...if you don't want to live very long.

I always take my vitamins...

they are especially good if you chew them.


I never eat junk food.....

unless I'm awake!


I never drink . . .

without a glass or a bottle in hand. :)

I love stormy weather ...

...especially when I am camping underneath the stars. It's electrifying.

I love it when my mom calls to yell at me...

... especially when I have a headache and upset stomach.

Wish I could mow the lawn ...

Because sneezing, wheezing and itching are three of my very favorite things to do!

Of course I trust you, dear.

...about as far as I can throw your 500 lb lying ass.

I love having sex in the missionary position...

but wish those missionaries had more enthusiasm for it. :)

I like watching birds ...

...particularly when I'm standing right beneath them.


Wasn't that the BEST vacation we ever took?

especially if you find dead grass interesting!!


Is'nt life Grand

Like the Canyon of the same name, a big muddy ditch.

Are we having fun yet?

yeah just like watching paint dry!

you mean you don't like it?

Of course, who wouldn't want to wallow in it and grunt like a pig?

How about a haircut?

Ok from the neck up ok?


You want large fries with that?