'm so glad I'm not rich.